


Overtale? No, That's Terrible

by Hyuuint



Series: Self Insert Saga. [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fanon stuff largely ignored, For Two Works, Honest, M/M, Mini Adventures, Mixture of Emotions, Multi, Not Really Gaster But Kinda Is, Self-Insert (sorta) - Freeform, Sequel, Series, Serious, Slight Romance (Not Insert), Spoilers, Time Skip (Sorta), not lying, not sorry, slice-of-life, yet sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2018-11-23 10:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11400933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyuuint/pseuds/Hyuuint
Summary: After shenanigans and dark mysteries, the Narrator has returned to the universe of Monsters! With a Void Being on their shoulder and a world now used to the Monsters themselves this is the slice-of-life adventures that only Undertale could (maybe) provide!And absolutely nothing bad is on the horizon! Nothing at all!What, you don't believe me?





	1. Made it Back Again! WOO!

It was incredible. I just managed to slip between worlds again, more fully and under my own decision! And not to mention that I managed to slipped away from the largest most diabolical  _ thing _ I have ever dealt with! Even with the games and books I had enjoyed over the years.

 

And the best part? The absolute best part?

 

“Check it out! You’re home!”

 

I held a piece of the Void Being in my hand with no worry of being sent into the Void itself!

 

The Grey One looked around. Their face, disfigured and conjoined as it was, effortlessly displayed sheer joy and relief. They pointed in every direction rapidly. Which considering their many arms wasn’t all that difficult.

 

They spun around and looked at the place before they peered up to me.

 

A few seconds of staring and I noticed that their mouth was moving. But… nothing was coming out.

 

“Uh… try that again?”

 

The Grey Being tried again. Still nothing came of it.

 

“Hm.” I leaned in close and put an ear up to them.

 

Nothing.

 

I turned my head and saw that they appeared to be screaming their lungs out.

 

I didn’t even hear their breath.

 

“Iiiiii am gonna take a guess and say that you can’t speak.”

 

They stopped their attempt and started to pace around my hand. I tried to keep my hand steady and level while they thought things through.

 

“My guess?” They paused. “You got way too used to that awesome Void-Speak thing. You know? How you projected everywhere at once?”

 

One of their hands rubbed their chin while a second scratched their head. A third one held up a declarative index finger as they nodded up and down furiously.

 

Then a whole bunch of their hands started making a lot of motions.

 

“Uhhhh.” I watched them flail about for a few seconds. Once my confusion started to become apparent the Grey Being’s motions slowed to a stop.

 

“Talking in hands?”

 

They nodded.

 

“Uhm. I never learned how to…”

 

They slumped a little with a very annoyed expression.

 

“Sorry?”

 

The Grey Being huffed and squatted down. 

 

I gave a small chuckle and lifted them up to my shoulder. “Hey, even if I can’t understand ya, we’ll work something out. Besides!” I waved around to the cave. “We’re back! You’re home! I’m… home? We’re home!” I laughed and danced a little. After a few moments they bobbed with me.

 

“Yeah see! Awesome!”

 

We celebrated for a bit longer but stopped after a small while.

 

“Okay! I say we start making our way out of the Underground and get to the surface. Hopefully we’ll run into someone on the way there or once we get out.”

 

The Tiny Being nodded emphatically to the suggestion and pointed to the entrance I took so long ago.

 

I shouldered my backpack and left the Landing Area. 

 

“Ah man it’s awesome to be back!” I walked through the dark cave where I met Flowey face-to-face and to the tree underground. “I wonder if the puzzles were reset? Dismantled?”

 

I looked into the next room and found that the stone-step door was wide open. “Left alone?”

 

They shrugged.

 

“Only got hints of things, eh?” They nodded again. “Makes sense.”

 

The next room was just like I figured it would be. The levers were down and so were the spikes. The water rushed through just like it would normally, so at least that was normal.

 

The trip through the Ruins was a somewhat lonely one. Aside from the Void Being on my shoulder there wasn’t another SOUL around. No Froggits, Whimsuns, Migosps, Moldysmols. Nothing. The candy bowl was gone, the leaves were all over the place. Everything had a patina of dust to it.

 

“Wow. They… must have cleared out quick, huh?”

 

They gave another tiny nod and a flurry of hands. The Void Being gave up after a few moments.

 

“Well, makes sense. Get tired of a place being there so long. And hey, Surface. Why stay put, right?”

 

We walked in relative silence, save for the sound of my footfalls echoing through the caverns. In what felt like no time yet all the time in the universe? We were at the former homestead of the Ex-Queen.

 

“Hey, five-one odds says there’s nothing in there.”

 

The Tiny Being gave me a thumbs up to that.

 

With a held breath I walked into the house. We looked around. “Darnit. Okay, five of whatever you want.”

 

Most of everything was gone, naturally. The chair, the dining table, the bookshelf. But Toriel left behind one thing. Just one tiny thing.

 

“Can’t believe I lost because of a sock. How scandalous.”

 

I felt the tiny Being bobbing up and down rapidly. My guess was that they were laughing.

 

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. THat’s the Ex-Queen’s sock, you know.”

 

Their bobbing stopped. Then it started up again twice as hard.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

They tugged on my collar and pointed down to the article. I squatted down and looked at the neck of the sock. 

 

“......What the bloody crudballing heck is sans’ sock doing in her house?” The bobbing tripled.

 

I rubbed the bridge of my nose.  _ sans just moved his sock. Way further away but he just moved it. How? Why? When? Who knows! But darn him for getting one over on me without him even knowing! Heck, it might not have been for me! I can totally see him just putting the sock here mid-move just to mess with Paps. _

 

I sighed as the Tiny Void Being slowly stopped bobbing up and down. “You good?” A nod was given. “Good. Cause we have a lot of Underground to travel.”

 

I felt them tap the side of my neck. “Welp. Time to get a move on.”

 

The way out was far less eventful the last time I made it through. No mother-henning goat-dragons hot on my heels. And way more relaxed.

 

While we walked I pulled out my home-phone. “No signal. Well that’s expected. Battery’s okay. No cracks just the old dings.” I held it up for them to look at it. “Neat huh?”

 

They stared in wonder. I gave a chuckle and turned on my random-color app. You now how music programs have various shapes and colors groove in time to the music? Same principle.

 

Their jaw went slack as they stared into the shifting spectrum. I meanwhile kept on trekking.

 

When I got to the cold of Snowdin Forest I was prepared! I reached into my backpack to reveal!   
  
A SWEATER!

 

“You lose this time cold magic!” I slipped it on and walked forth with a great deal of pride in my decision-making. The cold did not bother me that time! HAHAHA!

 

I crunched through the snow. The bridge creaked a lot more than I remembered but it held solid nonetheless. sans’ watch-point was missing though.

 

“Darn. Guess he needed it for something else.” I shrugged and kept trudging.

 

About half-way through the forest I gave the tiny Void-Being a tap. “Need to make a detour.”

 

They gave me an odd look but shrugged.

  
“Won’t take long honest.” I headed up a path and to the point of my detour.

 

“Hey there.”

 

Their face may not have been capable of changing, but I swear the coal on their face shifted up a little.

 

“You’re back.”

 

“That I am. Took a bit, but here I am. We are.”

 

“We? You brought someone?”

 

I motioned to my shoulder. “Yep.”

 

The snowman said nothing.

 

“You been doing okay?” I asked to break up the awkward silence.

 

“Oh yes. The King was kind enough to take a piece of me into the world. I couldn’t bear to leave, you see. And now? I am glad I didn’t.”

 

“It’s good to see you too.” I smiled brightly.

 

“You must be on your way back up to the Surface. Don’t worry about me. I sense more than enough with the King. I will be content. Be safe.”

 

“Thank you. You too, okay?”

 

We gave our goodbyes and I left them to their peace.

 

A short time later I felt a tap to my neck again. I looked over and the tIny Void Being was gesturing to themselves.

 

“I… have no idea. Maybe it’s the Void thing? I can see you cause I was in the space or something? I don’t know.”

 

They started to lose consistency and pool a bit onto my shoulder.

 

“Hey hey hey, don’t give up. We might be able to figure this out. And look at it this way: You’re here, you can experience things, and you’re not alone. Right?”

 

They didn’t respond for a time. I had just passed the Slippy-Slidey puzzle when I felt the pat again. I looked and they were back to their tiny semi-normal-ness.

 

“Better?”

 

They nodded again.

 

“Phew, good. Had me worried there.”

 

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. Like the Ruins no one was around, save the snowman of course. The rocks that were painted like a bridge were still in decent shape. And yes, it was still pretty freaking cold.

 

That was when I got to Snowdin.

 

Or. Rather.

 

When I got to where Snowdin  _ was. _

 

“...This can’t be… right.”

 

Everything was gone, save for what looked to be the foundations of the buildings peeking out of the snow. Every board, pane of glass, the tree, EVERYTHING. It was all gone.

 

“Uh…. Wow.” I rubbed the back of my head. “This was not what I expected.”

 

A tiny hand patted my cheek. “Yeah, I should keep going. Gotcha.”

 

I stopped by each place to see if anything was left behind. I didn’t see so much as a nail.

 

The Bunny-Inn was gone. Grillby’s. The Librarby. Even the Skele-bro’s home.

 

“This is just eerie. What say you we just… get going faster, eh?” They nodded quickly.

 

I gripped the straps of my backpack and took off at a trot. In a short span of time I had passed the Bros’ house and made it up the hill.

 

He may have been on the surface, but I was still keeping an eye out for a sans surprise. Fortunately (unfortunately?) none came.

 

When I made it to the entrance of Waterfall I took a moment to take off my sweater. Once finished I recollected my backpack and tiny friend and continued our way out.

 

Waterfall was pretty much the same, save for three differences. First off? Echo Flowers were EVERWHERE. I mean absolutely everywhere. I guess without the need of a path to be maintained they simply took over. And whatever sounds they had before were replaced with the static the devolved into, or the occasional rush of water. Tiny Being and I both made a silent agreement for me to keep quiet.

 

The second major change was that the the water puzzles were neutered into simple stone bridges. As in, slabs of stone between each pathway. It cut down on how long I spent in that area, not to mention the need to get past the bridge that Undyne had obliterated in her pursuit.

 

Thirdly? The false stars of the Underground didn’t gleam near half as good as the first time I saw them.

 

_ I guess that since no monsters are down here to wish on them, the magic that made them glittery faded. Hrm. A sad loss, but if it means monsters seeing real stars? It’s a worthwhile one. _

 

As you could imagine, sans’ telescope was missing. And as much as I wanted to check, I didn’t make the detour to see if the musical statue was where it was. I needed to get up to the Surface before too long.

 

Suffice to say every path I took was empty and abandoned. All that I saw for quite some time was the Echo Flowers. The gap to where THE BIRD once was was filled by another slab of stone, which I used to get across quickly. I did make one particular detour on my way out though.

 

Undyne’s house? It was STILL on fire. One quick peek into the window told me that the flames had started a family and were using her piano as a means of entertainment.

 

The Ghost Cousins’ snail farm was just as stripped down as Snowdin was. Heck I could still see the posts of where the fences used to be.

 

The whole way through, the tiny Void Being on my shoulder kept looking around. Every so often they’d tap my neck or cheek to get me to check out something or bring them closer to it. Even without the people that used to be here, they found everything a billion times more enjoyable than the empty space they once inhabited.

 

A quick look to the original copy of my watch told me that it was about three pm when we made it to the beginnings of Hotlands.

 

“Say. Have you been affected by the temps and humidity like I have been?” I asked as a drop of sweat beaded down my spine for the hundredth time. 

 

The Void Shard shook their head.

 

“Lucky. Cause up ahead is Hotlands you know.” They bobbed up and down excitedly. “Heh. Least you’ll get to enjoy it. This is gonna be all sorts of  _ fun _ .” I felt them bob even more. “Yeah yeah, laugh it up.”

 

I knew the real reason why they were excited. They wanted to see their Lab, their creation.

 

I was just hoping that both were still in one piece.

 

Hotlands was just as sweltering as I remembered. Maybe moreso. No idea why, outside of maybe not having been the whole ‘mind traversal’ thing or whatever, but it was pretty daggum hot.

 

The biggest surprise yet came from when we made it to the Lab.

 

The front doors were sealed shut, and a whole lot of the infrastructure was ripped off. In front of the building was a large metal sign:

 

**“USE THE ELEVATOR TO THE NORTH. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO THE CORE PATH. THIS LAB HAS BEEN SEALED INDEFINITELY BY ORDER OF THE KING AND EX-QUEEN. DO NOT TRESPASS.”**

 

“...Well then. I hope Alphys got what she needed out of-” I felt the oozing sensation on my shoulder again. I reached over and cupped the Tiny Being. “Sorry.”

 

They shook their head while several hand pointed out to the sign, others to the Lab, and the few others were thrown up in exasperation.

 

“Yeah, I know. I wanted to stop by in there too. But, uh, well…” I breathed in and gave the Void Being a cliffsnotes version of what happened. By the end of it they not only regained their solidity but had developed a look of both understanding and a fair bit of anger.

 

“Hey, to her credit, that was not the state she meant for them to be in. And she did reunite them with their family properly.” A pause. “Eventually.”

 

I saw them give a small (silent) harumph and turned away from me.

 

“When we get back I’ll tell her that her former teacher and… coworkers?” They nodded to that, still with their back to me. “That they said they were disappointed.”

 

They gave me a thumbs up to that and pointed back to my shoulder. To mix things up I put them on my right one instead. “You needed a change in scenery.”

 

I never thought that they would have stuck their tongue out at me, but they did. I gave a laugh to their expression and made my way to the north wackyvator as told.

 

A quick changeover later and we were in front of the MTT Resort. To be expected, even THIS place was dead.

 

“Bleh, abandoned hotels. Creepy.” I glanced over and found that the smol conglomerate agreed with me. “Rush through?” A hearty nod! “Rushing through.”

 

I bolted through the open doors, around the statue-less fountain, and into the CORE!

 

I skidded to a stop when we made it to the power area proper to catch my breath. As I did so I felt something yank on my hair.

 

“Wh-” I reached up and found it was the Void Being doing that. I looked over and found that we were right over the constant, buzzing ozone of the plant.

 

“Ohh… right.” I tried to pull them away, but as to be expected their grip was death-like. “Ow ow ow ow ow okay, I know, but ow ow.” I got them away from my head and cupped them between my hands. I scooted out of the area as quick as I could and to Mettaton’s arena.

 

Once in the elevator up I opened my hands. The Void-Touched lowered their head in apparent apology.

 

“I understand. Honest.” They twiddled several fingers and thumbs. Sometimes from mis-matching hands. “So… show of hands, how many people in you worked on the CORE?”

 

They did that hand-calculator thing from before. After a few seconds, a little over half of the pair raised up.

 

“Hm. The others were not related to the CORE at all?” They nodded once.

 

I scratched my chin with a free hand. “Did… all of you come from this ‘verse?”

 

That got me a very emphatic shake of the head.

 

“Oh. Hm. Now your wording makes sense, I guess. At any rate… I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

 

They nodded to the sentiment again. The bell above us dinged. “Top floor. Almost there.” I put them back onto my shoulder and kept walking.

 

Mettaton’s arena was just about as stripped down as everything else. Not a single camera or monitor was left. “Heee, knowing that diva, he put them up in every room of his house so he can always see himself on the big screen.”

 

I moved on and into the big elevator. “Glad this got repaired. Wonder how long that took.” I pushed the only button on the panel.

 

The doors slid shut. 

 

Aaaaand nothing happened.

 

“....Okay th-”

 

The device suddenly jostled sideways and THEN it rocketed upwards!

 

“OH GOOD GLOB NOT AGAIN!”

 

I was pressed into the floor on my stomach, and the poor Void Being was turned into a puddle next to my head.

 

What felt like twenty seconds later the thing came to an abrupt halt. I went flying up. They went flying up. We both landed with a WUMPH and a SPLAT each. Granted I imagined the splat since even THAT failed to produce a sound.

 

I shakily picked myself up as the splotch reformed themselves as well. “Owwwww why is that a FEATURE!?” Once they had shoulders to shrug they did so. “Let’s ow let’s get this last leg done, eh?”

 

Once out of the elevator I double-checked my backpack and the things within. Everything was fine, thank goodness. I pressed onwards per the usual.

 

New Home down below wasn’t as torn apart as Snowdin was, but it was definitely missing a lot of stone to each structure.

 

_ If I had to guess, I bet they tried to use up what they could here, then realized half-way that they had a  _ lot _ of available resources up top. Or they just realized what an undertaking it was. Dunno. _

 

I sped through the New Home overpass as quickly as I could walk (my legs were still jelly from the elevator funtimes, sue me) and found…

 

Asgore’s Home.

 

I felt a tiny hand on my head again. When I looked over they were wringing several of their hands together.

  
“Nope, not gonna, I already owe you five something I’m not increasing it.”

 

They made a ‘phooey’ motion with their body and mouth, and gave a pout as they turned away from me.

 

When I got into Asgore’s Home, I found that it was a stark contrast from Toriel’s. Far from taking everything that wasn’t nailed down he seemed to have just left it behind.

 

“....Hrm.”

 

I did a quick peek into the kids’ room. Their door was already open a bit so I didn’t feel too horrible looking in there.

 

The Mr. Dad Guy picture was gone, as was the dusted-over one from before. The presents on the ground were not there anymore either.

 

_ At least he kept a couple mementos. _

 

I left the door ajar as it was and quickly left the place.

 

The trip through Asgore’s Pass was far less saddening. No story told of the Children Princes doing what they did. Though…

 

I stopped at one point where I think I would have met the Loox. Something metal was planted onto the wall.  _ Did he…? _

 

With a quick brush-off the dust that had collected was blown away. Lo and behold, there was a plaque on the wall. And it read what the Loox would have said.

 

“Well. One way to keep the story alive, I guess. Dagnabbit, Asgore.” I kept my eyes peeled as I walked along. Yep. Every spot where I would have met the monsters was punctuated with a plaque either on the wall or on the floor. Each one read what the beings there would have said.

 

When I finally got to it, I took a breather at the Judgement Room. This place at least was completely unchanged.

 

Once my breath was caught again I moseyed onwards. I took a quick glance into where the coffins were stored and was not surprised to see that they had been removed.

 

_ Hopefully they got buried somewhere nice. _

 

The throne room was about as taken over by golden flowers as Waterfall had been with the Echo Flowers. I stepped around them the best I could but there was no way through without crushing at least a couple. “Think Asgore would forgive me?”

 

I got a noncommittal shrug as an answer.

 

“Yeah, he is pretty hard up with his horticulture.” I squished my way through and into the final rooms.

 

And there I was.

 

The Barrier. At least where it used to be.

 

A far cry from the plane of infinite expanse it was a rather tiny place. Barely big enough to let Asgore stand comfortably. 

 

“Wonders of magic. This place used to be bigger on the inside.”

 

I looked to the Void Being and they just gave me a confused look.

 

“If it exists on this side of the universes there’s a show I think you are going to dust for.” I winked at them and turned to the sunshine streaming through. “Least we got out before it got too late.” I checked my watch again. “Only four o’clock? Wow. Good time when you’re not having to rest every other chase.”

 

My footsteps echoed in the empty chamber. All too soon I was greeted with the sight of a sunset over a vast forested area.

 

“Just think. One year a month and a day ago, the Freed Monsters of Mt. Ebbot saw this. And now? You do too.” I plucked the Tiny Being off my shoulder and held them aloft so they could see as far as they could.

 

They didn’t move much. Or I don’t think they did seeing as my hand kept going numb every time they made contact. But when I brought them back towards me I could see that they had curled up into a ball. Small black ‘tears’ were streaming down their face.

 

“Said it once, say it again. Welcome home.”

 

They nodded fiercely and wiped away the goo. I could feel them try to breathe in and get themselves back together.

 

“Need a minute?”

 

The Void Being shook their head and pointed down to a path awaited.

 

“Good plan.” I put them back onto a shoulder and off I hiked.

 

The path wasn’t too bad. It was obvious it hadn’t been used in a while but it wasn’t horribly overgrown either. I could still pick out gouges in the ground where stuff was hauled.

 

The sun was shining. The birds were singing. And let me tell you the look on the Being’s face said that they were in absolute heaven.

 

The trek down the mountain took another couple hours. By the time I made it to the foot of the thing the sun had started to set. 

 

“I hope there’s civilization somewhere close, cause I do not have a means of camping tonight.”

 

I got a small smack to the face. “Wh-” They pointed.

 

“Oh. How’d I miss that?”

 

I was right next to a small town. “Must be getting blind or something.” They rolled their eyes. Somehow.

 

“Yeah yeah whatever. You carry me next time.” That got me another silent harumph. I just laughed.

 

When I strolled through the place I could sense the magic in the air. It wasn’t as compacted or concentrated as it was back when folks were stuffed in the mountain, but it was definitely apparent.

 

Hey is that the Bunny I-

 

OOF!

 

“Gah! Sorry about tha-”

 

We looked each other over at the same time.

 

“Y- it- you- but-!”

 

“Wow. You grew a bit.”

 

I was tackled by the armless fellow.

  
“OHMIGOSH YOU’RE BACK AND YOUR HERE AND OHMIGOSH!”

 

“Yep!” I patted them on the back. They were still in the kid phase but the short stuff had grown at least a few inches since last we met. Both in body and in head-spikes. Still couldn’t tell by voice if they were a boy or girl though but whatever.

 

“How- where- when- you’re back!”

 

“Indeedy I am. Uh, any chance I could get to the Inn? Come with but I really need to get off my feet.”

 

“OH! I CAN HELP WITH THAT!”

 

They concentrated hard on me. I was about to ask what was going on when- 

 

“URK!”

 

“I can carry you now! Look!”

 

They ran as fast as they could to the Bunny Inn while holding me aloft like a kite.

 

“KID!”

 

“I KNOW IT’S AWESOME AND YOU’RE BACK AND EVERYONE IS GONNA WANNA SEE YOU!”

 

_ Ow ow ow ow ow ow I hope they get a chance to see me! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there folks! To everyone that is continuing right along with me, Woohoo! Nice to see you again!
> 
> To those that are starting here? If you want I suppose, but there's two other stories ahead of this one. Go check them out, in order. I don't think you'll be disappointed ;)
> 
> Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumbler [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/)
> 
> The moment I have a work or somesuch for Micbunny to be linked to I shall do so.
> 
> Hope you enjoy folks, and I have quite a bit to do here.
> 
> ......What serious nothing is gonna happen.


	2. LEARN GRIP! GRIIIIIIP!

The Inn approached rapidly. Or maybe I was. Either way, the Being on my shoulder was bobbing up and down repeatedly at what I could only assume was them having a laugh at my expense.

 

The door was blown open by a burst of blue magic. At the same time I plummeted to the ground like a rock.

  
“HEY! LOOK WHO’S BACK! THEY’RE BACK! OHMIGOSH START CALLING PEOPLE THEY’RE BACK!!!”

 

I wheezed pathetically. The Void Being at least had enough sense to stop laughing and tried to lift my head up. To no avail, granted, but it was the thought that counted.

 

“Sugar, we talked about this. Don’t go slamming open our doors like that. Not ‘til you learn not to spl- oh hey, not a ding this time, good work.”

 

“Thankya ma’am! BUT! OH! WAIT! I have someone to show you!”

 

I was lifting myself off the ground when I head the shopkeep bunnylady give a chuckle. “Is it another person that thinks Undyne is awesome? Cause I get those folks at least once a week-”

 

“NO NO NO NO THIS IS WAY BETTER!”

 

There was a creak of wood and a few footsteps as I finally got upright. “All right, all right, who do you-”

 

I froze.

 

She froze.

 

Monster Kid looked like they were about to explode.

 

I rose a hand up. “Hi?”

 

The bunnylady blinked. “But… you….”

 

“I, uh, managed to find a way back.” Tiny jazz-hands deployed! “Tadah?”

 

My jazz hands were nothing to the blank look on her face. I slowly lowered my arms down and glanced over to the Kid. They were just as puzzled as I was.

 

“Are you al-urk!” I was interrupted by a fairly crushing hug from the shopkeep.

 

“Oh my goodness sugar, we thought you were gone! My sis was beside herself! Oh lordy this is amazing! You’re back! How’d you get ba- Wait, no, don’t answer that, we have so many phone calls to make! Gracious, get in here! You feel like you just walked a marathon!”

 

“I, uh, made my own personal exodus from the mountain today. Among other things, but! Yeah… wait, phonecalls?”

 

She gave me a hearty swat to the shoulder.  _ What is it with these folks swatting me there??? _

 

“You really think you’re not gonna get a welcoming committee? Even after the fact?” The shopkeep gave a massive smile to the beaming Monster Kid. “Go get crackin’, kiddo. You know who.”

 

“YES MA’AM OHMIGOSH THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!” Monster Kid was off like a shot, hootin’ and hollerin’ the whole way away.

 

“And as for you.”

 

With that tone of voice of hers I couldn’t help but give a sheepish grin.

 

“Get your butt into the inn before I tell my sister and she  _ drags _ you in here. Move it!”

 

“Yes ma’am!” I took a minute to regather my backpack and the Void-Being and rushed into the inn.

 

When I got inside I looked around. “Hey. This place looks nice.”

 

“Thanks. We worked hard to get it up to snuff.” She said to me as she closed the door behind us. “It works really well as a head of operations you know.”

 

“How expansive have you gotten?”

 

“We’re in several cities and looking to expand further with no worry about financial collapse.” The shopkeep said with a bit of pride in her voice.

 

“Holy cow.”

 

She giggled. “Stay here. I’m gonna go get my sis.” The bunnylady walked off. In the distance I could still hear Monster Kid calling off at the top of their lungs.

 

I set my backpack down on a couch and plopped down next to it.

 

“Say, uh, nudge me when they get back?” I got an inquisitive look from the Void Blob that moved to my lap. “I’m-” a yawn interrupted my thought, “-gonna rest my eyes.”

 

I think they were waving their hands rapidly or something but I didn’t catch it.

 

\---

 

“Hey.”

 

I felt something tap my shoulder. “Mmrf.”

 

“ _ Hey.” _

 

That prod came back stronger. In my half-asleep daze I tried to fight the attacker off.

 

“I. Said.  **_HEY!”_ **

 

I was lifted off the couch and into a headlock.

 

“Bwuh-huh-wha-”

 

AND THEN THE NOOGIES!   
  
“WAKE UP YOU SLACKER!”

 

“ACK PFFT HELP HELP I’M BEING REPRESSED!”

 

There was a wall-rattling guffaw and I was pulled into a rib-cracking hug.

 

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY ARE YOU ONLY NOW GETTING BACK YOU JERK!?”

 

“Lungs! Breathing! Hard!” 

 

My vision was about to darken when I was dumped onto the couch I was resting on. And nearly thrown off when the Former Captain of the Royal Guard plopped herself onto it.

 

A great big pointy yellowish smile was directed right at me. “It is AWESOME to see you again!”

 

I coughed and tried to get my lungs back into proper working order. “Awesome -cough- to see you too, Undyne.”

 

I finally got to look at her properly. She was pulling off the police-woman look perfectly with the uniform, the shiny badge, the ponytail. All of it. If anything, she looked even  _ more _ buff than when I last saw her.

 

Well, just a little. She was still a bit of beanpole.

 

A beanpole that could throw me to the nearest city.

 

“Where’d you go? Where’ve you been? You had us worried sick! AND!”

 

She prodded me so hard I think she nearly dislocated my shoulder.

 

“YOU!” Another poke. “MISSED!” A harder one. “OUR!” Right on the sternum, ow. “WEDDING!” That went right between the eyes and pushed me clear over the arm of the couch.

 

“OOF!”

 

“Ex-captain, careful ma’am!”

 

“....Fragile.”

 

I looked over from where I had landed in a heap, and behold? It was RG-01 and RG-02!

 

They were in uniform as well, though I noticed they didn’t have the same level of marks as Undyne’s did. I guess they were in a lower part of the force. Not a bad thing mind. Just like with Undyne they filled out the uniform nicely and made it look  _ awesome _ . In place of their swords were a couple of batons. Matter of fact, neither them nor Undyne had guns on their person. Neat.

 

The only odd thing was that they both still wore their helmets. It was an odd sight, but not a horrible one. Huh.

 

“Besides, we want them to be intact!”

 

“...Our wedding.”

 

My eyes went huge. “You guys too? Wow!”

 

“RG-02 here caught the bouquet!”

 

“....Proudest moment.”

 

I tried to get back up on my feet but was stymied in my efforts by Undyne. She had apparently decided that I had to be back up on the couch.

 

Upside down.

 

“Yeah! I can’t believe you caught it!” The Police-Fish laughed aloud.

 

“YOU DIDN’T MAKE IT EASY!”

 

“...Linebacker throw.”

 

I facepalmed. “Of course she did.”

 

“HEY! It was OUR wedding, OUR style! YOU do what YOU want at YOURS.”

 

The pair shared a chuckle and I found myself laughing a bit too.

 

“How’d you-?”

 

“We heard from Undyne.”

 

“....And Monster Kid.”

 

“And Kid got to me first. I had to send them home ‘cause they were so out of breath they were turning purple.”

 

I peered at Undyne. “Who all-?”

 

“Everyone.”

 

“Absolutely everyone.”

 

“...Yep.”

 

My attempts to right myself physically halted. “E-e-everyone?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“Oh dear.” I rubbed my face. “How long do I have?”

 

“Not long at all.” A familiar voice called out from the hallway.

 

I looked up.

 

“Undyne, how terrible, torturing this poor, innocent human who has done so much for us.”

 

“Pffft  _ innocent _ ? Do you not remember the moves they tried to pull! And yeah,  _ I remember your looks! _ ” Undyne nudged me. “Alphys too!”

 

I reddened so hard that I could have impersonated a tomato.

 

Toriel gave a deep giggle to the sight of my plight. She had since exchanged her purple robes for a very complementing summertime dress. No shoes of course. And she pulled off a flowered hat amazingly. And to her side, slightly hidden….

 

“Do not be shy, my child. They’re a good soul.”

 

Frisk slowly moved out from behind Toriel and gave a small wave. Even with the time I had been gone I could tell that they couldn’t have been more than maybe ten years old. They hair was cut in a cute little bob style and their brown eyes were positively anime-sized. Just like the depictions from the game, they had a slight olive complexion like you would see from someone in Asia. Heck they even had the same eye-shape. They were still wearing the striped sweater and short-pants from what I saw in their game-depiction despite the hot-ish weather that was going on outside.

 

I gave a wave and a smile. They gave their own bashful grin, the tiniest of waves, and back they went behind Toriel.

 

She gave another laugh to the interaction. “Frisk has been trying so hard to get out of her shell, but meeting new people still makes her a little nervous. That was a good attempt on her part, though.”

 

I gave a hearty nod. “Hey I’m good. Kiddo, whenever you feel up to it, we’ll meet a bit more proper, okay?”

 

The faintest “Okay” came back from behind the goat-dragon-momma. Undyne beamed.

 

“YEP! I KNEW IT! You are DEFINITELY a hero person! You’re one of the few people she talks to so quickly!”

 

I rubbed the back of my neck and I think I blushed harder too.

 

Toriel reached around and gave Frisk a head pat. That got some giggles from the kiddo.

 

“Now. Human. You have some explaining to do.” Toriel snapped so hard into serious-momma mode that I nearly got whiplash.

 

“Hey, yeah, you haven’t answered me either!”

  
“Or us.”

 

“....Didn’t ask.”

 

“I know, but I wanted to be included.”

 

“...Silly bunny.” The two nuzzled faceplates right afterwards.

 

I cleared my throat. “Well I-”

  
“ **_WOOF_ ** **!”**

 

“DON’T START WITHOUT US!”

 

“(WE DESERVE TO HEAR THIS TOO!)”

 

“YEAH!”

 

The Dog Pack piled into the room next and nearly bowled over Toriel in the process. Strangely enough the goat-dragon-momma and her child both seemed used to the madness and simply stepped out of the way.

 

Greater Dog was leading the Pack, completely outfitted in his normal armor-mecha-suit-thing he used but there was something over it. I didn’t get a good look as to what before Dogamy and Dogaressa took center stage. They had also swapped their robes from the Guard days for something more pedestrian. And uniformish. Again I was blocked when Lesser Dog and Doggo clambered for attention. They too were wearing the same kinda stuff. 

 

I craned my neck and tried to read what was up on their attire when Greater Dog bounded forth and….

 

Licked me straight on the cheek. 

 

“ACK BLEH SLOBBER LEVELS AT MAXIMUM!”

 

There was a round of laughter from everyone (even a small laugh from Frisk) while I tried wipe the drool off my face. I finally got a good look at what their clothes said though.

 

“Oh wow! You guys joined the fire department?”

 

“Yes! We did!” Dogamy beamed.

 

“(They have accepted us so well it’s amazing!)” Dogaressa piped in with an equally proud smile on her face.

 

“People tend to panic when things are going south, so I can see them real easily!” Doggo bragged.

 

“ **WOOF!”** Was Greater Dog’s contribution. Lesser Dog just panted heavily.

 

“Holy crud. That’s awesome, you guys!” I tried to get up off the couch but Undyne pulled me back down.

 

“Don’t make me hold you down, buster! YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO!”

 

I started to protest but it was drowned out by another chorus of demands.

 

“Yeah, tell us!”

 

“ **WOOF!** ”

 

“And pet us!”

 

“(Yes, we want the scritches again!)”

 

“Hey, yeah, me too!”

 

“ **WOOF!** ”

 

Toriel huffed and put her hands on her hips (I could see Frisk behind her doing the same thing). “Now really! It is  _ quite _ obvious that they are very exhausted from their trip.”

 

I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you T-”

 

“So we must strap them to a bed to make sure they don’t escape before our interrogations tomorrow.”

 

My face went from that bright red to a stark white as it drained from my face and into my stomach.

 

Everyone cheered and agreed to the suggestion. I barely had a chance to protest when I felt myself be lifted off the couch by so many furry and one pair of fishy hands. “Wait no you can’t be serious!”

 

“DARN TOOTIN’ WE’RE SERIOUS!”

 

They marched me out of the room and to the front desk.

 

“Hey, has the prisoner got a room tonight?”

 

I heard the innkeep bunnylady giggle. “Upstairs, third floor, second door on the right.”

 

“TO THE ROOM WITH THEM!”

 

There was a chorus of agreement and cheers as I was carted away.

 

“Nooooooooo!” I protested, but my exhaustion from the trip had neutered my attempts before I could even start. Meanwhile Mini-Voidy decided to park on my chest and just  _ stare _ .

 

They carried me right up to the room and in a coordinated effort I was, in fact, strapped to a bed. Toriel took a moment to put the covers over me.

 

“Leave the feet open?”

 

She chuckled and did so.

 

“We’ll be back for you in the morning. Sleep well!”

 

“Whyyyyyyy…”

 

Toriel laughed again and closed the door behind her.

 

Which left me alone with the Void Being.

 

Who just. Kept.  _ STARING. _

 

“What?”

 

Nothing.

 

“.....What?”

 

Still nothing.

 

My left eye twitched

 

_ “What??? _ ”

 

Their laughter-bobbing started a-fresh and they pretty much turned into a puddle in the process.

 

\---

 

Despite my protests (mediocre as they were), I really did need the sleep. I must have dozed off hard. When I finally awoke, the sun was streaming into the room and was threatening to beam straight into my eyes.

 

“Nooooo. Horrible fate, sunlight in the eyes.”

 

I felt my chest go numb again. I looked down and there was the Void Being. “Morning to you too. Get some sleep?”

 

They gave a noncommittal shrug.

 

“Not a good thing if you don’t sleep you know.”

 

A few hands raised up and seemed to brush me off. A couple others pushed them back down.

 

“Hah, see, some of you agrees with me.”

 

The door handle clicked. I looked over.

 

“Good morning,” said the bunny innkeep.

 

“Good morning! Can I be let go? I need to move for various reasons.”

 

She just giggled. “Nope, under orders from the ex-Queen to keep you put until the interrogation preparation is finished.”

 

“But-”

 

“Nope.”

 

“But-”

 

“I said no, human.” She said with another giggle.

 

“But-!”

 

“Yours is staying put. For about an hour longer, I think.”

 

I deflated a little. “Okay, okay. I think I can make it.”

 

She padded over to where I was detained and patted me on the head. “It really is amazing to see you again. My sister was beside herself when we found out you had disappeared.”

 

I blinked (not that I could do much more than that). “She said the same thing about you.”

 

“Did she now. How unusual.”

 

“How’s the family?”

 

She pulled over one of the chairs she had in the room. “The kids have been doing wonderfully. My cousins have spread quite a distance thanks to the business, but we keep in touch. Overall? We are extremely grateful every day for what you helped make possible.”

 

Blood raced to my face again. “I didn’t-”

 

“Yes. You did. A lot. And many people have a great deal to thank you for. So, please? Stop denying it.”

 

“But I only denied it once?”

 

She shook her head. “No, you’ve been denying it since before you even disappeared, hun. You’ve done a lot of good and you need to let yourself enjoy the victory.”

 

A watery smile crept up on my face. “Well… okay. If you say so.”

 

“Considering I have the key that can get you free, darn tootin’ I say so.” The bunny innkeep gave me a wink. “Who were you talking to?”

 

“Huh?”

 

She thumbed over towards the door. “Before I came in I heard you talking to someone. Who?”

 

I nodded down to my chest. “You can’t see them?”

 

The bunnylady glanced to where I nodded then shook her head. “I am afraid not, hun.”

 

I felt the Void Being puddle right about then and I couldn’t reach up to reassure them.

 

“I know this might sound weird, but there was a being who helped me get back here. They did a lot and sacrificed just as much to do so. And thanks to some odd shenanigans they managed to slip a piece of themselves into this side of existing. It’s thanks to them that I even got the chance to be tied down by the friends I helped rescue.”

 

She gave a reluctant chuckle to my last words but gave me a concerned look nonetheless.

 

“It’s true. They’re right here, on my chest, and hearing everything.”

 

The bunnylady was quiet for a while. I was about to ask her something else when she breathed in deep.

 

“Well. If what you say is true…” She looked to my chest (and about two inches off where the Void Being actually was). “Thank you. If you are in fact hearing me, then I thank you for bringing our dear human back to m- our home.”

 

I glanced down and saw that the Void Being was curled up into a grey ball yet again.

 

She got up out of her chair, pushed aside a curtain, and looked outside. “Oh looks like they are nearly complete with their plan of attack. Best prepare yourself, human.”

 

The cockiest grin I could muster in my current state manifested on my face. “Ma’am, I have taken on and successfully dodged, run, and fled from them all. Bring it!”

 

She laughed again and patted my forehead. “So you say, human. So you say.”

 

The bunny innkeep unlocked my straps. I was about to get up when she pressed me back down and shook her head. “Wait five minutes. Please?”

 

“Oh alright, I suppose.”

 

A warm smile crossed her face in response and she made her way to the door. Just when I thought she was gone the door opened just a little again.

 

“I really am happy that you came back. My sis is too. It is wonderful to see you again, hun.” She clicked the door shut and left me be.

 

I patted the Void-Being on the head with my slowly waking-up arms. They uncurled a little. 

 

“I think I might be able to talk to folks about ya. We’ll get ya noticed again.”

 

They stood up as straight as they could and nodded once. I think there was a small smile on their face.

 

“Welp. Come on. Might as well see what they have planned, eh?” They nodded again and pointed to a shoulder. I put them on the other one. When I looked over they had stuck their tongue out at me again.

 

When I headed down the stairs the place was quiet. Dead quiet. I didn’t even hear noise outside.

 

“Wow. She must have gone all out on the sound proofing.” There was a beat. “Right?”

 

I looked to my occupied shoulder and got a shrug.

 

My loneliness (save for the Void Being of course) was ended when I was greeted by Toriel. And Frisk.

 

Toriel wore the most serious, most utterly terrifying face I think she could pull off and not be in a battle to the death. Or talking to Asgore.

  
Frisk wore the exact same expression with the exact opposite result.

 

They were both in matching attire; Toriel had switched back to her formal robes and Frisk was wearing a mini-set of them herself.

  
“So. Human.”

 

“M-ma’am?”

 

She crossed her arms. Frisk did too.

 

“You have a lot to answer for.”

 

I was starting to worry that the interrogation thing was real. “Y-y-you don’t say.”

 

Toriel stepped forward thrice and nearly crossed the whole of our distance apart. Frisk had to take at least five times as much to do so but kept the same serious expression the whole time.

 

“I do say. And as Ex-Queen under the mountain,” She started before she picked my up by my collar and dragged me to the door, “I command you to start talking to these beings.”

 

The Goat-Dragon-Mother-Queen ripped open the doors and tossed me over the threshold. I had barely landed when I heard:

 

**_“HELLO HUMAN! WELCOME BACK!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a doozy!
> 
> I have to say, I love working without the original rails. It feels liberating.
> 
> I just hope to get the voices right, even now.
> 
> By the way! Micbunny has gotten her own story started! I know right? Here it be: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). Please give it a read-over. It looks to be fun. :D
> 
> She's helped me tons with writing, and she's awesome at the craft herself. 
> 
>  
> 
> Here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) And BOY has it exploded lately! Keep it up folks! :D
> 
> Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	3. Arms Are Still a Little Numb

Dozens of monsters stood before me. Some with signs, some with pies, some with pies on their signs, all of them with massive happy grins on their faces.

 

“Holy cow…”

 

“I am so sorry. I was told that such a manner would be hilarious. And indeed, it was!” Toriel helped me up to my feet with a chuckle. Frisk gave a giggle as I was accidentally lifted clear off the ground.

 

“Careful you don’t hurt them! Wa ha ha!” Gerson called out.

 

I couldn’t move. Everyone was just staring at me. Granted not in an angry way but I was still the center of attention.

 

“Uh… hi?”

 

A chorus of “hello”, “hi”, “greetings” and a single late “salutations” washed over me soon after. It was, uh, it was a little hard to comprehend.

 

“So. Uhm. I’m back?”

 

“We can see that! Wa ha ha!” Gerson heckled goodnaturedly. Several of the monsters surrounding the area gave a laugh.

 

I had never seen so many different types, even with all the fanart out there. Flaming snails, bunnypeople, a couple other skeletons, turtles, a water elemental, I think there was a  _ plasma _ elemental too, kids of all ages, elephants, lions, the bears from Snowdin, mice… I couldn’t even see them all!

 

“W-wow. Heckuva greeting committee.” I rubbed the back of my neck.

 

A Whimsum spoke up from behind a Whimsalot. “We had to see the human that got us out.”

 

“We had to see that you were safe!” A Frogit atop a Final Frogit chimed in.

 

“I just wanted to be a part of the crowd.” A Migosp added.

 

“Uh… wow. Thank you.” I felt my face heating up yet again.

 

“No! Thank you!”

 

“We’re free!”

 

“Humanity likes us!”

 

“Only a little struggle at the beginning!”

 

“We were able to trust folks so quickly!”

 

“I am getting tired of holding this pie.”

 

“We got so sad when we heard you didn’t get to join us…”

 

“Now you’re back!”

 

As one the crowd crowed:  **_“Welcome back, Human!”_ **

 

I was nearly knocked off my feet from the volume and the feels. Fortunately Toriel helped me stand my ground.

 

“Huh...uhm, wow, I sound like a broken record, but still. Thank you. I really didn’t expect this kind of a crowd.”

 

“Well we didn’t expect your kind of a human, so get used to it! Wa ha ha!”

 

“You’re in a rare mood today.” I shot back with a grin.

 

“I’m old, I’m allowed to be! Wa ha ha!”

 

I laughed with the crowd at that. “Okay, okay, fair enough. So. Uhm. Where to begin…”

 

“Not here!”

 

I blinked. “Wha-”

 

“Get the human!”

 

“Yes! Must capture!”

 

“.....What!?”

 

The monsters swarmed all at once! Well, those without pies anyways. The ones with signs with pies on them joined in.

 

I tried to back off but Toriel and Frisk stopped me. Tori got me by the shoulders, Frisky got the calves. In a moment I was snatched up and carried away!

 

“Curses! Foiled again! The Monsters have succeeded in the Human Capture attempt!”

 

Laughter echoed through the town as I was carried away from the main burg and into a park. I was set down gently soon enough on an old wooden chair. In moments (almost like magic) the whole of the park was filled with tables, benches, cloths, plates… And yes. Lots and LOTS of foods.

 

“Wow. Short notice super party?” I asked to Toriel. She shook her head.

 

“No, we had actually planned a party today anyways for the sake of things. Turns out you just have impeccable timing.”

 

“Huh. Neat.”

 

I double checked my shoulder. To my relief the Void Being had managed to keep ahold despite the chaos.

 

They were ignoring me in favor of the multitudes of monsters present. Several hands pointed out while others waved as though to catch their attention. No one noticed of course but Voidy didn’t seem all that perturbed about it. They were just too happy to see others of their own kind I guessed.

 

With all the other beings running around for prep (or just plain running around in the case of the children. Frisk joined in with their shenanigans with a nod of approval from Toriel) it left Toriel and myself alone at what appeared to be the main table.

 

“Toriel?”

 

“Yes?”

 

I motioned to the mountains of potato salad. “How much of that is monster-style?”

 

She glanced at the piles. “Almost all of it. We have found that while we can eat human-made food, monster food goes down easier for most of us. Not to mention that monster-made has become rather popular among humans.”

 

“Okay, good.” Toriel gave me a concerned look. “I will likely explain why later, but right now, I have to stick to a monster-food diet. The internal means to digest human-made has been removed.”

 

“Oh dear. Do you-”

 

“No no, I’m good. Just have to be careful is all.”

 

She gave me a hard look. I think my hair was about to be set aflame when she finally relented.

 

“Very well. But I am going to be keeping an eye on you.”

 

I grinned. “Miss Toriel, if you didn’t I’d be very worried.”

 

Toriel gave a laugh and patted me on the head. “I am going to go help with preparations. Please relax in the meantime.” Off she walked.

 

After less than two minutes I tried to get up and out of my seat only be interrupted by Gerson.

 

A wheelchair bound Gerson.

 

“That’s new.”

 

“Heck, hardly! I’ve been in this thing for half a year now! Legs ain’t what they used ta be, ya know? Wa ha ha!” He slapped the handle of his chair as he guffawed. “Ahhh but my arms are still good! So! You been away. Where ya been, hm?”

 

“I think I’m gonna be the main source of entertainment tonight with that story. So no spoilers, even for you old-timer.”

 

“BAH! Old timer, huh? Fine, I can handle a bit of waiting for a story.” His good eye narrowed a little. “Waited pretty long to get a chance to be out here again, after all.”

 

I coughed a little uncomfortably at that.

 

“Baaahhhh, that’s not a dig on you. I’m grateful. Everyone is. Even if they’re a little over the top about it.” The old tortoise waved out to the crowd. “They’re free like they always dreamed about. Heck in a few years there’ll be little’uns that won’t even remember an Underground as anything more than a story from their families. And you get to be the hero of it all.”

 

“Hoo dear. But I wasn’t the only one involved.”

 

He cackled again. “Yeah, we here know that. But stories have a way of condensing down over time. Like with the Runes and the Angel. Mark my words: you’re gonna be a folk hero for a long, long time.”

 

“That… that is going to be interesting.”

 

Gerson laughed some more. “Jus’ don’t let it get to yer head. You’ll be fine. ‘Sides, have other things to worry about I reckon.”

 

I raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

 

“Like them.” He pointed behind me. I turned in my chair to look.

 

I didn’t see much more than a yellow blur that tackled me so hard that I was knocked clean out of my chair and onto my back.

 

“OOF!”

 

“W-w-w-w-wow! It’s you! I-i-i-it’s really you!” Alphys must have picked up on Undyne’s rib-cracking hug ability. “I-I-I-I would have b-b-been with the crowd but I w-w-w-was busy!”

 

“Alphys! Good to see you too, girl!” She helped me on my feet. Which was apparently a trap to hug me again.

 

“I’m j-j-just so happy! AND!” She swatted me on the upper part of my arm “YOU!” Swat! “MISSED!” That swat made me lose some feeling in my arm. “OUR!” She swatted the other arm for variety at least. “WEDDING!”

 

“Ow ow ow ow ow yes Undyne’s already poked me to death about it!” I protested.

 

“NOT NEARLY ENOUGH I SAY!” Said blue-scaled amazon piped up from behind her wife. Alphys had put her hands on her hips and was ‘glaring’ right up at me.

 

“I’m… sorry?”

 

Yes, she had most definitely started to gather power from Undyne. Alphys glared so hard I thought I was gonna burst into flames. Again. What is with these monster-gals and their heat-vision?

 

The lizard-dino-scientist finally relented with a sigh. “Fine, you’re forgiven.  _ For now _ .”

 

Undyne guffawed loud enough to rattle the leaves in the tree above us.

 

With the danger now passed I noticed that Alphys was in a very nice floaty sundress that matched up with her scales perfectly. She was even wearing sandals under her talons to complete the look. No hat though.

 

Undyne was wearing almost the same thing, except it matched  _ her _ scales of course.  She had replaced the sandals with boots though. And yet, somehow? The look fit for her.

 

“Off day for you, Undyne?”

 

“Yep! Lucky for me too, seeing as we just had our honeymoon a couple weeks ago!”

 

“Oh nice. Where’d you two go?”

 

Alphys giggled. “N-n-nowhere. We just s-s-stayed home and binge-watched sooooo much anime.”

 

“Huh. Staycation.”

 

“N-n-nope. Just don’t like traveling m-m-much.”

 

We shared a laugh at that. Gerson gave his signature “Wa ha ha!” and rolled off to one of the buffets.

 

“Undyne?”

 

“WHAT?!”   
  
“I know I didn’t answer you yesterday, but I will today.”

 

“ABOUT FREAKING TI-!”

 

I held up a finger. “When I answer the question on everyone’s mind at the same time.”

 

Alphys put her hands to her mouth to prevent her giggles from spilling out. We both stared at Undyne. She looked about ready to suplex me with a few boulders besides.

 

“That. Is. WONDERFUL. I can. Wait. HONEST.”

 

She stomped away and left boot-prints in the turf as she did so. Alphys tugged on my sleeve.

 

“S-she really can’t. She was up a-a-all night wondering. Came u-u-up with all sorts of w-w-w-weird theories.” Alphys said with a trollish grin on her face.

 

“Didn’t hear it from you though, right?”

 

“H-h-hear what, I said n-n-nothing.” The dino lady said with a smirk. She shuffled off after her wife and partner in crime. Busting. Crime busting.

 

Time slipped by so fast. What used to be late-ish morning became noon then slipped into proper afternoon. Monster after monster said their hellos and thank yous. I got a chance to try out many different kinds of monster foods in the process. I loved their version of mashed potatoes, those little cocktail weenies in barbeque sauce, and the best thing of all?

 

“Grillby you magnificent S. O. B. you’re providing the burgers?”

 

The fire elemental gave me a slow nod and flipped several patties at the same time. “...It’s a good advertising chance. Give back to the community. Also, thank you.”

 

“I am getting that all d-”

 

“...For the advertising. Business skyrocketed.”

 

“Oh? Oh! When I did the thing with…?” He nodded. “With Mettaton on the show?” Grillby nodded harder.

 

“Huh! Glad to know I helped! Have to admit, it was a bit of an accident.”

 

“....Happy accident. Thank you anyways.”

 

I gave a grin to the barkeep-cook, and he gave me a nice well-done burger. I took my meal to a table and plopped myself down.

 

“Say Toriel?”

 

The goat-dragon-momma looked up to me and away from her own plate of hotdogs and chips.  Frisk was right next to her and was forlornly poking at a spread of grilled vegetables.

 

“Hm?”

 

“I think we’re short a few people. First off, the Temmies? Woulda thought they would have been the first folks here.”

 

She giggled deeply. “I am quite sure they are on their way, but Temmies always have their own perception of time.”

 

“...Makes sense.” A burger bite take. OH MY GLOB it was just as good now as it was back then! “Ohhh man. Ahem, anyways, other humans?”

 

“They usually join in on our events, but it was unanimously decided for a monster-only affair, if just so that we could chat in our way and not risk anyone getting hurt.” She made a motion to something behind me. When I looked I saw a pair of Moldysmols and a Final Frogit trading bullets.

 

“Ah, right, the bullet communication thing. Bet that freaked people out, huh?”

 

Toriel nodded as she added some salt and pepper to Frisk’s summer squash. A tentative nibble later and the kiddo was practically inhaling the vegetables.

 

“It did at first, but once we explained the cultural significance behind everything the feelings faded. For the most part. A few times folks accidentally got a thank you bullet to the face and ‘freaked out’ as it were. No one was harmed, but we did make a choice overall to keep friendly bullets to ourselves for the time being.”

 

I have a conceding head-tilt to that. “At the risk of things… Asgore?”

 

To her credit Toriel didn’t stiffen near as much as I thought she would. If anything she seemed to deflate.

 

“I am afraid that Asgore will not be joining us. For any event in the foreseeable future.”

 

I slowly put my burger down. “If I may ask-?”

 

“Not now. Rest assured, he is fine. He is simply… not with us.”

 

I wasn’t completely assured but when Toriel gave a swift glance to Frisk (who had started on Toriel’s share of squash now) I got the message. “Alrighty. Last and certainly not least: sans and Papyrus?”

 

The ex-Queen looked around. “This is unusual. sans hardly passes up a chance for free food, even if there’s a crowd involved. And Papyrus is usually in the thick of things with his fans. You are right, it is most unusual that they are not here. Frisk, my child, if you want more there is plenty waiting,” she gently chided. The little girl giggled and was off like a shot (with Toriel’s plate no less).

 

“Oh that rapscallion. Always trying to find ways-”

 

“To get your goat?” I finished without thinking. And immediately slapped my hands over my mouth.

 

There was a looooooong pause. Then finally Toriel started cracking up and repeatedly slammed the table with her fist.

  
“It has been  _ years _ since anyone had said that to me! Ohhhhh my stars and heavens!” She kept laughing so hard that it got the attention of folks all around.

 

I chuckled with her (mostly out of nerves) and double checked around myself in the meantime. Like my searches before, there wasn’t a Bony Bro in sight.

 

When I turned back to my plate I found that not only was Toriel gone but that the Void Being had decided they wanted to try a cocktail weenie. They struggled with the sausage that, to someone of their size, was more of a log than a finger food.

 

“Here, I got this.” I took a fork and knife and cut the meat into tiny chunks. “That better?”

 

They nodded happily and tucked into the cutlets.

 

The sun sank into the trees as the afternoon threatened to turn into evening. I was about to snag a pie-slice at long last when I felt a familiar pair of huge fuzzy paws grip me ‘round the middle.

 

“Come, human, it is time for your story.”

 

_ Hoh boy. _

 

I was rather unceremoniously hauled over a shoulder and taken to the center of the park. Which, incidentally…

 

“Oh holy crudballs is that… me?”

 

Toriel nodded. “You. And Asriel.”

 

I looked it over from where I was set down. True to what sans told me, it was me and Asriel hugging. I was kneeling down, with my head on his shoulders and his head on mine. He was holding a few flowers in one hand. I was holding a frying pan in mine.

 

And on my metal wrist was my destroyed watch. Between our depictions was my pair of blown out black shoes. My depleted magical items that saved my life so many times over.

 

I would have spent more time staring at it but I was gently guided away from the memorial and to another bigger chair. It was considerably more comfortable than the one I was plopped on earlier today.

 

The tables and benches of the day were swapped out with a field of quilts and blankets. Everyone was getting comfortable and ready for the story of the night.

 

Once everyone was comfortable, Toriel cleared her throat. “Where is-?”

 

**“Right over here, your Majesty.”** A robotic voice rang out. Mettaton in his classic form wheeled out from around the statue’s base. He was holding a cordless microphone and stand.  **“I know, I know, I am soooo fashionably late, Darling. My flight was delayed rather** **_horribly,_ ** **but I made it in time to see you! Oh it’s wonderful!”**

 

He set the stand down and made a show of hugging me rather close. I heard several whistles from the crowd. Mettaton whispered to me,  **“I still remember my dates, Darling. I plan on making you cash them in as soon as you are able.”**

 

With that threat-slash-promise made, Mettaton backed off and waved to the crowd. They cheered and hollered.

 

“Yes, yes, thank you Mettaton. But if you would please take your seat?”

 

“He can, like, have mine!”

 

“Catty!”

 

“What?”

 

Toriel sighed and waited out the crowd’s laughter. Once folks had settled down, including Mettaton taking a seat next to his two biggest fans (Bratty and Catty looked just about ready to dust then and there) Toriel cleared her throat and spoke:

 

“While today is not quite the anniversary of our freedom from the Underground, it is a day to be joyous. As is every day since the end of our imprisonment. After so much struggle, heartache, and sadly loss on both sides, Humans and Monsters are now able to mingle with one another peacefully, just as we had always wanted. But we did not get there alone. Thanks to the efforts of a human that fell into our world and into our lives, they risked themselves and made it their mission to get us out into the world. After many trials, chases, dancing, flirting, finger guns, and a slew of puns, they managed to make it to the King.”

 

Toriel took a deep breath and soldiered on.

 

“They fought for us and ourselves. They fought to help the King see the light. And they succeeded. In spite of the injuries they sustained, the words that were slung, they succeeded.

 

“Through all this, a small flower known as Flowey followed them. A spiteful being, SOULless through no fault of their own, they felt nothing in their heart. At the cusp of victory, they were determined to undermine everything. After… an event that I am unsure of the details for…” She shook her head. “They engaged the poor creature. Our SOULS were rescued twice over. As was…” Toriel took a moment to look up to the statue. As did everyone else gathered. “Our son, Asriel. The true form of Flowey. In an act of kindness that resonated into everyone that day, the human reminded them of who they are. And… and…”

 

Toriel gave a sniff. Frisk, ever at her side, patted her lightly on the hip. A firemaker lightly ruffled her hair in response.

 

“And allowed them to pass on fully. With Asriel’s last great act, the Barrier was shattered, and we were free.

 

“But when we came to our senses, we found that our hero had disappeared. All that was left was their magical articles that they had become so well known for.

 

“We shed our tears and we moved on. We grew. And now?” Toriel waved a paw to me. I gave a small wave as every pair of eyes there (and some extras besides) were directed at me. “They have returned!”

 

The crowd exploded into cheers. And a few bullets to the air besides.

 

Toriel waited out their cries of happiness. She was about to start talking again when a whistle cut through the air again. While folks broke out into laughter again Toriel wagged her finger at the bunny shopkeep. She just laughed while her sister gave her a hearty swat to the shoulder.

 

“If we’re quite finished?”

 

**_“Yes Miss Toriel.”_ **

 

_ Wow, that was different. _

 

“Good. Now…” Toriel picked up the stand and set it before me. “The human has their own story to tell.”

 

She lowered the microphone down to my level and stepped away to her spot in the crowd.

 

_ Hoo boy. _

 

“Uh… hi everybody.”

 

**_“Hi Dr. Nick!”_ **

 

“Holy cow you folks found the Simpsons?”

 

There was laughter and general agreements to my question.

 

“So. Right. Well, I’ll be honest. My story starts off at home. After the battle between Asriel and myself I found myself in my bed. It… it was like nothing had happened. I was… I was very…. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I was blessed with a message from a friend so I was assured that it wasn’t just a dream. But I was still away from here.

 

“Now don’t get me wrong, I love the world I came from. Or at least I love the people I was around. I was doing well at my job, my parents were good folks and loved me back, and I had many friends.

 

“But after my adventure in the Underground, everything was just… lacking.”

 

I sighed. It hurt to think about how down I was at that time. Hurt even more when I thought about how I was affecting my friends and family then too.

 

“Despite this, I moved on too. I thought about this place a lot but I got my life back to somewhat normalcy. I was getting back into the swing of things. Friends were warming back up to me, family was getting less worried for me.

  
“And then… I was contacted.”

 

There was a rumble among the monsters.

 

“I thought it was impossible. But a being between the worlds made their presence known to me. They told me of a way to come back, to be among you again. They gave me the choice to do so.

 

“And what a choice it was. I could come back to this side of the universes, among you wonderful monsters, your magic, the peace, the sheer  _ difference _ in how things worked. But in doing so I would leave my old life behind completely. Friends, family, pets, job and career. Gone.

 

“It was a difficult decision. I thought about it every day for… I don’t know how long. Another beam of light in my life, a friend named larry, gave me the nudge I needed. She listened to me, even if she didn’t quite believe me. She suggested a means to make things right if I did leave.”

 

I took a deep breath. “But not everything was going so swimmingly. A darker being, a  _ thing _ , tried to get me to return… but not to rejoin you but to restart  _ everything. _ ”

 

A collective gasp rolled through the people before me. I saw Toriel put her hand to her chest while her free arm wrapped around Frisk and held her close.

 

“I refused. But they kept making their presence known. Right up to the last moment.

 

“When I had made my decision and met up with my benefactor, the devil decided to spring up and tried to ruin everything. My benefactor sprung to my defense, wanting so bad to let me come back here. They were once like you, you see. A monster. Infact, thanks to the means that they ended up in the Void, they were several monsters. They were unable to return themselves, but when they saw what I had done to get you free, with a single chance to get back, they wanted me to take it. And they gave up their self to make it happen. The devil figured out what was going on and tore them to shreds.

 

“At the very last moment, a small piece of them gave me the key to my return.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out Papyrus’ old phone. I heard two gasps in the crowd.

 

“That’s-!”

 

“MY OLD PHONE! YOUR PHONE!”

 

The crowd turned as one to the last arrivals of the night. 

 

Papyrus, still in his uniform.

 

And a star-struck sans, still clad in hoodie but well dressed otherwise.

 

“That’s right. Thanks to your kindness, to Alphys’ work, to so many memories made and intents poured through it, this phone gave me the chance to come back to this wonderful place. And not just me.”

 

I let the crowd murmur to themselves as I nudged the Void Being into my hand. I held them aloft.

 

“You may not believe me. You definitely can’t see them. But they are here. I have a shard of the being that saved me and helped me return. Thanks to your kindness and theirs, they have escaped their prison. Not all of them belongs to this universe, but they are willing to call it home. It is them we have to thank.”

 

The silence was thick enough that I swear I saw a knife float in mid-air. Wait, no, that was Mad Dummy next to Silent Dummy pointing their only knife at my empty hand.

 

The poor Void Being had nearly melted again when-

 

**_“THANK YOU AND WELCOME HOME, FRIEND!”_ **

 

I saw several hands reach up to the Void Being’s face while pretty much the rest of the others flailed around.

 

“Thank you. They… they really,  _ really _ appreciate that.”

 

The folks watching laughed good naturedly again.

 

“The trip up through the Underground was kinda uneventful. But I did meet up with the Snowman. They’re doing well, by the by. It was quite the shock to see Snowdin as gone as it was. I mean. Straight up GONE. Did everything come out here?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Pretty much!”

 

“...We needed the materials.”

 

“We had to preserve our culture!”

 

I laughed. “Okay, yeah, makes sense. Heh. It was weird to pass by all those puzzles undone. Labs abandoned.” Alphy shuffled in Undyne’s lap uncomfortably. Toriel did the same in her own spot. I heard a distorted “ **W** _ o _ **o** _ F!” _ near where the Pack had sat down.

 

“Soon enough I was in town. And who ran into me but Monster Kid?”

 

“ME! I DID THAT!”

 

“Yes you did, kiddo. They picked me up and took me to the Inn. And, uh, well, you folks know the rest.” I finished up a little lamely. My now sore arm lowered down and I set the curled-up Voidy onto my lap.

 

There was a clap. Followed by a second. Then many. Then  _ everyone _ .

 

I grinned so wide that my cheeks hurt.

 

The Void Being curled up into a ball so hard they fell off my knee and splatted onto the ground.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually a fun one to write out. And it was actually pretty easy to write save a few spots! It was nice :D
> 
>  
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). Please give it a read-over. It looks to be fun, and she's plotting out how to get things going along. :D
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) And BOY has it exploded lately! Keep it up folks! And I bet she is going to kill me for all the backlog she is gaining from all this. MWAHAHAHA... wait.
> 
> Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	4. Malleable Ain't They?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7SkyDragon, I blame you ;)

I took a few moments to gather up the Void Being from where they hit the ground. “Dare say you were a bit accepted, eh?”

 

They nodded fervently and pointed to the crowd. I think they were jabbering away at a million miles an hour too, but still couldn’t hear them. I gave a small laugh at the sight and hefted them onto my shoulder again.

 

“So. Uh. Yeah. That’s it folks. Not sure what else to say other than… where’s the pie?” 

 

The gathered monsters chuckled and started to gather their quilts and things. A few families left for the night, owing to their younger kiddos. The majority of the folks stayed though.

 

“so. back, huh?”

 

I looked to my left and there was a sans.

 

“Yep! I’ll be able to talk about the way-how better in private. Anyways… you two were late! From what I heard from Toriel, you’d have been first in line.”

 

“YES! OUR MOST SINCERE APOLOGIES! BUT WE HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON!” Papyrus piped up as he basically vaulted over the crowd. “WORK WENT A BIT LATE. I HELPED TALK A FELLOW DOWN FROM MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!”

 

My eyebrows went way up at that.

 

“YES! I PREVENTED THE TERRIBLE ERROR THAT WAS JAYWALKING!”

 

_ Oh phew. _

 

“AND, RATHER SADLY, HAD TO TALK HIM DOWN FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE.” Papyrus said in a somber voice. My jaw went a fair bit slack and the Void Being on my shoulder stood up straight for that.

 

“HE WAS IN A BAD PLACE AND A BAD TIME, BUT I GOT HIM TO LOOK AT THINGS A DIFFERENT WAY. IT TOOK NEARLY EIGHT HOURS BUT I DID IT! I DID NOT GIVE UP ON HIM! AND NOW HE WON’T GIVE UP ON HIMSELF.”

 

“paps was using me as an example but couldn’t leave to get me. so i was playing coach and voice of inspiration over a phone,” sans added. Somehow he had acquired a burger, with a decent amount of ketchup on it.

 

“SANS’ UNFORTUNATE YET FORTUNATE FORAY INTO THE WORLD OF PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP WAS A BLESSING TODAY!”  Papyrus declared with a pat to his brother’s shoulder. sans’ permanent smile went a little brighter.

 

“Congrats to that, and I hope it sticks,” I said with a grin to the Bone Bros. “You part of the force, sans?”

 

“nah, today was a special case. I’m actually… heh. nah, can’t tell ya here. but i got a feeling you are gonna be talkin’ to the main group soon enough about things?” sans asked with a sly look in his eyelights.

 

“Heh. Perceptive as ever. Yeah I got a few things to talk to folks about, and not crowd-folks type stuff.”

 

“THEN WE SHALL DISCUSS IT THEN! UNTIL THAT TIME, I MUST BID YOU BOTH ADIEU AND JOIN IN ON THE VICTUALS THAT REMAIN! I AM STARVING!”

 

“i can tell. you’re nothing but bones.”

 

“SAAAAAAANS! THAT WAS YOUR ONE TODAY!”

 

“fair enough. thanks paps.”

 

“YOU ARE WELCOME BROTHER!” And with that Papyrus jumped away, led into a perfect handspring, and vaulted over to the buffet tables.

 

“He really looks good in uniform.” I noted aloud.

 

“he does the colors proud, and them him. he’s got three and he presses them every day. my brother is still the coolest ever,” sans said with a look of pride on his face.

 

The smaller skelebro nodded his skull away from the crowds and led me to the opposite side of the statue. I followed along. The Void Being tapped my face. When I looked over they were grinning from ear to nonexistent ear and motioning wildly.

 

“The friend on my shoulder is happy to see you, by the by.”

 

“huh. really? good to know.” 

 

We stopped a short ways away from the statue. Far enough away to not be heard, but close enough to be seen. Just in case.

 

“gonna take a guess and say that my message went through.”

 

I nodded hard. “Yep. It helped a lot. Even almost convinced larry that this was- is all real.”

 

“good. i was both worried and hopeful. hard to be, some days, but that day i really was.”

 

“Hey, no more RESETs. I made sure of it.”

 

sans’ eyes drooped a little as his smile went softer. “i’m fairly sure of it too. doesn’t stop me from worryin’ some days, ya know?”

 

“I know.” I noticed a park bench nearby and thumbed over to it. We planted ourselves on the wood bars with a sigh.

 

“How’s things been going for ya?”

 

“been okay. still seeing my head-doctor, but she’s reduced our visits from weekly to bi-weekly. it’s nice. she finally got her head wrapped around the whole deja vu thing and we both made a few breakthroughs. there are still some sour days, but paps is right there to help me along.”

 

As he spoke the Void Being took their chance to slip down my chest and onto my lap. Soon after they were on the bench and sitting between us.

 

“other than that, i’m okay.” he breathed in deep. “i’m okay.”

 

I bobbed my head in agreement.

 

“Thanks for the message, by the way.” I looked to and fro to check that there was still no one around. “It may have provided the necessary secondary link to get back to this side of reality.”

 

sans’ malleable left eye-brow stretched upwards. I pulled out the older flip-phone again and handed it to him.

 

“This gave a primary link. A device that holds magic, thanks to Alphys, as well as memories and intent, thanks to my dealings and I am betting Papyrus. The message, thanks to you tinkering with the machine, I think created a second link or ancillary link to make more come through. Thus why I was able to come to this side with more than the clothes on my back.”

 

Both eye-brows went up at that. “you have more stuff from your universe?”

 

“I do. Laptop, change of clothes, a few memories, stuff like that. And,” I paused to take out my other phone. “This guy.”

 

sans took the other phone with interest. “fancy.”

 

“I splurged a little. But I was hoping that somehow, someway, there’d be a mini-link back home so that I could still keep in touch with folks.” I tapped the screen and pointed to the spot where the signal strength should have been. “Nothing.”

 

“maybe. or maybe not yet. bet it just takes time. wait it out, chill.” He handed my flat-phone back to me and looked at the flip. “heh. kinda makes sense that papyrus is the one to provide the means for a hero to get back to their place of victory.”

 

“Again, with the hero stuff.” I pressed a hand to my face. sans just chuckled.

 

“yep. get used it. and get used to hearing people say get used to it.” He gave me a nudge with his elbow.

 

“Heh.” I looked down and saw that the Void Being was staring up at sans with a strange look on their face.

 

“Alright if I tell him?” They nodded without looking at me. “The majority of the Void Being, or at least what I think is a majority, came from a monster you once worked with. Namely on the machine itself.”

 

“huh.”

 

“They had the worst clumsy moment and fell into the machine. I guess you two were partners or something on the project.” They nodded again.

 

“ahh…” sans followed my gaze to where the Void Being sat. “and you’re hoping that i remember? or can see you?”

 

They nodded furiously.

 

sans sighed and his smile faded just a little. “I’m sorry. But I don’t. And I can’t. Whatever happened to ya wiped my mind clean. Sorry.”

 

The Void Being deflated and slumped. I patted them on the head. They waved in thanks, and I was happy to see that they didn’t melt again.

 

“hm. i wonder. they’re right there, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

sans scratched his chin and gave a shrug. An aimed hand came down with a finger forward.

 

“hey. whoever you are. i’m sorry i forgot ya, but i wanna still thank ya for helping a mutual friend. must be a good SOUL to have done so. all of y’all.”

 

The Void Being stared at the finger and slid forward. A one of their many hands moved tentatively towards the finger and grasped it lightly.

 

sans eyelights went dark.

 

“The tip of my finger just went numb. Did they grab it?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“well! then that just means you’re more corporeal than you thought, huh?”

 

The Void Being shook their finger as hard as they could in excitement. It wasn’t much but I could tell it was more than enough to make sans tense.

 

“hey, easy there, can’t lose my finger. barely have enough hp as it is.”

 

“You have more than one?” I asked with a grin on my face.

 

“yep. i am the proud owner of twenty.”

 

“Hey! Not bad, keep it up.”

 

“yep. gonna keep goin for it.” sans took his finger back slowly. “sorry, my fingertip needed its feeling back.” The Void Being just bobbed up and down in mirth.

 

“There’s more to everything, by the way. But like with your stuff, we can discuss this in a more serious environment. Alright with you?”

 

sans grinned wider. “totally. i say we get some pie.”

 

“Pie would be nice.” We hopped off the bench, I gathered up the Void Being, and off we shuffled to the pies.

 

“Not wearing slippers I see.”

 

“nah, haven’t in quite some time. been doing my best to keep myself properly dressed every day.”

 

“Kept the hoodie though,” I heckled.

 

“pfft, it’s called fashion you plebeian. and i pull this look off with _style_.”

 

I laughed at that and he nudged me in the ribs in revenge.

 

When we made it back to the food tables I saw that Frisk was playing with a few bunny kids, the bunnykeeps were keeping an eye on them alongside Toriel, Papyrus and Undyne were talking animatedly with one another, Alphys was trying to covertly sneak a slice of what looked to be the most extremely chocolate pie that was available, and… waitaminnit.

 

“Dogaressa, Dogamy, where you heading?”

 

“Home.”

 

“(Yes, home. We’ve been away a bit too long.)”

 

“But we wanted to hear your story!”

 

“(And now we go home to face the potential damage.)”

 

“...What potential damage?”

 

“Oh! Right! We had adopted a few puppies!”

 

“(They are so adorable!)”

 

My jaw fell. “You’re parents now?”

 

The married couple looked to one another. After a few seconds they started giggling.

 

“That explains the cards!”

 

“(And all those diapers!)”

 

“No, just dog-puppies. Like you humans raise.”

 

“(Labrador-boxer mixes! So adorable!)”

 

I rubbed the back of my neck while sans laughed it up. Same could be said for the Void Being bobbing furiously on my shoulder.

 

“Ohhh that makes… yeah, okay. My bad.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“(We were a bit ambiguous.)” The two dog-folks bade us a good night and headed off for home.

sans was still cackling up a storm when we finally made it to the table.

 

“oh man hahahahahahahaha the look on your face!”

 

“You knew, didn’t you?” I glared at him.

 

“you definitely barked up the wrong tree! hahahahahahaha!”

 

“sans.”

 

“you hahahahahaha shoulda paws-d before you spoke hahahahahahaha!”

 

“ _ sans. _ ”

 

“if they weren’t so hahahahahahaha so mellow you’d be in the _doghouse_ by now! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

 

SPLAT!

 

Before I could catch myself sans found himself with a lemon meringue pie to the face. He stood there stock still while I slowly started to realize what I had done.

 

“HUMAN!”

 

I slowly turned to find Papyrus standing over me. As in, somehow, TOWERING over me! The Void Being started to shrink down.

 

“Yyyyyeeeeesss….?”

“DID YOU JUST PIE MY BROTHER?! IN THE FACE?!”

 

I looked at sans. I looked back at Papyrus.

 

“Yyyeeesss….?”

 

“HMMMM. HMMMMM. HMMMMMMMMMMMM. I SEE!”

 

SPLAT!

 

“THAT WAS THE ONLY PROPER RESPONSE! NYEH HEH HEH!”

 

I was im-peached!

“Hey! Did you just pie the human!?” I heard Undyne cry out.

 

“WHY YES! YES I DID!”

 

SPLAT!

 

“FUHUHUHUHUHU!”

 

SPLAT!

 

“HEY!”

 

I heard some giggles inter-sped with snorts.

 

“I-I-I couldn’t hel-” 

 

SPLAT!

 

**WOOF!”**

 

SPLAT!

 

“Hah!”

 

I barely got to get the filling off of my glasses when I saw that every remaining monster was suddenly armed.

 

With pies.

 

_ Oh no. _

 

“FREE! FOR! ALL!!!” 

 

And then the pies  _ flew. _

 

Cherry. Rhubarb. Apple. Peach. Creams of all kinds. Every single pie was airborne and aimed at someone else. 

 

Papyrus’ once clean uniform was turned into a kaleidoscope of colors and flavors.

 

Undyne went from a fish to a filling. 

 

Alphys was covered in so much lemon custard that she could have substituted as the pie itself. 

 

sans did his best to duck under the first few shots fired but after a while he gave in and took the hits. And I swear he threw a few when he thought no one was looking.

 

I was soon buried in crust as the favorite target that night.

 

I heard the bunnysisters shriek out and call out mild threats as they tossed out their own selections.

 

About ten minutes into the horror show, a single voice broke it up.

 

**_“ENOUGH!”_ **

 

Everyone stopped and turned.

 

Toriel was standing before us with her paws behind her back. She had the most disappointed mother look anyone could have  _ ever _ have had the misfortune of being under. 

 

Frisk was slightly behind her and clutching Toriel’s robe.

 

“Now really! We all worked so hard on these treats! And look at yourselves.”

 

Several people slowly started to lower their pies. I noticed in the meantime that sans slowly stepped behind his brother.

 

“Now I may not be the Queen of the Underground anymore…”

 

TORIEL SUDDENLY WHIPPED OUT TWO PIES FROM BEHIND!

 

Frisk did the same with a couple of mini-pies!

 

“BUT I AM STILL QUEEN OF THE PIES!”

 

\---

 

“That. Was the most EPIC. Pie fight I have ever been in.”

 

There was a chorus of agreement from the monsters who accompanied me back to the inn. Every single one of us was covered from head to various styles of toes in filling, cream, crust, fruits and some pumpkin besides.

 

“Oh my goodness, that was much fun! But I fear we have a great deal of clean-up to attend to.”

 

“NO WORRIES MS. TORIEL! I WILL BE VOLUNTEERING TOMORROW FOR MY DAY OFF AND WILL BE PRESENT TO MAKE SURE THE CLEANUP GOES SWIMMINGLY!” Papyrus declared as he continued to pick off strawberries from himself. sans had gained a small red crown in the process.

 

“besides, i think the really late arrivals will take care of it.”

 

“N-n-never before have I thought T-T-Temmies could be so frightening…”

 

“Poor Doggo. He saw them coming but couldn’t do a thing about it.” Undyne said with a small shake to her head.

 

Toriel plucked a bit of pie crust from Frisk’s head. “Young lady, you are very much due for a bath now.”

 

“Noooooooo….”

 

The group of monsters and myself laughed for the hundredth time that night. 

 

I patted the Void Being on the head. They seemed to have absorbed the pie that hit them, but they didn’t seem to mind. In fact, they were having a whale of a time nibbling on various bits that they could get ahold of.

 

“How far away is your place anyways, Toriel?”

 

“About halfway across town, unfortunately. And I have yet to find a suitable car-”

 

“Uh uh.” The innkeep piped up. “You folks are staying in the inn tonight. My treat.”

 

“Besides, I think we have some things to discuss anyways,” her sister added.

 

**“Oh my, I do enjoy that plan of action!”**

 

“Wh- Mettaton, where have you been?”

 

The boxy robot gave a rather diva-ish chuckle.  **“Oh ho ho ho, Darling, I can smell a pie-fight from a** **_mile_ ** **away. And I didn’t want to deal with the buffing or the cleaning after. So, I went with dear Blooky for a while. They still don’t do well in crowds you know, bless their heart.”**

 

“I was wondering where my fave chiptune master was. They good?”

 

**“They stayed long enough to watch the disaster happen, then disappeared when the Temmies flooded in.”**

 

“Well, at least-”

 

**“And I had Burgie help me gather as much footage as I could before they struck. Ohhhh this is going to be** **_glorious!”_ **

 

“HEY!”

 

**“Don’t worry, Undyne darling, I will blur out the faces of those that don’t want to be known!”**

 

\---

 

An hour and a lot of towels used later the majority of us were in the bunnykeeps’ largest dining room. Mettaton had swapped over into his Humanoid self while Toriel had decided to take a rather fussy Frisk to bed. 

 

“Goodness, she just has a radar for when discussion is to take place.” Toriel sat herself at the table we took over and gave a sigh of relief. “What a day.”

 

“You said it.” Undyne grinned to the queen.

 

“yep. to brass tacks I take it?”

 

There was a general agreement and all faces were turned to me. The Void Being blopped off my shoulder and onto the table to squat down on the cloth.

 

Even with the smaller crowd, the sudden attention made me get hot under the collar.

 

“Right. Uh. Where to begin…”

 

sans tapped the table. “i say we start with ourselves before we make the human spill what their plans are.”

 

“Thanks sans.”

 

“and so they have the pressure build up till they explode in nervousness,” he continued with a sly grin on his face.

 

“....Thanks sans.”

 

“I WILL GO FIRST!” Papyrus cleared his throat. 

 

“HUMAN! IN THE YEAR, MONTH AND DAY YOU HAVE BEEN GONE I TOOK YOUR WORDS TO HEART AND MADE IT MY GOAL TO HELP EVERYONE I COULD EVEN IF I COULD NOT BE A PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD! WHICH I FOUND OUT THE WEEK AFTER WE WERE FREED WAS DISSOLVED. WHAT A SAD ENDING ON TOP OF YOUR RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL HOME. 

 

“BUT! I FOUND OUT SOON AFTER ABOUT THE POLICE FORCE IN THIS TOWN! AFTER A NIGHT OF DISCUSSION WITH THE CHIEF I GOT A CHANCE TO SPEAK TO THE COMMISSIONER! AND SOON AFTER THAT A CHANCE TO JOIN THE FORCE ITSELF!

 

“IT TOOK A FEW WEEKS, BUT I WON OVER MY ASSOCIATES DESPITE MY MONSTERY AND SKELETAL ORIGINS! THEY’RE ALL SO NICE! NYEH HEH HEH!

 

“AND ALONG WITH MY POLICE TRAINING I DECIDED TO TAKE ON AS MANY VOLUNTEER PROJECTS AS I COULD! AND BOY WITH MY ENERGY DID I MANAGE TO DO A LOT!”

 

“Holy cow, Papyrus, that’s all sorts of awesome.” I gave a bit of applause.

 

“THANK YOU HUMAN! NOW IT’S UNDYNE’S TURN!”

 

Undyne smacked the table. “HELL YEAH IT IS!”

 

“Undyne!”

“What? Frisk is in bed, and I know that Shirley here soundproofed the hell out of this building.” Undyne politely-ish shot back as she thumbed over to the bunny innkeep. 

 

_ Huh. That’s what the innkeep’s name is. _

 

“Still. Language, please.”

 

Undyne gave a ‘pfft.’ “Your Former Majesty, I heard you swear up a storm when Asgore told you what he planned.”

 

The blush went clear through Toriel’s fuzz. “That was under different circumstances.”

 

The amazon fish woman just smiled toothily. A quick glance to me and her attention was shifted. “I did the same thing Paps here did, though it took me a little longer. And I’m still lesser rank than him, the lucky pile of bones.”

 

“LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! I AM SIMPLY THAT GOOD IN THE EYES OF THE CHIEF!”

 

“Whatever you say, Captain,” she said with a bigger grin on her face. “I’m a lieutenant for now, but I bet that the program I have everyone on will get me up soon enough. Thanks to me, no one can say we have anyone remotely doughy on the streets! And I help those that get in to get in better shape too, if they need it. No judgement or anything like that, you know. With everyone working as hard as they have been, and everyone with really  _ awesome _ attitudes now, we’ve got the lowest crime rate in the country!”

 

Undyne and Papyrus took a moment to trade high-fives.

 

“Alphys?”

 

“Th-th-thanks.” The dino-lizard-lady tapped two claws together. “I-I-I’ve been working on a ton of r-r-recycling programs and jobs, helping folks get better tech out of it. Thanks to the reverse engineering of things and showing o-o-off our skills in working with j-j-junk, we’ve been improving lives all over.

 

“A-a-a-a-and that’s not all. I’ve been looking into the magic ph-ph-phenomenon with humans. And trying to get some t-t-t-test subjects for the, you know, t-t-testing?”

 

“Like how you did for this?” I asked as I pulled out the flip-phone again.

 

“Y-y-yeah! And I need t-t-t-to get some good feedback on how well the intent m-m-modifiers works and-and-and-and-!”

 

Alphys threatened to curl up into a ball like she tended to do. Undyne kissed her softly on the forehead, and just like that? Alphys snapped out of it.

 

“Thanks, Undyne.”

 

“Anytime, Alphys.”

 

The two shared a quick nose-nuzzle.

 

“Aww.” 

 

Mettaton rose his hand.  **“Is it my turn?”**

 

_ This oughta be good. _

 

**“When I got my chance to be on the cameras, I took the world by** **_storm_ ** **, Darling. The audience ate me up! And they ate up the Glamburgers and Face-Steaks and Starfaits and everything! In just a few months I was a positively** **_glittering_ ** **sensation across the globe! While popular here, though, the folks across both sides of the oceans just** **_adored_ ** **me. I have several shows in Germany and Poland next week alone!”**

 

“Glad to hear you got the success you wanted. Who’s your backup, if you have any?”

 

**“All of my music is being handled by Blooky now, of course. I have some vocal help offstage with dear Shyren. She has her own backup in the form of her Almalgamated sister as well. And the most surprising addition of all has been Burgie!”**

 

I raise an eyebrow. “How’d he manage that?”

 

Mettaton put the back of his hand to his mouth and laughed.  **“Burgie may be a horrid fast food worker but he has a lot of untapped potential as an actor. Once he laid off the ham anyways.”**

 

My eyebrow just rocketed straight up. Even the Void Being looked incredulous.

 

**“Ho ho ho, I know, pot-kettle. But when he relaxed and just flowed into the lines he was MUCH better at what he wanted to do. And he has discovered how well he works behind the cameras as well! On the nights that he’s too stressed he does such wonderful work with the cues and lights. He’s surprisingly well-rounded.”**

 

Mettaton must have decided he was finished and turned to the shopkeep bunny to his left.

 

“Oh, my turn, huh?”

 

**“Indeed, darling.”**

 

She gave a laugh. “I’ve taken my business and merged with with my sister’s, just like we did in Snowdin.”

 

Shirley nodded to that. “It took some convincing with the banks, but once we showed off the currency we were using, they were completely on board.”

 

“We opened up the first inn, this one, and used as much of what we had in Snowdin to do it. And by the way…” The bunny shopkeep leaned towards me with a coy grin on her face. “We found out what you meant by how popular we were going to be, hun.”

 

I gave a nervous chuckle.

 

“We were hit on by so many folks that it became worrying.”

 

“Then it sorta tapered off and now we get some more natural customers.”

 

Shirley smiled. “They loved the soundproofing.”

 

“And the cinnabunnies have been flying off the pans!”

 

I grinned widely. “Sounds like you’ve been having a wonderful time overall.” There was a tug at my pinkie. “And my friend here wants to try a cinnabunny.”

 

The nodded so hard that they turned into a blurr of grey mass.

 

“Well, sugar, if they want to try one, they’ll have to wait till morning.”

 

All eyes went to Toriel.

 

“Mine is not that special of a story. I adopted Frisk as soon as I was able, and have been as good a mother as I could be for her. On top of that I worked hard to become a teacher in the nearby elementary school. Well, nearby to to the home I live in now. It’s been good work, and the children really respond well to me, human or monster. Oh yes! I did manage to help the integration of the two people together, and everything’s been working out relatively well.”

 

I smiled softly. “I am glad things have been going so smoothly in relations.”

 

“There were a couple rough spots. The bullets, remember.”

 

“Yep.”

 

Toriel sighed. “But aside from that, things have just moved so well that I wonder at times if this is all a dream.”

 

I tapped the table. “Before we move on to sans then me, tell me... “ I took a deep breath. “Asgore?”

 

Everyone in the room tensed up a little. Toriel definitely deflated then.

 

“Asgore… he did all that he could with the investigations after our release. He tried to get me to hold off, what with the paperwork I was going through. But I ignored him and helped him all that I could anyways.”

 

Toriel fiddled with her paws for a few seconds. “He… he decided he needed a break from things. Asgore, bless his soul, has taken a sabbatical into the woods.”

 

“He’s become a hermit?” I asked with a bit of surprise in my voice.

 

“More like getting back to his roots. He’s decided to live off the land for a while and clear his head. Likely has his own garden overflowing into the rest of the forest right now.”

 

“Hm. Hope he’s doing okay. Think he’d take it well if I visited?”

 

Toriel shook her head. “He told everyone point blank that he was not to have visitors. Not for another few months yet.”

 

“Fair enough,” I conceded.

 

“I suppose that is it for me, then. sans?”

 

sans straightened up in his chair.

 

“well. mine’s easy. i’ve been seeing a shrink and getting better. you all know this, we already had a nice chat about it.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“what you don’t know is what i do for a living. well. here it is.” sans leaned forward.

 

I shuffled in my seat in anticipation.

 

“i am… a garbage man.”

 

“.....What.”

 

“i am a garbage man. i take care of the garbage. i use a little blue magic, dump it in the truck, off to the next house. it pays good money, has me in a spiffy little uniform, and i get done half-way into the day. it’s cathartic too.”

 

I was floored to say the least. “Wow…”

 

“hey, don’t knock it.”

 

“I’m not, it’s just not what I expected. Hotdog guy? Maybe a scientist for some odd reason. But garbageman? That’s way outta left field.”

 

sans chuckled. “hey. life takes odd turns.”

 

I nodded to the statement and found that I was under everyone’s watchful eye again.

 

“Uh, my turn I guess?”

 

There was an assortment of yeses.

 

“Alrighty. Well, you all know what I’ve done on the other side, so I might as well lay out what may need to happen here.” I breathed in. “First off, I can’t eat anything but monster food for a while. Living organic stuff that wasn’t me couldn’t get through so all the stuff that was in my gut is gone for now. Some meds and I should be able to eat human food again eventually.”

 

Toriel’s face turned decidedly mother-hennish.

 

“I’m okay for now, honest. Second, I… won’t have any form of identification here. I tried to bring my wallet for, you know, something, but it failed to get through for some odd reason.” I looked down and the Void Being just gave me a shrug.

 

**“That shouldn’t be too hard, Darling. We didn’t either.”**

 

“True, but you’re more native to this side of the multiverse. Me, not so much.”

 

“STILL, WE WILL BE WITH YOU ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE WAY AND HELP YOU WITH YOUR BUREAUCRATIC ENDEAVORS!”

 

“Thanks Paps. Thirdly, I don’t have a job or a place to stay. So, uhm, I might be a bit of a mooch until I get that situated.”

 

That got me a lot of disagreements, I tell you.

 

“You have a place with us, sugar, remember?”

 

“We owe you that much at least!”

 

“AND WE CAN HELP YOU FIND A JOB SOON AS WELL!”

 

“W-w-w-we don’t mind paying you back for letting us o-o-out…”

 

“Hell, you could crash at our place sometimes!”

 

“OR OURS!”

 

“Frisk could use some babysitting some nights.”

 

“Aw jeeze. Thanks ya’ll.” I grinned happily to the monsters assembled. “Okay. Plans made I guess. I get myself numbered and registered, then get a new job and start up my life amongst ya’ll!”

 

A round of cheers filled the dining room.

“Also, Alphys?”

 

“Y-y-yeah?”

 

I poked the Void Being who gave me an annoyed look. “We might like some help getting this being a bit more visible or something. They’re tangible in some measure, but they’d like to, you know, interact more fully.”

 

She looked at the space that I was poking at. “I-I-I can try.”

 

“Thanks.” A yawn broke my stride for the night. I checked my watch. “Holy cow it’s late.”

 

“Agreed.” Shirley got up from the table. “I have an early morning ahead of me, as do a lot of us here. I suggest we go to bed now.”

 

Toriel agreed and went straight into mom-ster mode. Everyone was shuffled off to their rooms, though we were allowed enough time to bid each other good night.

 

At the end of it all it was Toriel and I at the room I was strapped in last night.

 

“Good night, Toriel.”

 

“Good night to you as well. It is nice to see you again.” She started to pad away but stopped at the stairwell. “I am also glad you led us to one of the happier endings. Even with the extra struggle involved. I hope it continues.”

 

“Me too.”

 

She smiled warmly and disappeared into the stairwell.

 

I entered my room swapped into my sleepwear. The Void Being took residence in a makeshift bed on the dresser.

 

“Sleep well.”

 

They made a few motions with their hands that I guessed meant ‘you too’.

 

I slipped under the covers and dozed off into dreams of pies and monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another super-sized chapter! I think I'm getting better at this.
> 
> Hope it read well for ya'll too.
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). She's plotting more to come, so give a comment or two. Thankya!
> 
>  
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's been developing a lot of neat stuff in the meantime, so check it out!
> 
>  
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	5. Still Reeling from the Revelation

It was a lovely morning. The birds were singing out their twitters and tweets. The sun was threatening to crest over the nearby buildings. And I was so comfortable. All snuggled into my covers.

 

So comfortable.

 

So content.

 

I swear I heard the Blue Danube song playing somewhere out th-

 

**_WHAM!_ **

 

“HELLO HUMAN! WELCOME TO YOUR THIRD DAY IN YOUR NEW HOME! TIME TO WAKE UP AND GET READY FOR THE LINES! THE PAPERWORK! BUREAUCRACY! COME ON UP UP UP!!!”

 

I was thrown out of my bed from the sheer energy of it all.

 

“Bw-wah-ack!” I tried to get myself untangled from the sheets I was wrapped up in. More like boa constrictors now.

 

“Papyrus, its…!” I pulled my watch off the shelf and looked at it. Then I snagged my glasses so I could actually read it. “Barely seven in the morning! Nothing is going to be open that could do what I need to do!”

 

“AH-AH-AH!” He waggled a gloved phalange at me. “THAT IS NO EXCUSE! EVEN MY ONCE-LAZY BROTHER WAS UP AND AT'EM EARLIER THAN USUAL SO HE COULD GET TO WORK! SO UP UP UP! WE HAVE A LOT TO DO AND AS IT IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ DAY OFF I SHALL BE UTILIZING MY VAST AMOUNTS OF VOLUNTEER TIME AND EXPERTISE TO HELP THE EQUALLY GREAT HERO-HUMAN TO GETTING THEIR IDENTIFICATION MADE! ONWARD!” And with that he left the room with much speed and equal door-slamming. I heard his trademark ‘NYEH HEH HEH’ echo for all of a second before the soundproofing of the inn kicked in.

 

“Wow, they really do have good work… ugh.” I heaved a massive yawn as I untangled myself further. Whether I liked it or not, I was definitely awake now.

 

As I got redressed into more appropriate people-talking attire I noticed that the Void Being was still snoozing away.

 

And that there were bits of metal and what looked to be half a wooden cafe-chair on the floor and desk around them.

 

“What the…?”

 

I slipped on my socks and shoes and tiptoed through the tulips. I mean the metal shards. A small poke was delivered to the tiny Voidy. They waved off my finger with a few hands.

 

“Uh-uh, I get an unscheduled early morning wake up call, you do too.” Another prod.

 

They slowly turned to glare at me.

 

“Morning!” I said as brightly as I could.

 

They rolled back over and pulled their makeshift blanket over themselves. It was a towel, by the way.

 

“Hey, just one question.”

 

Several hands threw themselves up in the air. I can tell you they very much did care. They gave me a look that screamed “WHAT?!” Given how their lips moved, I think they screamed it 'out loud' too.

 

“Where’d all this metal come from? And that half of a chair?” I pointed the bits of trash out to them.

 

They looked around the room. They patted themselves. They looked around again. They picked a tiny shard out of their bed and examined it.

 

They looked up at me.

 

They shrugged.

 

\---

 

When I got downstairs I found that not only was Papyrus up and awake but the keep sisters were as well. Shirley was setting up the main area while her sister was in the kitchen likely cooking up a batch of cinnabunnies, judging by the smell.

 

“Morning ya’ll.”

 

Shirley smiled brightly. “Good morning! Did you sleep well?”

 

“I did, until the Boney Bro Alarm went off.” I gave a stretch and my back popped a little. “Ow…”

 

“Ooh that did not sound fun. Well, glad to hear you had a good night. We’ve been up a short while to get things going.” Shirley noted as she straightened out a tablecloth.

 

I scratched a cheek and looked about. “Been wondering. Your business is doing well, right?”

 

“Mhm!”

 

“Where’s the help? I mean, I’ve only seen you and your sister.”

 

“They had the day off, same as the rest of the monsters. And the humans were too, so there was no claim of discrimination. Not that there’s been any of that. I’ve been blessed with such open-minded employees.”

 

“Huh. Neat.” I looked around and appreciated the inn for a little bit. “Have to say, you’ve done awesomely with this place. Congrats.”

 

Shirley gave a giggle. “Thank you, we’re quite proud of ourselves. Now, to the main room with you. You have people waiting.”

 

“Papyrus?” I ventured.

 

“And others.”

 

_Oh jeeze, if Undyne’s coming, someone’s gonna end up with a pencil up their nostril. And there’s no telling who._

 

I made sure that the Void being in my shirt pocket was comfortable (they were. Very comfortable and they snoozed away) and walked into the main lobby.

 

“GOOD MORNING HUMAN! I AM GLAD THAT YOU FINALLY THREW OFF THE SHACKLES OF LAZINESS AND GREETED THE DAY AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES!”

 

“Not quite, but I appreciate the positivity, Paps,” I responded with a grin. “Who else is gonna join us?”

 

“We are joining you today, dear.” I turned to find Toriel in a very professional skirt and matching suit-top. It worked.

 

Frisk was right near her mother in a tiny suit of her own. She was looking decidedly grumpy and was pulling at the collar of her outfit.

 

“Oh holy cow you two are better dressed than me. And I’m the one-”

 

“Oh no no no, this is for show. Former Queen of the Monsters of Ebbot escorting the hero-human after all. Need to look our best.” Toriel said as regally as possible with a hand on her chest and the other flaired out a little.

 

Frisk just gave another ‘bleh’ face and continued to look grumpy.

 

“Wha- really?”

 

The clock in the room clicked once. Toriel gave out a giggling snort.

 

“No, not entirely. I just like the professional-human look when I go into government offices. And I think Frisk looks adorable in a suit!”

 

The little girl crossed her arms and went from grumpy to frumpy with a hint of possible treachery later on.

 

“Huh. I still feel a little underdressed.” I plucked at the polo shirt and jeans I had picked out. They were clean, but still…

 

Toriel giggled again. “Oh nonsense, you’ll be fine.”

 

“At any rate, you two look great. What are we gonna do until things open up anyways?”

 

“Simple.” Toriel squatted down and readjusted Frisk’s tiny pink tie. “Walk around town and let you see what has been going on since you were gone.”

 

“Huh. Good plan.”

 

“THANK YOU! I CAME UP WITH IT WHILE TALKING TO THE QUEEN! SHE MENTIONED HOW LONG IT WOULD BE UNTIL THINGS OPENED UP, AS WELL AS A REMINDER ON PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR ENTERING OTHER PEOPLE’S ROOMS!”

 

I raised an eyebrow at that and looked to Toriel.

 

“I may be fine with waking up early, but it had better be on my terms,” Toriel said with a hard nod. Frisk gave one herself and stuck her tongue out at Papyrus.

 

\---

 

We took a stroll around town. Given that the mild temperatures of the morning was nothing compared to what I was used to back home, I made a guess that we were somewhere up northish in comparison. Folks were walking about, opening up their businesses and prepping for the day. I got several hellos from passing monsters in the process.

 

“Neat, there’s The Nice Cream Factory! Glad to see that the business is doing well.”

 

The Nice Cream Vendor waved an enthusiastic hello from inside of his shop. Several employees, comprised of what looked like an ant-person, a yarn-headed being, and a couple humans looked over and waved as well. He gave a sheepish shrug that I guess meant he couldn’t talk but it was pretty clear and understandable as to why.

 

“Their sales have gone through the roof thanks to the use of the internet on the surface. While the Nice Cream still has the same effects as human-made ice cream, such as the caloric intake, people all around love how it dissolves in the throat.”

 

“MANY MORE LOVE THE FACT THAT THE FLAVOR IS INDESCRIBABLE, AT LEAST FOR THE ORIGINAL FLAVOR! SINCE HE EXPANDED HIS FLAVORS I HAVE FOUND THAT THE NICE CREAM HAS GOTTEN BETTER FOR IT!”

 

“Really? So what’s your favorite flavor?” I asked to Papyrus.

 

“MINT! WITH A HINT OF VANILLA!”

 

“...Huh. I was expecting cinnamon or something.”

 

“WHILE THAT IS A WONDERFUL FLAVOR INDEED, I HAVE ALWAYS ENJOYED THE CRISP INVIGORATING POWER THAT IS MINT COMBINED WITH THE SILKY SWEETNESS THAT IS VANILLA.”

 

“Cool. Learn something new every day.”

 

Papyrus just beamed and waved to the next point of our tour. Toriel chuckled again and walked slowly so that Frisk, who was holding a paw, could keep up.

 

“How’s Muffet been doing?”

 

“WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE STOPPED HER BAKERY?”

 

“She did _what_?!” I was flabbergasted to say the least!

 

“Indeed. The poor dear.” Toriel shook her head and her ears bobbed along with her motions. “Her baked goods were not nearly as well received as the majority of monster confections. She tried lowering her prices from horrendous to extravagant but sadly the human population was just not willing to partake in spider-infused cupcakes and the like.”

 

“Ow. She okay at least? I had a bit of a run-in with her, but I didn’t want her to fail that badly.” _Least she remembered what I said about the prices. Maybe._

 

“SHE HAS BOUNCED BACK THANKS TO HER WORK WITH HER SPIDERS IN CREATING SILK FOR FASHION! AND OTHER THINGS!” Papyrus answered with a point. I peered and saw a building covered in spiderwebs. Not real ones, but kinda static decorative ones. “THANKS TO HER OWN ABILITIES AND THAT OF HER FAMILY, SPIDER SILK IS BECOMING MORE READILY AVAILABLE FOR USE IN FABRICS AND OTHER MATERIALS, LIKE GAUZE AND STUFF! IT’S REALLY QUITE IMPRESSIVE!”

 

“Thank goodness. Happy end- well not really an _ending_ but happy continuation at least.”

 

Frisk gasped and pointed to something herself. We all looked and saw Grillby sweeping up outside of his new diner-restaurant-bar thing.

 

“Now Frisk, it is far too early for a meal from Grillby’s. I do not believe he is even open at this time,” Toriel admonished lightly. Frisk returned to her frumpy state.

 

“FOR THE BEST AS WELL! SO MUCH GREASE!” Papyrus exclaimed.

 

Toriel gave him a nudge and nodded towards Grillby. A Grillby who had stopped what he was doing and was staring pointedly at Papyrus.

 

“I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY OPINION, GRILLBY, BUT I DO NOT TOTALLY BEGRUDGE YOUR ABILITY TO COOK A BURGER THAT MANAGES TO SATISFY BOTH MY BROTHER AND TORIEL’S DAUGHTER! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY!”

 

Grillby just continued to state for a minute. He gave a shrug soon after and continued his sweeping. I think I heard a muttered “...Opinions.” Or maybe it was the sound of the broom swishing.

 

We continued our stroll around the town and checked out more shops and such. While some of them were monster-run, the majority of what was in the area was definitely human. But everywhere I looked, monsters were a part of the crowd. Some as employees, some as customers. But all of them accepted.

 

_Wow. This is way better than how most of the fics I read were about how everyone just struggled for no good reason other than drama._

 

“Say, Toriel. I hate to sound like a downer, but… is all this real? I mean, humans aren’t exactly known for tolerance, but everything here seems so… well… good.”

 

Toriel beamed. “I dare say we have been blessed. We have had a few hecklers, that is for sure. And there have been a few… untoward advances to several members of the community. But the humans here and beyond have been exceptionally accepting of our kind. It is surprising but refreshing, considering the… alternative.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

“I KNEW HUMANS COULD BE SO WONDERFUL! AFTER ALL, WE MET A HUMAN THAT PROVED THAT CAPABILITY WITHOUT A DOUBT!”

 

I coughed a bit a that. “You do know now that I am a human that isn’t from around here? In a lot of ways.”

 

“YES, SANS WAS VERY THOROUGH IN HIS EXPLANATION LAST NIGHT BEFORE HE DOZED OFF. BUT! THAT DOES NOT DIMINISH THE FACT THAT YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AS WELL AS THE WHOLE OF THE MONSTER KINGDOM, THAT HUMANS ARE TRUSTWORTHY!”

 

“Aw, thanks dude.”

 

“YOU ARE WELCOME, FELLOW DUDE!”

 

I breathed in deep and grinned to my fellow walkers. “You know what? I think today is gonna go awesome! With everything else on the up-and-up, surely the work to get me into the system will go just as swimmingly!”

 

\---

 

“I am sorry, but there is just no good means of getting you into the system.”

 

I sputtered. “What, are you _kidding me?!_ ”

 

“Really! This human has done so much, surely there is something that can be done?”

 

The government agent we had been working with sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry, I really am, but I have worked through every possible means of getting you introduced into the paperwork that is the government. I got my supervisor involved, I got my supervisor’s supervisor, we’ve gone through every means of getting you properly documented. Nothing!”

 

“We’ve been working on his for…” I looked at a clock. “...Ten hours. Holy crud. Okay, I get it, I’m a very weird anomaly. Is there anything _I_ can do to make it possible?”

 

She shuffled her paperwork for the hundredth time and shook her head. “The only thing that might help is getting a blood sample or your teeth done, something to get you in medically-”

 

“BUT! WE HAVE JUST STATED! THAT MOST IF NOT ALL REPUTABLE PLACES THAT WOULD DO SUCH WORK WOULD NOT LET THEM IN UNLESS THEY HAD THAT NUMBER!”

“Social Security.”

 

“YES, THAT! WHY WERE WE MONSTERS ABLE TO GET THAT NUMBER, BUT THEY CAN’T?!”

 

To her credit, Melissa kept her cool despite the sheer chunk of time this had taken. “That’s because your kind had a very well done Identification System. I mean, serious, I’ve been working in this sector for the better part of two decades and I managed to learn a lot just from the scraps of stuff that came my way. It was a cinch to get you guys in.”

 

Toriel practically glowed. “A fool he may have been in many areas, but Asgore was always good with keeping up with his subjects, no matter how small they saw themselves.”

 

“That’s grand, but here’s the problem.” Melissa pointed at me. “I got nothing on you. Your phone has nothing, you have no wallet-”

 

“It disappeared in the transition over here!”

 

“...Sure. Your name provides us nothing, no dental records, no blood samples, no certificates. I mean, Toriel, it’s nice of you to offer to add them into your own records, but they have the same problems there if just because your system is so air-tight!”

 

“Shoot,” Toriel mumbled under her breath.

 

“You are effectively a ghost in the system. Out of the system. All over and in between the system! I mean, you don’t belong to any country if your story is true-”

 

“AND IT IS! THEY ARE NOT ONES TO LIE! AT LEAST ON THIS GRAND A SCALE! I THINK.”

 

“...Right. But the point stands, I can’t build you up cause there is literally nothing here to build you from.”

 

I headdesked fairly hard. “Uggghhh…”

 

“I’m sorry, I really am. But this is something that is going to take weeks, maybe even _months_ , to get fixed. Or even started.”

 

I had a worrying thought. “So, how exactly are laws going to apply to me?”

 

Melissa cast me a suspicious look. “In what manner?”

 

“Well, there’s the obvious known day-to-day laws. Then there’s labor laws, human rights, monster rights, likely merged rights at this point, right?”

 

“For the most part. There’s still a few conundrums, but most of it has been set in a mutual agreements of sorts,” Melissa confirmed with a nod.

 

“But all those sorts of things. How do they apply to me in my paperless existence?”

 

Melissa tapped a pen. “I… I honestly don’t know.”

 

“Oh dear.”

 

“Hey hey hey, that’s because I’m not a law maker or an upholder. I’m a pencil pusher. You’re an officer, right?” She asked of Papyrus.

 

“I AM NOT ONLY AN OFFICER, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS A CAPTAIN OF THE JURISDICTION!”

 

“Okay, so, your opinion?”

 

“I WOULD TREAT THEM THE SAME AS ANY OTHER CITIZEN! NO FREE RIDES BUT NO DISCRIMINATION EITHER! THEY DO THE RIGHT THING, I DO MY RIGHT THING! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

 

“Huh. No wonder your town is so- anyways!” Melissa tapped on her keyboard. “Best thing to do is get in touch with the local politicians, let them know what is going on- OH! And take… this!”

 

Melissa pulled out a very important-looking document and stamped it with that weird notary-thing. She handed it over to me and I looked it over. The words pretzeled my inner lobes.

 

“For the sake of my tired brainmeats, what’s this?”

 

“That is a letter from my supervisor that effectively grants you political asylum. Closest thing we can do to make you a citizen, but it’s more of a band-aid than anything else,” Melissa explained with a shrug.

 

“Hey, if it helps, it helps.” I handed the letter over to Toriel who put it inside of her hammerspace.  
  
“Still wish I had that function.”

 

“I do as well. Many humans would have benefited from the space’s existence.” Toriel patted Frisk’s head as she snoozed on the goat-dragon-momma’s lap. “Though knowing this one, she’d use it to sneak sweets all day.”

 

Melissa gave a laugh. “I have to say Toriel, your daughter is a gem. We have so many rambunctious kids that try to tear up the walls in boredom. Your kiddo is much more well behaved than most children I’ve seen.”

 

A bright smile enveloped the Ex-Queen’s face. “I have been blessed with a very good child, and she has been doing very well with getting along in this strange new world.”

 

“I can tell.” Melissa tapped her pen on the desk again. “Well, that is all I can really do for now. I will keep working on this case though. I’ll let you guys know if anything else comes up, good or ill. Alright?”

 

“Thanks Melissa.” I got up from my chair and offered a hand to shake. She accepted with a smile. “We appreciate you going above and beyond today.”

 

“Honey, you and your friends have been a beam of light compared to some of the cases I’ve gotten over the years. If just a very weird beam of light. You four try to have a good evening.”

 

We said our goodbyes, Toriel picked up the sleeping Frisk carefully as not to wake her, and we made our way out of the government building.

  
“That was a day… not wasted, but not well spent, either.”

 

“NONSENSE! WE LEARNED WHAT CANNOT BE DONE, SO NOW WE SIMPLY MUST FOCUS ON WHAT _CAN_ BE DONE! AND WHAT WE CAN DO IS USE THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ WELL-EARNED POLITICAL FAVOR TO GET YOU IN CLOSE WITH THE MAYOR! I THINK I CAN SWING A MEETING IN ABOUT A WEEK OR SO, SCHEDULES, PUZZLES, AND MEETINGS PERMITTING!”

 

Toriel giggled deeply and gave Papyrus a nudge. “Ooooor I can call up Bill, say that I have a request and get it done a little faster.”

 

“WOWIE! THAT WOULD BE MUCH FASTER!”

 

I smiled lightly. “Thanks you two. I think the day went much better with y’all around.”

 

“We were happy to help.”

 

“ABSOLUTELY!”

 

“Now I think the next thing to get done is fight off the hunger that has washed over me. What say you?”

 

“We’d be happy to help.”

 

“ABSOLUTELY!”

 

\---

 

“Wow. This is some seriously awesome pizza.”

 

There came a chorus of agreement from the monsters gathered around the table. Papyrus, Toriel, a recently awoken Frisk and I stopped by a little pizzeria on the way back to the inn and picked up several of the pies for dinner. We were joined by Alphys, Undyne, Shirley, a sleepy sans, and the shopkeep sister.

 

“Glad they offered monster-made pizzas.”

 

“S-s-same here. I tried that h-h-human-made pizza o-o-once.” Alphys went bright red. “I acted l-l-loopy afterwards.”

 

Undyne swallowed the chunk in her mouth. “Hey, it was hilarious!” She and Alphys snuggled for a quick moment. “So they couldn’t get you in today ‘cause of missing teeth or blood or something?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

“PFFFT! They shoulda asked sooner! With our encounter Underground, they could have gotten _lots_ of samples!”

 

“Undyne!” Toriel admonished with a hard look.

 

“Just sayin’!”

 

Frisk giggled up a storm at the theatrics.

 

“eh, it’ll be fine. paps here will make sure the law is in good hands, like he always does.”

 

“VERY TRUE, BROTHER!”

 

“How’d your day go, sans?” I asked as I snagged a second piece of alfredo pizza. The Void being had recently woken up for the first time since the morning and was almost inhaling their slice of pepperoni and anchovies (Undyne’s favorite).

 

“i cleaned up the town, helped with the pie removal. there wasn’t much left, but there were a lot of leftover buzzing temmies and temis.”

 

An eyebrow went up at that. “Disaster scene?”

 

“nah, but i think a dentist had a chill run down their spine. that’s a lot of sugar, monster-food or no.”

 

There was a round of laughter to that image.

 

“W-w-we kinda slept in today.”

 

“ _You_ slept in! _I_ had to pick up Papyrus’ slack!” Undyne said with a nudge to her wife. “By the way, Papyrus, commish says he wants you to take a look into the graffiti problem we’ve been having on Main.”

 

“I SHALL SNIFF OUT THE NE’ER-DO-WELLS WITH GREAT APLOMB!”

 

“He figured you would, so that’s why he asked,” the fish woman grinned.

 

“what’d you do today, frisk?”

 

The kiddo swallowed their slice of pizza (mushroom and hamburger). “Lots of paper. Lots of boring. Bleh. And a suit!”

 

“agreed, i don’t like suits either.”

 

She giggled up another storm and went back up to her pizza.

 

“Yeah, lots of paper today with nothing to show for it. Outside of that political asylum thing.”

 

The shopkeep patted me on the shoulder. “You’ll get into the system. In the meantime, don’t you worry none about the job thing. Not for now anyways, sugar.”

 

“That’s right,” Shirley added. “Just help me keep your room straight and be on good behavior, and we’ll be fine.”

 

“What, you think I’m going to go all mischievous on you folks?”

 

**_“Yes.”_ **

 

“Wow, thanks guys.”

 

Laughter filled the room yet again and we tucked back into the dinner of the night.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing's easy, is it? ;)
> 
> Liatai helped lots with this chapter, especially with the Papyrus flavor. She has such a good knack for his voice, it's awesome!
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's been having a lot of fun, I think, with the responses, so please keep it going. :D
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). A kind word could do wonders, I think. Lots of thinking here.
> 
> Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	6. Mountains of Paperwork

“I-I-I need you to be perfectly still.”

 

“Alphys, as it stands, I can’t even-”

 

“SHH!”

 

It had been a few days since the government talks about the whole documentation problem. Despite Toriel’s pull, the mayor, a man by the name of Bill Theodore, was unable to meet with me. Not that he didn’t want to, naturally, but because he was up to his eyeballs in political nonsense, mostly with re-approving a couple laws here and there for the city. So I spent the last few days loafing about, trying to help the keep sisters and otherwise trying to enjoy myself in the new side of reality I put myself in.

 

And now?

 

Now I found myself in Alphys’ lab with more recording devices slapped on my body than most music studios utilize.

 

“DON’T! MOVE!”

 

“I’m n-!”   
  


“SHUSH!”

 

Alphys took my stunned reaction as a chance to stick another sucker-recording-device-thing onto my tongue. It didn’t taste  _ bad _ but it wasn’t too  _ good _ either.

 

The dino-lizard-scientist’s talons clicked on the tiled floor as she walked back to her computer. She started typing furiously the moment she sat down. Her eyes squinted so hard I thought they’d just end up closing.

 

The Void Being had taken to sitting on my lap in the meantime and decided to feel up one of the many wires currently stuck to me.

 

“Huh… weird.”

 

I caught myself from answering but it took a lot more willpower than I thought was possible. The Void Being stopped their wire-based attentions to focus on the scientist.

 

“You’re here, a-a-and… there’s n-n-n-nothing else.”

 

_ Okay that does it.  _ I reached up and popped the device off my tongue. “What do you mean, nothing else?”

 

Alphys leaned over to give me a glare. “I just- ugh…” She hopped out of her chair grabbed a nearby clipboard and clicked her way back to me. “You’re normal. T-t-t-totally normal. No w-weird otherworldly readings, no negative photon r-r-readings like you told me about, just… you. Normal heartbeat, g-g-good breathing, just normal human stuff.”

 

“Huh.” I popped off another wire, to Alphy’s exasperated annoyance. “That’s a bit anti-climactic.”

 

“Yeah j-j-just a little and  _ why won’t yy-y-you just stay still!” _

 

“This stuff itches!” I rubbed a red spot that once had a sucker on it.

 

“It… ugh!” Alphys threw her hands up and the clipboard went flying. “Fiiiiine. N-n-nothing weird found a-a-anyways.”

 

“Well, not on me.” I stood up and continued to take of the recorder wire things. A few were in spots I regret giving her permission to place them on.

 

She bobbed her head in agreement. “R-right, your void-friend being.”

 

“Problem is, I don’t think these suckers are gonna work on them.”

 

“Hmm… m-m-maybe. Buuuuut….” Alphys had that epiphany look on her face. And then she ran out of the room.

 

“Huh. Okay, buddy, I think you’re gonna be taking my spot here in some measure.” I looked down to where the Void Being sat. “Cool with that?”

 

They gave another nod to me then pointed at the wires.

 

“Wh- you want to hold one of these?”

 

They nodded rapidly.

 

“Okay then.” I took a sucker that I just removed… and suckered it to the top of their head. “There you go.”

 

They gave me the stink eye for all of a split second before they basically melted into a puddle.

 

_ The guy’s been a bit of sense freak lately. Eh, when you’ve spent an eternity in a blank zone, it makes sense… _

 

Right about then Alphys came back in with a ton of random-looking machinery.

 

“Holy crud, want some help with those?”

 

“N-n-no no no I got it, I got it, I got- EEP!”

 

I rushed forward and caught half the pile as it lurched away from Alphys and threatened to take her with the machinery. “Th-th-thanks.”

 

“I don’t think you had it.”

 

I got a lizard tongue stuck out at me again. “Okay i-i-if you are going to help, you do  _ e-e-exactly _ what I say.”

 

“Yes ma’am!” I said with a salute.

 

“A-a-and don’t do that! Only Undyne gets to do that,” Alphys said with a hint of red on her face. She went full crimson when I raised an eyebrow to what she just said. “Oh-oh-oh HUSH!”

 

We worked about to get the machinery set up and in about half an hour we had a… a scanner of some sort set up.

 

“What, uh, what all is this?”

 

“Th-that’s a photon scanner, that’s a e-e-energy reader, that’s a magic de-de-detector like what I used on your shoes and w-watch, and that’s a toaster.”

 

“....Why… is there a toaster?”

 

“To m-m-make toast. Duh.” There was a ‘ding’ and out popped some toast.

 

I had no response to that one so I let it fly right on by.

 

Alphys made a few adjustments and pointed the various sensors at the chair I once sat upon. “Th-they are there, right?”

 

“Yep. Nearly a puddle thanks to the wire on their head, but they are there. Moment?”

 

The dinosaur lizard shrugged and I headed over to the chair. I patted the Void Being on the back and popped off the sensor. “Hey, about to do science stuff. Need you to be at your most solid, right?”

 

They shook off the sensations of the sensor and stared up at me. Once they realized what was being said and done they straightened up considerably and focused on the machinery we had set up.

 

“Okay, they’re ready.”

 

“R-r-roger.” She waved me back over to the area next to her. Once I had moved next to Alphys once more she switched on the electronics.

 

For a few minutes, we didn’t see anything. After about thirty minutes…

 

We still didn’t see anything.

 

“Hrm. Well.”

 

“N-n-n-not everything happens at once.”

 

“I suppose, but with as much ‘odd stuff’ they are coated in and been through, I woulda thought-”

 

“WH-WH-WHOA NELLY!” Alphys just about fell out of her chair. 

 

“What!? What is it!?”

 

“THAT!” She pointed dramatically at a screen.

 

I leaned in. I squinted. I took off my glasses, leaned in closer, and squinted harder.

 

There was a tiny, one-pixel bump on the graph.

 

I turned to Alphys with an unimpressed look on my face.

 

“You m-m-may not think that’s much, but that! That  _ r-r-right there _ ! That  _ proves _ th-th-that there is something, s-s-s-someone there!”

 

I leaned back around the corner to look at the Void Being. They gave me another one of their shrugs.

 

“But, Alphys, you know there is someone there.”

 

She shook her head and typed so hard that I thought she was gonna snap her keyboard in half.

 

Again.

 

“Th-that blip is not supposed to be there. I-i-i-it’s like someone messed w-w-w-with the b-b-background radiation of the universe!”

 

“Uhm. Okay…?”

 

She let out an “UGH!” and pushed me aside to get closer to her computers. A bit of dial twirling, keyboard pounding and a mouse-click later she and I gave a gasp.

 

“Th-th-there they are!”

 

On her main screen was a kind-of image of the Void Being. You know how in ghost hunting shows they use infrared to catch black-and-white footage of supposed ghosts? It was like that but instead of white they were dark, dark,  _ daaaarrrk. _ Heck light seemed to fade around them. This had the added effect of blurring out the features of their silhouette, but they were definitely on screen now.

 

“Oh-oh-oh my gosh….”

 

“I know right? One step cl-”

 

“They’re s-s-so tiny!” Alphys exclaimed with the look of an excited schoolgirl on her face.

 

“Eh-de-wha?”

 

“They’re so tiny! I-I-I bet they’re  _ adorable! _ ”

 

I peeked into the room and found that the Void Being was looking even more incredulous than ever.

 

“Uh, Alphys, focus, they’re-”   
  


“Are-are-are they usually this small? C-c-can they shift in size? OH! Does th-th-th-this mean they ride in your pocket? Or y-y-y-y-your shoulder! OH MY G-G-GOODNESS IT MAKES MORE SENSE NOW!!!”

 

I grabbed Alphys by the shoulders and forced her to be eye-to-eye with me. “Alphys, focus! Fellow scientist, mostly, at least dominantly, hearing every word you say!”

 

She blinked and shook her head. Once she realized what she was just doing her face went tomato-style again.

 

“Oh-oh-oh my god I am so so sorry!” She pushed my hands aside and scuttled into the examination area. “I’m sorry!”

 

“They, uh, they accept.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that they had the hardest ‘I am disappoint’ look on their face. I took the chance to check out the screen with Alphys in the way. She kinda gave off heat, but not nearly as much as I had expected. If that was in fact heat that was being monitored.

 

She apologized again and slunk back to her chair.

 

When I felt she had long enough to ruminate I cleared my throat. “Hey, so, what’s the screen showing?”

 

“Hm? Oh, it’s, uh, magic.” Alphys pulled over the screen and rewound a bit to where she was standing in the way of the sensors. “S-s-see? There’s w-w-w-where most of my magic is concentrated.” Indeed, her hands were a little more red than the rest of her arms. There was another reddish dot in the center of her body, the top of her head, and… on her left pinkie toe?

 

“Huh. So what’s it mean that they’re… black?”

 

“I-i-if someone was there but with low-levels of magic, like a human cause of their physical make-up and SOULs, they’d be a bluish blob. You guys h-h-have magic, it’s just p-p-pretty much untouchable now.”

 

“Well dang.”

  
“I-I-I mean without a-a-assistance, anyways.” She pointed to my pocket.

 

“Right, the application thingy.”

 

She nodded then fast-forwarded to the current moments. “This? This is just not possible. Normally. They’re r-r-reading n-negative magic.” Alphys adjusted her glasses and peered harder. “I w-w-would love to st-study this…”

 

“Would have to get their permission. And likely show your notes.”

 

“I-I-I’d be happy to!”

 

I peeked around again and saw that the Being was waving their arms rapidly. Once they caught sight of me the pointed to where we were sitting.

 

“I think they want to see what we’ve seen.”

 

“N-n-no problem!” She shooed me to the exam area again so I could collect our small friend.

 

“Come one, come all, hand taxi awaits.”

 

They rolled their eyes again but gave me a smile in spite of that. When I deposited the Tiny Void (Mostly) Scientist onto the counter they quickly became enraptured by the display.

 

“S-s-say, you told me about a hidden report?”

 

“Rep- OH! Right, one moment.” I pulled out my home-universe phone and picked through to my notes. “Ah, here we go. ‘ _ Entry Number Seventeen. Dark, darker, yet darker. The darkness keeps growing. The shadows cutting deeper. Photons readings negative. The next exp- _ ’.”

 

“Y-yeah, that one! What… what if what happened to them was what c-c-caused the negative photon reading?” Alphys hopped out of her chair and started to pace. Voidy pulled themselves away from the screen to watch her with me.

 

“Th-th-they came from this Void place, right? And you said it was a big dark area?”

 

“Extremely. As in, what most people think a black hole is dark.”

 

She nodded once and kept her pace going. “Wh-wh-what if that place corrupted their magic so much that it turned it  _ negative _ ?”

 

I looked to them and they looked to me. They gave me an encouraging nod. “They think that’s plausible.”

 

“I-I-I would have to run a few more tests… and maybe… hm… I could….”

 

We lost Alphys then. She was in the science zone, and completely ignored the both of us as she gathered more materials and equipment, muttered to herself and kept grabbing her clipboard to jot down some notes only to toss it aside moments later.

 

I kicked back in a chair and watched her work. Far from the stuttering mess she usually let herself get into, Alphys was a nearly laser-focused well-oiled machine of theories. I had to snag the Void Being out of the way though when she dumped a heap of electronics where they were sitting.

 

“Sooo… how’s them going negative translate to being invisible?”

 

The dino-lizard-lady stopped in her tracks and gave me a dumbfounded expression. “Huh, what? Wh-wh-what are you doing here, I thought you went home.”

 

I giggled. “No no, we’ve been watching you work. How’s them being negative, if they are, mean they’d be invisible? And to everyone but me?”

 

“Uhhh…” Alphys clicked a talon on the ground while she bounced a couple of the circuit boards she had in her arms. “I… I don’t know.”

 

The Void Being started to tug on my shirt. I looked down and several of their free arms pointed back at the room.

 

“They… want me to go back to the room?” 

 

They nodded! 

 

“Cause of the magic reader thing?” 

 

They nodded even more!

 

“Cause of the magic reader thing.” I set them on the table and walked back into the exam room yet again.

 

“I’m ready for my close-up, Mrs. Director.”

 

Alphys poked her head around the doorway. “Come again?”

 

“I was quoting Gloria Swanson.”

 

Her confusion got worse.

 

“N-nevermind.”

 

Alphys shook her head and focused back on her computers. I kicked back in the exam chair and waited.

 

“Oh-oh-oh wow…”

 

_ Five GP says that this is where she tells me I have- _

 

“Y-y-you have some of those spots like they have in their body!”

 

“Huh.”  _ Okay, not quite what I was thinking. _

 

“A-a-and you still have residual magic in your fingers!”

 

_ Fingers? Really? _

 

“Okay, I’ll bite, I have  _ what _ ?”

 

“Y-y-yes! You most definitely have magic fingers!”

 

_ WELP! If Undyne heard that I’m dead! _

 

“And how exactly did I end up with, er, ‘magic fingers’?”

 

Alphys flew out of her chair and skittered over to me. Her snout was practically touching my nose she was so close.

 

“I-I-I-I have NO IDEA! But you know what it means?”

 

“....No?”

 

“I have  _ two subjects!  _ F-f-f-f-for  _ TWO EXPERIMENTS TOTAL!!” _ Alphys started doing that eyebrow waggle of hers. “And you get to be in both of them.”

 

_ Hoo dear. _

 

\---

 

“Then she started plugging all those diodes and sucker-things all over me again, and started running test after test after test after  _ test _ . It was… brrrr!”

 

By this point in time it was late in the evening. I was back in my room at the inn and sitting on my bed. 

 

Shirley had apparently gotten worried that I was gone so long since I told her I was gonna try to be back in the mid-afternoon area. She contacted her sister and Toriel, who were both out getting groceries and the like, and had them come check on me.

 

They had to splash Alphys with a few calming bullets so she’d simmer down and let me go home. Even the Void Being had been a bit unnerved by the sheer energy she displayed at the time.

 

“Goodness. Sounds like she had let herself get into that ‘science zone’ of hers again,” Toriel said with a bit of sympathy in her voice. The goat-dragon-momma handed me a small cup of tea.

 

“Thanks.” I held onto the cup and let it cool a bit. “But it was interesting to find out what is going on, or at least get started finding out what all is going on.”

 

“I can imagine, sugar.” The shopkeep gave me a grin and patted me on the head. “Glad to know you’re okay. I gotta get to bed, and I imagine that Toriel needs to get home too.”

 

“Indeed I do. Frisk is staying the night at Monster Kids’ home tonight, so that is one less worry. So to speak.”

 

I yawned and sipped my tea. It was a calming flavor, kinda like that sleepy-time stuff. “Thanks to you both. I think she’ll be a bit more restrained next time.”

 

_ Though holy cow, Undyne is lucky to have the stamina that she does. Hoo doggies. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The (psuedo)science has been UNLEASHED!
> 
> Well, kinda, we had to leash it back up lest it rampage through the neighborhoods, cause untold amounts of damage, chase the cats, slobber on the kids, and subsequently pee on every tree, fire-hydrant and unlikable politician in sight.
> 
> .....
> 
> ANYWAYS!
> 
> Micbunny was a huge help in this chapter, and I thank her muchly for it.
> 
>  
> 
> Speaking of, Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). She's posted a second chapter, so if you folks would give it a read-over and a comment, I am sure she'd be very grateful :D
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) Sharp-eyed readers might catch things...
> 
>  
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	7. The Science Zone is a Dangerous Place

It was a… positively dreary Sunday. Grey clouds had rolled into town overnight and now everything was covered in a dull silvery light. To make things worse, while the clouds kept threatening to storm, or at least rain, nothing was happening. So this made the outdoors more sticky than normal what with the extra humidity and all.

I was taking some time to get my room together and a bit more organized. The Void Being was using their time to snooze some more.

I had just finished getting my dirty laundry into a more presentable pile when there came a knock to my door.

“Yo, come on in.”

I heard the door open and a familiar grumbly voice greeted me.

“sup.”

“Hey sans. How’s things?”

“eh. grey. dreary. perfect snoozing weather for my day off,” sans said as he leaned against the doorway.

“And yet, here you are, away from home, chatting it up with me,” I smirked to the smol skeleton while I folded up a shirt.

“yeah, you know me, always willing to sacrifice so much for the sake of friendships.” He gave me a left-eyed wink.

“Har.”

“heh. i know these piles. paps does this every few days. tell ya what: head with me to our place and get yer laundry done there.”

“You sure?” I held up a particular thing and realized it was a pair of undergarments. “I mean, I was going to just use the machines they have here.”

“i’m inviting you to hang, genius.”

“...Right. Right. Sure, we can do that!”

sans chuckled. “i’ll wait for ya downstairs. tootles.”

“What, not gonna help me out?”

“can’t hear you, soundproofing too good.”

I rolled my eyes and gathered up my dirty laundry. After I got them into a basket I tapped the Void Being on the shoulder. “Hey. Heading to sans'. Wanna come with?”

They stared up at me bleerily. 

“Might be fun?”

They rubbed their chin with one of the many hands. After a few seconds they shook their head and pointed at their makeshift bed.

“Gonna catch up on some sleep then?” They nodded. “Fair enough. Must be good, in a way, to feel sleepiness again, huh?”

They gave me a tired smile, a small nod, and curled up into their towel-blanket.

“Sleep well, and see you later.” A hand poked out from under the fabric and waved good bye. I picked up my basket and headed down the stairs.

True to his word sans was waiting for me in the lobby and was snacking away on a cinnabunny. He kinda stood out as the lone skeleton in the crowd of people. Matter of fact, in the last few days, the inn had been completely packed with people. Guess I finally got to see their popularity in action.

“Oop, pardon me. Pardon. ‘Scuse me. OOF! Hey, watch it buddy!”

I lifted the basket over my head and tried to push through the ocean of humans and monsters. A few seconds in and I felt the familiar tingle of blue magic. A quick tug and I was up in the air and floated over the crowd.

sans let me down semi-gently when I got to the clear patch near him.

“Oof! Thanks sans.”

“no prob.”

I brushed myself off and leaned over to where Shirley was handling things. “I’ll be back later?”

“Okay hun! Have fun, and be safe!”

“see ya shirley. they might end up staying the night, if paps has anything to say about it.”

She grinned. “Then definitely have fun with that.”

“Room’s good, don’t have to worry about mine.”

“Oh thank you, hun. Bye!”

sans and I waved our goodbyes and strolled out onto the sidewalk.

“you wanna walk there, or do you want a shortcut or two?”

“You’ve got shortcuts here too?”

“yep.”

“Shocker. How long did that take you.”

sans counted out a few fingers. “three and a half months. and that’s just for the places i want to be.”

“Just in town?”

“just in town,” he confirmed.

“Huh.” I closed my eyes and waited. Didn’t do so for long, seeing as a couple skeletal fingers and a thumb gripped my sleeve.

“okay, we’re here.”

I opened my eyes…

And found the Boney Bro’s home, almost exactly the same as it was in Snowdin!

Just… mirrored vertically. What once was left is now right and so forth.

“Uhhhh….”

“i wanted a change, paps wanted the same, so we bargained.”

“Uhh… huhhh… okay then.” I shrugged and let sans lead me into the house.

The inside was almost the same save for a few differences. Besides the mirroring of course. The kitchen had a normal leveled sink, there was an extra stairwell leading down, and behold!

A single sock sitting up against a wall.

“I coulda sworn you picked up your sock.”

“i did. that’s a totally different sock that just happens to look the same.”

“And where’s the trail of post-it notes?”

“paps let me leave it there as a concession for him being allowed to help clean my room once a month.”

“That much?”

“hey, I get it more often than that. he just joins me during that once-a-month cleaning,” sans argued with a huff.

I chuckled. “Alrighty, you got me here. Where’s the washer? Don’t want this stuff to get much more rank.”

“what have you been doing in those things?”

“You know us meat-puppets.” I shuffled the basket so it didn’t make my fingers go to sleep any more. “Sweat, oils, so forth.”

“yep. nasty, nasty humans.”

“Oh hush. I remember the ketchup smells in your hoodie.”

sans gave me a “pfff” and thumbed over to the downward stairwell. “this way, smelly human.”

“Yeah yeah, you bag of bones,” I countered with a smirk.

I followed him downstairs and into the basement-slash-laundry room. He had a pretty nice looking set-up for his clothes-washing. The two machines were very up-to-date and there was a small area dedicated for air-drying.

“Not bad.”

“moment he could, paps totally splurged on the machines. i helped when i could. said he needed the best of the best for his best of the best brothers. so cool.”

“Agreed.” I started shoving my darks into the washer first. “Coolest cinnamon roll out there.”

I got the setup finished, dumped in the detergent that sans pointed out (“paps made it with a recipe he found online. works wonders and way less price”) and got things going.

“There we go.”

“yup. okay, no more subtlety. follow me.”

He waved a hand and I did in fact follow him. sans led me to an unassuming part of the wall.

“check this out.” He knocked on the wall, and it sounded pretty solid. But then he brought out a silver key. With a right-eyed wink he slid it into the wall. A second later a section dissolved away.

He walked inside and beckoned me to do the same. The moment I crossed the threshold the wall reformed behind me.

“Hidden dark room. Smells like a trap.”

“oh ha ha ha. close your eyes.”

I did and not a split second later did he turn on the lights. I cracked one eye open.

It was his hidden room. Unlike the rest of the house, it was facing the same direction as the original place. The only thing that was missing were the stairs going upwards.

“How did you-?”

“same wall magic as what was used in waterfall. remember the passage that could only be seen by touching it? same principle.” sans ran a hand against the wall we came through. “old technique, just like with the background-music thing. don’t think even the queen or king remember how to do it.”

I thought about that for a second. “So how do you?”

“...i dunno. just comes to me. lots of stuff just comes to me.”

“Deja vu type stuff?”

“kinda. anyways. unlike anyone getting a chance to touch, you have to use this key.” He held up the silvery key up between his index phalange and his thumb. “and i have the only copy.”

“Papyrus know about this place?” I ventured.

“nah. not yet. eventually though. told him about you.”

“He mentioned that.” I let my eyes trail from the wall-entrance to the drawings on the wall, to the biggest elephant in the room.

“That’s the machine, eh?”

“yup.” sans shuffled over and patted the device through the cloth covering it. “been in my basement as long as i can remember in a place that i only knew about with a compulsion to try and fix it that i had no idea why i had it. well, not till you told me about the buddy from between.”

He waved to a chair and took one for himself. I plopped myself down and found that they were surprisingly comfy.

“Take it you don’t want to just hang, huh?”

“i do, but there are some things that my curiosity just won’t let go, and your return has rekindled.”

I nodded. “Alright, fair enough. I’ll answer what I can.”

“thanks.”

sans breathed in and took a far more serious stance than I thought possible. Outside of… that run, anyways.

“First off. You said you had a connection with us via that game thing. What happened to it when you got back?”

I tapped my knuckles with a forefinger. “For me, the link that I had went… ehhh, dead? Kinda? The options to undo or even continue anything was obliterated. I got the capability to read your message over and over though.”

“Read it?” His eyebrow molded upwards. “I made a verbal message.”

“It translated it into text. And it gave me a pixelated picture of your mug. With varying emotions throughout.”

“Hm. The other thing is that I tried to send it to Papyrus’ phone.”

I shook my head. “That thing disappeared into the void. Buddy Between had it. Ooor according to them they got it back and held onto it. The message ended up on my computer.”

“Where the program was.”

“Yep.”

sans shifted in his seat and pulled out a small notepad. “Gonna start taking notes.”

“Cool beans.”

He jotted down a few things. After a few scribbles he focused back on me.

“Just to clarify, are they one being or many?”

“Many. Ish. More like a bunch of fragments that meshed together to have some semblance of sanity in the eternal dark.”

sans nodded and jotted down some more. “But the majority focus is on the being that once knew me? At least in this timeline?”

“Maybe. They knew you in a timeline, so them knowing you in this timeline already makes the once-in-infinity shot even more difficult to believe.”

sans set his pen down. “Okay, one-in-infinity? Come again?”

I scratched the back of my head. “This is gonna sound a little weird so bear with me.”

“Bearing away.”

A chuckle escaped my lips despite myself. “There’s two phrases? Or a statement and a philosophy? That’s in play here. First off the guy who built the ‘game’ said point blank that you would never get the machine working. Ever.”

“Well damn.”

“Yep. At the same time, Flowey… now I can’t remember if this was player fanon or canon or what, but I think he said something akin to ‘If I lose all the battles I don’t fight, then I will never stop trying to take back the timeline. Cause all it takes is for me to win once.’ Something like that.”

“Sounds like the little weed,” sans grumbled darkly.

“Well, here’s the thing. In that kinda instance, you and him are the same.”

His eyelight snuffed out right then. “W h a t ?”

“He wouldn’t give up on taking back the timeline. No matter how much he lost.”

I pointed to the machine. sans’s gaze followed.

“You didn’t give up on fixing that thing. No matter how much you lost. But there’s a difference here.”

“I won. Once.”

“Just the once, and look what happened.”

sans tapped the pad with his pen. “Huh. That’s a weird connection.”

“Indeed it is.”

The skeleton went silent for a small time.

“Alright. Then what about that ‘other being’ you hinted at?”

_Ohhh crudballs of course that thing comes up._

“I really have very little clue about them. With the Void-Being, they at least had a semblance of a person in the form of a mystery ‘dummied out’ character in the game stuff. That thing? Hooo…”

I shifted in my seat to lean towards sans.

“That thing, and I emphasize that it’s a thing not a person, is not like a monster. Not like a human. It’s like… I don’t know, thought and emotion given form. And it decided to form into a homage to the worst possible ending of the worst chain of decision making in your universe.”

“....Where everyone dies.”

“And not just in the Underground.” I breathed hard and soldiered on. “sans, at the end of it, they had enough LOVE in their SOUL to shatter the freaking timeline.”

The pen and pad fell out of his hands. “T h e y W H A T ! ?”

“Gone. Totally gone. Hell, for anyone to ‘undo’ what they did they would have had to dig deep into their own machines to get things back to ‘normal’. And even then, with what they had to do, it was basically akin to just adopting another timeline and likely repeating the fucking thing!”

sans put a hand to his face. “...They just… destroyed that line?”

“They got the ball rolling. And that thing that was locked in between was… is getting stronger from every time someone tries it, succeeds, fails, or even watches what happens.”

If sans had any skin it probably would have gone completely white.

“My god… how… why would someone…?”

“Because to them, this?” I waved hand around the room and to the world beyond. “They think it’s all just a game. Hell, maybe the person who came up with the accidental link thought it was just a game too.”

“This takes the whole multiversal thing to a very disturbing level.”

“Tell me about it.”

sans was breathing a little heavily and gripped into his eyesocket a little. I reached over to try and comfort him but he waved me off. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I just need to take a minute and think about this.”

I waited for him to regain his composure. A few minutes later he leaned back with a sigh.

“Okay. Okay, I’m good. Alright. Back to the demon. You said it’s built from this stuff?”

“More like the emotions and decisions in the process, but kinda. They even took the form of the nines that would fill the screen. Or at least used the nines in their form.”

“Hrm. And you said it was still there in the space between?”

“And very much not happy.”

“Wwwwonders.” He facepalmed again. “Okay. Might have to deal with that later.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” I ventured.

“...Meaning?”

“I think they needed me as a means to get to any sort of side. Hells, they were offering me a chance to ‘undo’ everything and go through the Underground again.”

“And probably bring itself over like your friend did.”

I waggled a finger. “Given how surprised they were, I think their return was a fluke. But the other being seemed to be counting on it. That said, the demon-thing seemed to need me as a means to cross over.”

“But you’re here.” sans started to grin more honestly. “And you’re here to stay as far as we know.”

“Yep.”

sans picked up his pad and pen. “Okay, so less doom-and-gloom. Alright, yeah, I can work with that.”

He started to write some more. It was funny. Kinda like with Alphys, when sans got into his little zone, he was a totally different monster.

“Alright. That’s handled. Now.” He straightened himself up again and peered into my eyes.

“What’s your world like?”

“...Hoo boy…”

\---

“...So there’s been a few wars, quite a few political scuffles, and our leaders can be jackasses, but for the most part things are… eh? Okay? Ish?”

“So much ish in your world. Sheesh.” He scribbled some more. “Big difference here with this side. Fewer wars, fewer… issues. Don’t get me wrong, they exist but not to that degree. Least we have that going for us.”

“I… okay, I hate saying this but I guess the folks on this side got the most of their aggression out thanks to the big war way back when.”

sans shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe.”

I stretched in my chair. “Ugh, ow, how long have we been talking?”

The skeleton shook back his sleeve and checked out his right wrist. “huh. about four hours. might need to wrap this up.”

“Yeah no kidding. My clothes are probably stewing right now.”

“eh, they’ll be fine.” sans stood up and popped his back into place.

“Holy crud!”

“yeah, i figured out a technique after watching you. paps hates it, but i gotta say, it feels marvelous.” A quick twist and sans was satisfied. “ahh. okay, come on, let’s get outta here.”

He pressed the key against the wall and led us out. “funny thing, i didn’t mean to lead to such a dark discussion. i just wanted to know a few things.”

“Definitely know now.”

“yeah, no kidding.”

“Mind if I ask you a question?”

“eh, fair enough. shoot.”

I scratched my chin. “Why are you so willing to be open with me?”

sans stopped short.

“I mean, the sans I know of via the game-side of stuff, as well as the sans I knew about a year ago, you were way more closed off. Now? Now you’re willing to actually show that much of a degree of… not weakness, but… uhm…”

“I get what you’re going for.” sans leaned against a regular bit of the wall. “I guess… heh. You worked hard to get us out, then you apparently stared down something that wanted to shred our timeline apart just because it could? Yeah, you’re a person I can be a bit open with.”

He pushed off the wall and walked over to his washer. Before I could stop him he started to remove the clothes and put them into the dryer.

“Besides, I’ve been talking to someone. And that someone helped me realize just how closed off I’ve been. I’m still working on it. But you and Paps? Toriel? And to a small degree, Alphys? You folks kinda, I dunno, deserve to be in the know of how I feel.”

I smiled warmly. “Thanks sans.”

“ah, don’t mention it. ‘sides.” sans held up one of my dark undergarments. “you let me handle this, so…”

“HEY!”

\---

I stared down my opponent.

He stared right back.

sans and I were on opposite sides of the living room. He was near the door. I was near the stairs.

I narrowed my eyes.

He squinted at me in return.

A dust bunny rolled between us.

“You can back down now sans. No shame.”

“nah, there’s gonna be tons of shame. when you lose.”

My fingers twitched.

sans’ curled up into fists.

The grandfather clock in the corner started to gong loudly.

“Fish are hard to have fun with cause they sleep with wet blankets.”

“hardly they know how to have a whale of a time.”

“Yeah, well, their choice in style has always been off the scale so I can agree to a point.”

“it’s easy to get hooked on their fashion lines.”

“This is knot the time to get carried away with fabrics.”

“sew what? i like ‘em.”

“Don’t string me along, you barely know fashion.”

“i could spin you a yarn about the fashions i’ve lived through.”

“You’re just trying to pull the wool over my eyes.” 

“don’t be sheepish. could help you out with it.”

“Ewe don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“don’t chicken out on me.”

“And don’t you egg me on.”

“yolk’s on you, you’re already interested.”

“Like shell I am.”

“no use turtling, i got you on the ropes.”

“You know tying’s impossible, right?”

“i dunno, you seem to be leaving me hanging.”

“Ooh, nice try, but that’s a swing and a miss.”

“that was totally a home run.”

“It was totally a fowl.”

“there is no way you are going to make me go cold turkey.”

“Just wait, you’ll be ducking for cover.” 

“your wordplay is going to ground there.”

“You’d be shocked to see how much I have in me.”

“you think you’re soooo electrifying.”

“I bring a certain spark to the party, yes.”

“you’re just a flash in the pan.”

“Fork off, I can last way longer.”

“knife to know, but you’re still going to lose.”

“Better sharpen your wits if you want to win, Mr. Skeleton.”

“not gonna throw me a bone, then?”

“Tibia honest… No.”

“AND WE HAVE THE WINNER!”

“GAH!!!” sans and I both jumped to the side. 

sans hit the wall.

I went tumbling down the stairs.

“OH NO! THE HUMAN!”

I rolled, tumbled and finally landed back in the basement. “...Ow.”

“HUMAN! ARE YOU WELL!? HOW MANY GLOVES DO YOU SEE!? WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GREATEST POLICE CAPTAIN!? DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!?”

“Ow… In pain, one, Papyrus, lying on the floor of your basement, and THE HUMAN THAT KICKED SANS’ TAILBONE! OOOOOH!!!”

“CORRECT, CORRECT, TECHNICALLY CORRECT, AND YES YOU DID INDEED!”

“pfft, whatever. another round or two and i’d have gotcha,” sans groused with a grin on his face. He offered me a helping hand despite that tone of his. I accepted and was hauled up in a jiffy.

“SANS! THEY HAD TRICKED YOU INTO GOING INTO SKELETON PUNS! YOU HAD AT BEST A ROUND LEFT BEFORE YOUR WELL WOULD HAVE BEEN TAPPED!”

“Washed up.”

“DOWN THE DRAIN!”

“Hung to dry.”

“THROWING IN THE TOWEL!”

“okay okay, i got it! eesh, even my own brother. woe is me…” sans went into the most perfect prima-donna-princess pose. It was complete with the back of his hand to his forehead, a leg popped up, and his head tilted backwards.

“even my own brother out-puns me. truly, truly today is the darkest. ohhh…” sans fell backwards and Papyrus was there in an instant to catch him.

“NAY BROTHER! TWAS MERELY MY ATTEMPT AT YOUR WONDERFUL WORD JAPERY! I SAW YON HUMAN AND YOURSELF ENGAGED IN SUCH JOCULAR VERBAL SWORDPLAY, AND I THOUGHT TO MINE SELF, ‘ALAS! PAPYRUS! WHY MUST YOU CONSTRAIN YOUR DESIRE SO! PARTAKE IN THEIR MERRIMENT!’ AND THUS! WHEN I FOUND MY OPENING! I THRUST MY OWN WEAPON TO THE FRAY! BUT LO, I SEEM TO HAVE CUT YOU TO THE QUICK! OH DEAR BROTHER, PLEASE! I ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS!”

sans kept his eyes closed and said nothing for a good two minutes. Then his cheekbones twitched.

“eh. okay.”

“HOORAY!” sans was tossed up into the air and caught into a hug.

“Awww…”

“oh hush. or i’ll tell paps about your unders.”

“WHAT’S THAT ABOUT HUMAN UNDERS?!”

“you know.” sans pointed before I could stop him. “those human unders.”

“sans I am going to kill you.”

“OH! THOSE HUMAN UNDERS! THEY LOOK DASHING! AND RAVISHING! AND STILL A LITTLE WET… SANS, DID YOU PUT THEM IN THE DRYER AT ALL???”

“uh, no, you told me-.”

“BAH! I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP BUT LEAVE THE DELICATES TO ME! AFTER ALL! NONE CAN TAKE CARE OF UNDERS LIKE THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

“Paps no I can take care of my own-!”

\---

“sans let me down from the ceiling.”

“nah. you still have that look on your face.”

“The ‘I am going to throttle you’ look?”

“that’s the one.”

I was pressed up against the living room ceiling like a human kite. Or poster. Papyrus was finishing up the laundry downstairs while sans kept me ‘occupied’.

“what’s the magic word?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

“what is?”

“It is.”

“it is not the magic word.”

“No, what is.”

“that’s for you to guess.”

“And I did.”

“when?”

“I said what is the magic word.”

“no you didn’t.”

“Fine, I confirmed what is the magic word.”

“again, no you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. What is the magic word.”

“why are you asking me? you’re the one stuck on the ceiling!”

“And that is why I am telling you what is the magic word!”

“you haven’t told me the magic word!”

“I just told you what is the magic word!”

“paps!”

“YES?”

“i need your help up here!”

Papyrus catapulted up the stairs in less than a second.

“I AM HERE!”

“Hey Paps. Tell sans that I told him what is the magic word.”

“no way, i asked them what is the magic word first!”

“And I answered you!”

“no you didn’t!”

“HUMAN, STOP VEXING MY BROTHER AND TELL HIM WHAT IS THE MAGIC WORD!”

“What is the magic word!”

“stop saying that!”

“But I am telling you what is the magic word!”

Something clicked in Papyrus’ eye-sockets.

“YOU KNOW, IT’S TRUE! THEY ARE TELLING YOU WHAT IS THE MAGIC WORD SANS!”

“not you too!”

“Papyrus, just tell him the magic word.”

“WHAT.”

“...you heard the human, they said-”

“WHAT.”

sans’ eyelights went dark. “don’t tell me you-”

“WHAT. IS THE. MAGIC WORD.” Papyrus leaned waaaaay down and got face to face with his shorter brother. “SANS.”

I could practically see the lightbulb go off in sans’ mind.

“oh. ohhh. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i see what you did there.”

“Not for the longest time you didn’t!”

sans glared at me and let me drop right onto the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed. So. So. Much.
> 
> Can you guess my favorite comedy duo?  
> MicBunny and Liatai both gave me plenty of encouragement about the nature of the first half of the chapter. I always worry about the 'recappy' stuff, but there's a method to my madness, I am sure of it.
> 
> And they both helped me plenty with the second half, especially Liatai with pun additions and Papyrus flares :D
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). There's more to come, I can tell. A read and a friendly word would do wonders for her :D
> 
>  
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) I wonder if this much punmanship will affect folks in other universes...
> 
>  
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	8. Stop Touching My Unders!

“And I need two of those-” Toriel pointed over towards a barrel

 

“On it.” I stepped around the various wooden bins and picked through various pears.

 

“Ah! A pair!”

 

“That is good, but I need two of them,” Toriel said lightly as she continued to consult her grocery list.

 

“I just said I found a pair.” I held them up in the hopes that she would notice.

 

“Again, that is wonderful, but I need a second pear.” She still did not look away from her list and held up two fingers. Are those fingers? I had no idea.

 

“You want four?” I started to dig around for more of the better looking fruits

 

“No, I just want two pears.” Now I had gotten her attention away from her paper.

 

“Right, so, gimme a moment to find two more.” I plucked a third and fourth one that weren’t too bad. Just needed to ripen a bit.

 

“Two more what?” Toriel’s face started to wrinkle in confusion and worry.

 

“Two more pears, like you want.” I held up the four pears I had so far.

 

“No no no, dear, I need two pears, not six,” the goat-dragon-momma replied as she walked over to me.

 

“Who said anything about six pairs? I was only going to do three!” I set the ones I had into her basket and started to dig for another two.

 

“I do not need three pears, I just need two!” She plucked two of the four I hunted for and put them back.

 

“So four pears then?” I paused to let her finish.

 

“No, just two pears!” I swear I saw the paper in her paws start to blacken.

  
“I was only going to do two pairs, the you upped the number!” I put my hands on my hips. Toriel countered with a glare and an arm-cross.

 

“You clearly just handed me four pears!” Folks around us were starting to stare. And a couple were starting to giggle besides.

 

“Wh- no, I only handed you four, not eight! Only two pairs!” I gave the fruit in her basket a rather fierce point.

 

Toriel sputtered. “Make up your mind, were you trying to hand me two or four pears?!”

 

“I was trying to get just one pair, then you told me you needed two!”

 

Toriel huffed through her nostrils. “I only needed a single pair of-.... Oh. Ohhhh my!”

 

The goat-dragon lady started snorting and giggling up a storm.

 

“Wh- what’s up?”

 

“My dear hahahahaha, I only needed a pair of pears!”

 

It took me a few moments to parse the sentence. When it clicked?   
  


“Pfffft! Okay, wow!”

 

Toriel had to use a nearby barrel to keep stable.

 

“Ohhh owww, okay, I got it. I got it!” I pushed up my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose as the Ex-Queen kept laughing it up. “I spent way too much time with sans on Sunday.”

 

Toriel hiccuped and tried to straighten herself out. “Ohh my I needed that. These four will do.”

 

“I though you only needed a pair?” I asked with an eyebrow wiggle.

 

She just snorted. “Hush, or we’ll never get this list finished.”

 

I still felt a little odd about our excursion. Earlier today I was helping Shirley with a few burnt out bulbs when Toriel walked in from out of the blue.

 

“Hey Toriel. What’s happening?” I asked from atop a stool

 

“Not much, to be honest. I was taking a stroll while Frisk spent today at Monster Kid’s house again. I was nearby and decided I fancied a visit.” 

 

“Mighty kind of ya. Gimme a few shakes so I can finish up these bulbs. I think someone decided to play ‘mini-rave’ with them last night.” I popped off another and tossed it into the bin near me.

 

“No worries. Shirley around?”

 

I pointed with my elbow. “Next room over, I think the mini-raver hit most of the rooms before they grew bored.”

 

Toriel gave me a sweet smile and walked off. Oh how I did not know how much that sweet smile was hiding.

 

No more than a few minutes later did Toriel come back and with a proclamation to boot.

 

“Human, you are to remove yourself from that stool and accompany me to the stores I need to visit. The Ex-Queen demands it!” Toriel said in her deepest, most commanding voice.

 

“W-wha, really?” Nearly fell off my stool at that.

 

“That and I got permission from Shirley to use you for the rest of the day. So come on, hop off, day is wasting away!”

 

And so I found myself grocery shopping with the biggest mother-hen from the Underground. We picked the pairs of pears a bit more properly and we both made a silent agreement to get out of the produce section.

 

“Okay, miss Tor-”

 

“Dear, it is fine if you call me just ‘Toriel’. And before you say it,” Toriel interrupted the obvious joke I was about to use, “Just the name ‘Toriel’, nothing before it.”

 

I closed my mouth.  _ Darn. _

 

She just giggled some more.

 

“Alright, you got me. But I wanted to know, did you really walk around town and just happened to end up at the Inn like you did?”

 

Toriel’s smile faded just a little. “Admittedly… no.”

 

“Oh?”

 

One of her thumbs rubbed against the can of soup she had picked up. “I wanted to spend some time with you. Maybe engage in some of those discussions you have had with sans about the nature of the world. Or rather the nature of the world that you saw from your side.”

 

“Hoo dear, more viewpoint shattering stuff?” While I was happy to tell folks what they wanted to know it was starting to get to me with how often they looked shocked. And not the good kind of shocked.

 

“Yes. And no.” Toriel put the can back and chose a different one. “I also wished to, what is that phrase? Hang out? Yes, hang out with you. Of the monsters that you have developed a particular kinship with, I was the one you stayed around the least. Save for Gorey, of course.”

 

I thought back to my adventure in the Underground. She was right.

 

“I getcha. I like that idea, Toriel. Thankya.” I picked a different can of a different soup and held it out for her to inspect.

 

“For what?” She took the can and deemed it worthy of being placed in her basket.

 

“For wanting to spend more time with me. I appreciate that,” I said as I snagged another can of chicken and stars. “Try this one, I liked it when I was younger.”

 

She looked at the label. “No no no, way too much sodium.”

 

“Wha, really?” She held the can out for me to investigate. “Holy crudballs! That’s a point against this universe! Send me back, they ruined the soup!”

 

Toriel giggled some more as she replaced the can from whence it came. “We can likely make our own dear. Do not give up on us for this one slight.”

 

“Hm. Fine! But if I find out they have ruined the falafel here too, I am going to rip open the fabric of the multiverse and go back to the one I came from!”

 

Toriel snickered harder. “How dramatic.”

 

I gave her the most hammy grin I could muster.

 

We made our way out of the soups and stews aisle and towards the cereals. When we got there we noticed just how full the basket had gotten and I ran off to gather a cart to use.

 

Just about anything that was completely loaded in sugar was ignored. That said, I noticed that Toriel kept going back to a brand in particular.

 

“Hmm. It really is not the best. And yet…”

 

“Toriel, if you want that cereal, go for it. Little sugar never hurt anyone.” I looked up from the box of oatmeal I was checking out and saw I was given quite the stern look. “I said little. Lots is when it gets harmful.”

 

“Yes, and that is why I am debating on whether or not to get it,” Toriel responded with a sigh. “But it is something Frisk likes and she has been asking to get some more.”

 

“Has it been awhile since she last had it?” I asked as I replaced the oatmeal.

 

“About two months.”

 

“Then again, I say go for it.” I plucked the box out of her paw and put it in her cart. “Good kiddo deserves it as far as I know, and two months is long enough in my opinion.”

 

Toriel cast a slightly dark look at the cereal but relented after a moment. “That is fair. But I will make it known that it is a thing to be eaten sparingly.”

 

I chuckled. “That is completely fair.” As we started to make our way to juices and the like I gave Toriel a nudge. “How’s Frisk been? I mean, I’ve seen her a couple times, but how was she before I made my jump?”

 

“Frisk has been well. She’s grown to be a bit more talkative than she used to be. Though when it came to myself sans and especially Papyrus, she was always a chatterbox.”

 

“No odd behaviors?”

 

Toriel gave me a suspicious glance. “No. Should I be aware of something?”

 

I rubbed the back of my neck. “You’ve likely figured out that she was the child avatar, right?”

 

She nodded. “Yes. I did. I had a feeling that she was when Frisk ran up to us and smiled as though she was seeing new friends all over again.” Toriel read the label of a juice bottle and set it back quickly. “Though to her credit she did tell me as best as she could what had happened.”

 

“Yeah. Poor kiddo. Can’t imagine what it would be like to have those impulses.”

 

Toriel lingered on another juice bottle. “She said… it was like watching the world through someone else’s body. Feeling someone else’s impulses drive you rather than your own. For a time she said she tried to fight it off, but after awhile she just gave in and went through the motions. Even the urge to get to the mountain became second nature to her.”

 

I swallowed hard.  _ Great freaking crud. Now I feel even worse about the True Resets… _

 

“She did say, though, from what she remembers? She almost always had a happier ending. A few times, she… the person controlling her gained some EXP. But it was much rarer than when she had none.”

 

A breath I didn’t realize I was holding rushed out of my lips. “Oh thank goodness. I mean, yes, bad she had to go through… but she didn’t deal with…?”

 

“No. Not once.”

 

_ Small miracles! _

 

“I believe there are some lingering effects however,” Toriel stated as she finally picked the juice she wanted.

 

“Do tell?” I replaced the one she picked with a different bottle. I pointed out why via the ingredients list.

 

“She is still very susceptible to instructions, almost impulsively. And she tends to mimic what I do.”

 

I chuckled. “Toriel, that sounds like a good kiddo to me. And it’s adorable when she does that.”

 

Toriel gave a deep giggle. “I suppose she is, and Frisk is definitely a wonderful child. I just fear that she will remain vulnerable to outside suggestions.”

 

I pondered on that as we turned into the next aisle. “Hm. Has she really done what everyone besides you says?”

 

Toriel shook her head. “No. Frisk tends to shy away from folks that she does not know well enough.”

 

“Then there ya go, it’s her being a good kiddo.”

 

“I do hope it is that simple…” Toriel reached over me and grabbed a trash bag box. “I believe I will continue to have her see the therapist sans recommended though.”

 

“Oh, right, the whole depersonalization thing… yeah, good call. You’re a good mom, you know that?”

 

Toriel’s cheek-fuzz went red.  _ So that’s how you blush with fur! _

 

“Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment.”

 

I rubbed the back of my neck as a subject was brought to my mind. “I’m, uh, I really am sorry about what happened to… to your first two kids. It was terrible, and no one should… you know….”

 

The blush disappeared and Toriel seemed to deflate a fair bit. “I… thank you for that sentiment as well. Asriel’s passing was something I was not….” Toriel breathed in with a shudder. “I miss them both terribly. I have since found out about their plan with Asriel, as well as Asriel’s resistance. Not to mention As- Flowey’s disturbance of the timeline.”

 

I patted Toriel’s shoulder. “On the bright side, kind of? Most of the folks in the world I came from tend to interpret what they did as an attempted heroic sacrifice. To get the folks that were so kind to them a means to escape…”

 

A hard breath pushed out of Toriel’s nostrils. “As good a interpretation as any, now that we can not learn of the reasons behind their actions. I just hope that the two of them are resting peacefully.”

 

I thought back to when I saw Asriel turn to Dust. “Ma’am, I am sure of it.”

 

Toriel smiled lightly. “I appeciate that.” She cleared her throat and tapped her cart. “We must continue in our quest. We can discuss this at length later.”

  
“Good plan.”

 

We had made it to the ice cream area when I felt the need to ask one last major question. At least for the time being.

 

“What, uh, what was their name?”

 

“Hm? Whose name?” Toriel placed the box of drumsticks she had picked into her cart.

 

“The First Child.”

 

“Ah. Their name was Aidan,” she responded simply enough.

 

“Aidan? Huh. Not Chara?”

 

Toriel snickered at that. “Oh, no, they used that too. That was their nickname.”

 

“Huh. Wow.”

 

\---

 

Laden as we were with groceries the trip home was a pretty grueling one. Granted Toriel carried most of the food home, but I still had to carry quite a few bags myself. Luckily for us, Toriel had since made the wise decision to use the tougher reusable bags, so we had no issue of things spilling out.

 

We made it to her nearby home after a decent walk. When we got there we rushed to get the cold things put up before they melted too badly.

 

Once they were taken care of Toriel patted me on the small of my back with a smile. “Go have a seat in the living room. I will handle the rest of this.”

 

“But-”

 

“Go. Sit.” Her mom voice came out as strong as ever and I was suddenly compelled to do what she said.

 

With my butt planted firmly on her soft couch I took the time to check out the place. It was a single-story house, nicely furnished. A fireplace took up a chunk of a wall, and a fairly nice-sized flat-screen television took up another. The couch was plush and tasteful. Toriel’s favorite reading chair had a dedicated corner complete with a small night table. All in all, it was pretty cozy.

 

“Where are your books?” I called out to her.

  
“I will answer your questions in due time, just no yelling across the house,” she answered back.

 

With a shrug I kicked back and relaxed on the couch. About thirty minutes later Toriel joined me with a sigh.

 

“There we go, done. Now, what was your question?”

 

“Your books. Where they be?”

 

“Where are they,” Toriel gently chided. “They are in the next room. I found out that this place had four rooms rather than three, so I decided to make that one a small library.”

 

“Ooh. Good choice. One is Frisk’s room and the other is guest room?” I ventured.

 

“Yes, they are,” Toriel confirmed. She shuffled in her seat and got a bit more relaxed. “I have a few questions for you, if you do not mind answering.”

 

“I can do that.” I turned in my spot so I could face her more fully. “Shoot.”

 

“First off, you have not made a mention of your unseen friend. Are they not with you today?”

 

I shook my head. “No, they decided to sit in the Inn’s Kitchen. Just to sit there and sniff the air. That, and I suspect they are gonna try to sneak a few snacks.”

 

Toriel snickered again. “No doubt. How are they?”

 

“They’re doing fine, I think. Still can’t hear them. Still a little weird that I am the only one to see them, but Alphys thinks that’s cause of the void energy I have contracted. Or something to that effect.”

 

“Void energy?” Toriel’s concerned-mom look came out again.

 

“yeah. Void’s the space between, right? Nothing all around, and I mean  _ nothing _ . Hell, you can’t even fall asleep or feel hunger or even time pass. It’s weird. It all comes down to perception, and eventually that turns to nothing too.”

 

A paw came up to Toriel’s mouth as she listened to me.

 

“It has its own energy too. But it’s more like… anti-energy? Anti-Magic? Something. It makes your ‘levels’ of either go negative. The Void Being is fully basted in the stuff, while I have a few dots here and there.”

 

“That sounds horrid.” I could tell from her posture that Toriel was about to Green Magic me.

 

“Not… really?” I pushed her raised paws back down. “The only effects so far has been the Void Being being basically invisible… and I think they are pulling stuff from other dimensions without knowing it? While I only seem to have the added benefit of seeing them. That’s all.”

 

Toriel did not look entirely convinced but she let the green glow on her paws ebb. “Very well. If you say so.”

 

“There is one other thing you might find interesting.”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “And that would be?”

 

“I have magic fingers.”

 

There was a long silence from her.

 

“Human, if that was an attempt at flirtation, I have heard better.”

 

“I w- no! No no no no no! I mean, I have magical fingers! Or fingers that have residual magic! Not- oh lordy…”

 

Toriel laughed at my blush and gave me a nudge. “I am only joking with you. Residual magic you say?”

 

I nodded. “Yeah. Alphys thinks it’s an aftereffect of the prototype program she created in the phone?” I held it out then put it back in my pocket. “She said to not use it until she can get a proper testing environment, and that would be a week or so cause of other pressing projects.”

 

“Still.” Toriel started down at my hands. “A human with magic again.”

 

“Yeah. Apparently. Or at least tappable magic. Frisk kinda had it too.”

 

The ex-Queen gave me a look. “What kind of magic?”

 

“Time based. I think. There was the ability to SAVE and LOAD, so that she could go back and redo things… or come back after…” I made a quick slice-to-the-throat motion and Toriel glowered darkly. “But that was because the kiddo was filled with tons of Determination. Likely because of the whole avatar aspect.”

 

“I see. But you did not possess this ability?”

 

I shook my head. “Nope. Not enough Determination I guess. But I made it!”

 

“Yes. Yes you did.” Toriel crossed her arms. “I will need to speak to Frisk about that ability.”

 

“Don’t be too hard on her. She likely wasn’t the one to use it much, considering.” I tapped my knee. “That’s also how Flowey was able to do what he did.”

 

“Hm. Yes, Alphys told me about the experiments. She failed to mention that little tidbit.” That dark look of hers got darker still.

 

“Again, I don’t think she knew until too late.”

 

Toriel said nothing.

 

“Anyways, while I wasn’t able to do any SAVEing, I was able to prevent it. So even if Frisk still has the means, I think I might be putting a damper to that too.”

 

Another hard breath pushed through Toriel’s snout. “I do hope so.”

 

I tapped my leg some more. “So… uhm, question for you now!”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Has, uh, has Frisk tried to flirt with you? Or, uh, anyone else for that matter?”

 

Toriel gave a positively weird look. “No… not to my knowledge.” Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”

 

“Because there were a  _ lot _ of options to do so. With variations. With you at the forefront.” I started to shrink down under the force of her gaze. “And Frisk had the interpretation of a flirty kid…?” I said with a meek voice.

 

Toriel’s gaze was akin to steel. My resolve was that of pudding.

 

“No. No flirting from her, not as far as I know. And do not bring that up with her.”

 

“No ma’am, I shall not!”

 

“Really. Flirting at her age.” Toriel crossed her arms. I felt the temperature rise.

 

“We had no idea what her age was! Or is! If you consider-” I stopped short but it was too late.

 

“Consider what?” There was that Queen’s Gaze again.

 

“Uhm. Well, technically, every time the method of which we tapped into this world? Each different instance might be, and likely is, a different timeline? Different stuff overall?”

 

Toriel’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

“I mean, right now, lots of people are likely playing through it again. And I mentioned the bad ending, remember? But there’s no evidence here that suggests it happened. So…”

 

“So there are other Frisks, other Toriels, other Floweys. And all of them being controlled in some measure from people in your universe.” The temperature fell again.

 

“Or in others. There’s no telling how far this rabbit hole goes.” The sick feeling in my gut when I talked about this stuff had come back full force.

 

Toriel ran a paw on her face. “My goodness, that is… that is a lot to take in, indeed.” She looked over to me and put a paw on my forehead. “And from the look of things, it is a subject matter you are having difficulty with as well. We can speak more of it later when you are feeling more up to the task.”

 

“Thanks, Toriel. I can try more if-”

 

“No. Subject is done.”

 

I laughed. “As you command.”

 

“We should move on to other lighter subjects. Wh-?”

 

Toriels attempted question was interrupted by the door opening. “Hi mom!”

 

“Wh- Frisk? Dear one, what are you doing home so early?”

 

Frisk had her back to us as she put her backpack down. Her voice was way more energetic than when I met her the first time.

 

“We were having fun and Monster Kid bet me that they could eat a whole tub of human jelly beans and I said they couldn’t and they said they could and I said no and they said yes so they went over and got the whole jar and ate every one of them then they got really energetic and then they got really ill and then they got-”

 

The young girl stopped her story when she saw me.

 

“Hi,” I said with a wave.

 

“Hi….” she said with a shy voice and an even shyer posture. Her fingers twiddled with one another and her face was pointed down and away.

 

“Ehhh, it’s okay, kiddo. Want to finish the story when I’m not here?” I offered.

 

“N-no I just didn’t see you… sorry…” And there was the small voice again. “They got ill and his parents said they needed to get better, and I came home…”

 

“Goodness, it sounds like you had quite the afternoon. Just how many jellybeans did Kid eat?”

  
“All of them,” Frisk answered with a bit more pep to her speech. In the meantime, Frisk was taking small steps over to where Toriel was sitting.

 

_ A good mathematician’s answer! Nice one. _

 

Once Frisk was in range Toriel leaned over and pick the comparably small girl up and onto her lap. “Better?”

 

Frisk nodded once and curled up into Toriel. I couldn’t help but smile from the adorableness.

 

“Our guest and I were asking each other some questions. Do you have any, Frisk?”

 

She didn’t move for few moments. A small shake of the head was Frisk’s answer.

 

Toriel patted her on the back and focused back on me. “Any more questions for me?”

 

“A few. How’re you liking being a teacher?” I asked with a persisting grin on my face.

 

“It has been rather lovely! I had to go through a quick requisite school for my teaching certificate, but I passed all the classes with ease. I substituted for the remainder of the school year. When it starts up again in a couple months, I will be in charge of a second grade class.”

 

“Neat. You two looking forward to the school year I take it?”

 

Toriel beamed. “I most certainly am.”

 

Frisk however shook her head. “No. I like summer…”

 

“Heh. We all like our summers, kiddo. Right there with ya.”

 

There was the tiniest of smiles on that child’s face before she re-buried herself.

 

“Frisk will be joining the fourth grade,” Toriel informed me. “She has the mental aptitude to be in a higher class, but I do not want to put too much pressure onto her.”

 

“That’s pretty cool. I take it monster children are being accepted as well?”

 

Toriel nodded. “For the sake of academics, yes. But magic training is still to be done at home.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

Frisk piped up again. “Magic training is funny.”

 

“Oho? Do tell.”

 

There was definitely a smile on her face. “They make funny faces to concentrate.”

 

I rubbed my chin. “What kind of funny faces?”

 

Frisk closed her eyes and stuck her tongue out the corner of her mouth. I cracked up a little and so did Toriel.

 

“Oh my, that is rather accurate!”

 

The small girl giggled and started to get a bit more comfortable on Toriel’s lap.

 

“Hey, who knows, you might be able to try out magic someday too.”

 

“Really…?” she gasped with a small voice.

 

“Maybe. Alphys helped me do it. And she might be able to help other humans do it too.”

 

Frisk looked up at Toriel. “I could do fire stuff…?”

 

Toriel smiled. “Maybe. Some day. But you have to do your human magic first.”

 

“Mooooom, math is not human magic,” Frisk huffed with her arms crossed.

 

“You turn a three and a four into a seven. That is quite a bit of magic to me,” Toriel countered with a nose nuzzle to boot. Frisk broke out into giggles.

 

“Are there any subjects you are looking forward to?” I asked to the kid.

 

She started to twiddle her fingers again. “...Science… reading.”

 

“Good stuff.” To Toriel I focused. “What are you looking forward to?”

 

“Me? Simply the joy of teaching.”

 

“Heh. Alright, fair enough.” I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Welp, I don’t want to get in y’all’s way any longer. Might as w-”

 

My attempt to get up was thwarted by a paw to the chest.

 

“You are hardly in the way. I would like it very much if you would at least stay for dinner.”

 

I was about to agree when a small voice added, “Please?”

 

“Welp! If I have Frisk’s seal of approval, then I am bound to the house. Till food at least.”

 

Toriel ruffled Frisk’s head. She responded with more giggles. “Good. Because I will tie you down if I must.”

 

“Again?”

 

“If it means you staying put, then yes. I would.” The grin on that woman’s face made it quite clear it was not an idle threat.

 

“Alright, I swear, no escape attempts.” I made a shady look left, then right. I leaned down towards Frisk with my face slightly tilted away and my hand doing that block-the-lips thing. “You. Me. Tonight. Soon as the goat-mom is asleep we’re breaking out of here. Taking the town. Kicking rocks, see? We’ll be outta this joint before she even knows.”

 

Frisk went into another giggle-storm while Toriel rolled her eyes.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a hefty delay on this chapter, and I apologize for that folks. I was a bit more tired than I'd like to be and it affected quite a few things. ^^;
> 
> Liatai and MicBunny helped plenty as always. They both laughed and helped out with the Pear Part, and Liatai gave several pointers to utilizing a shy kiddo.
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576). Two chapters so far, with a third in progress I believe.
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) I think at the moment she's looking for feedback. And there are hints to a certain Bony Duo in the near future...
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much.
> 
> Till later folks!


	9. Today’s Forecast: Cloudy With Chance of Giggles

“....So then I had to remove the cat from the restroom, but she never liked dealing with rain ever again.”

 

“Oh that poor thing. Though I suppose her running out into the yard and refusing to come back in made it her fault,” Toriel said with a smile. Frisk in the meantime giggled up another storm. The dragon-goat-momma patted her child on the head then looked up at the clock. “How late we have left things. Frisk, would you like to help me tonight?”

 

The young girl smiled widely and hopped off the couch. I tried to get up again when Frisk ran off, but I found myself pinned via paw-to-the-chest again.

 

“No, you stay put until we are ready. Sit and relax.”

 

“Toriel, I’m grateful for the concern, but I’m good. Really.”

 

She giggled deeply. “You are still a guest in my house. So please keep comfortable until we are ready.”

 

I sighed and leaned back. “Okay, okay, I’ll stay put and be lazy.”

 

“That is all I ask.” Toriel patted me on the head and walked into the kitchen as well.

 

I was alone with my thoughts and the sounds of clattering in the kitchen. Every so often I’d hear a bit of instruction from Toriel or a question from Frisk. Eventually the sounds became mere background noise. I pulled out my home-universe phone and looked it over.

 

The data inside was fine, just like the last dozen times I checked. Battery life was good, still no signal.

 

Still no contact.

 

I pulled up my pictures and looked through them. Dad and mom doing a silly pose. larryboi and I taking a quick mock-selfie. Which, I think makes it a real selfie? Whatever. Cat picture, cat picture, cute cat picture with her wearing a bowtie on her head and extreme ‘crazy eyes’, wet cat picture?

 

_ How’d I get that shot? Oh, right, she tried to jump into the sink after I prepped for dishes. _

 

I chuckled to myself at the memory. Aaaaand then the rest of the memories started to pile on.

 

_ Awww jeeze. I hope they’re okay. I really hope they’re doing okay… _

 

My smile slipped away as I thumbed through the rest of the photos I had from my old life. When I got to the end I just started over.

 

Several rotations in a small voice piped up.

 

“You miss them?”

 

I turned my head to the left and there was Frisk who was hidden halfway behind the doorframe.

 

That smile of mine tried to make a comeback. “Yeah. I do.”

 

She just stared at me.

 

“Wanna see them?” I held my phone up for the once child avatar. She didn’t move for a few moments, but eventually she slowly made her way over to the couch. I waited till she was comfortable before I held up the screen.

  
“That’s mom and dad. They were out with me on a quick family thing, spur of the moment. Asked them to look good for the camera, and  _ that’s _ what I got.”

 

Frisk giggled lightly.

 

“Eh, too much to ask for I guess. Least they didn’t start making funny noises to match. Oh, wait.”

 

I flipped to the next picture.

 

“They did.”

 

That got me a few stronger giggles.

 

“And this…” I swiped over a few times. “This is Turtles.”

 

Frisk’s face went into deep concentration. She looked at the cat, then at me, then back to the cat, then settled on me. “Turtles?”

 

“She has what’s known as a tortoiseshell fur-pattern, see?” I swiped to a good profile picture and traced along the markings. “The dark with the light brown and the white.”

 

“...But why Turtles?”

 

“It stuck, and that was all she wanted to answer to. Besides the sound of food of course.”

 

Frisk nodded sagely. “Very fluffy.”

 

“Yeah?” I backed out into the album and showed off the dish disaster pic. “Not too fluffy now, eh?”

 

“Awww poor kitty.”

 

“True but silly kitty too. That is not a happy face.”

 

Frisk giggled in agreement. “You have a cute kitty.”

 

“Yeah. I did.” I brought up the picture of larryboi. “She’s with her now. Asked larryboi to take care of Turtles while I, you know. Came over here.”

 

The girl tapped the screen and made the picture bigger. “Her name is larryboi?”

 

“Screen name. But it stuck in real life too. Calls herself larry for short.”

 

“Ohhhhh….” Frisk seemed to understand.

 

“But yeah that’s some of the friends and family from the other side.” I brought up more the general pictures I took about a week or so before I swapped universes. A few seconds were spent on each image so that Frisk could get a good look. A few times I was asked to go back so she could look into that aspect of the multiverse a bit better.

 

“Neat, huh?”

 

The girl nodded again. “You’re lucky.”

 

“Do tell?”

 

“You had a cat. I can’t have cats.” Frisk turned on her frumpy face.

 

“You allergic?”

 

That got me a definite huff. “No, but Mom is.”

 

“....Toriel is allergic to cats?” I just could not believe it.

 

“They make her sneeze.”

 

“How bad?”  _ Oh this is gold! _

 

“She sneezes fireballs.” 

 

“....Fireballs.”

 

The kiddo bobbed her head rapidly. “Really huge fireballs!”

 

I smacked my lips. “Right. Got it. No cats for Toriel.”

 

There came the frump again. “Or for me.”

 

“Hey, there’s always a chance to become a crazy cat person later on in life.” I turned my head to the kitchen to check for Toriel then leaned back down to Frisk. “Just don’t let on that that’s your goal in life.”

 

Frisk laughed out loud. A proper laugh. “No I’m not gonna turn into a crazy cat person.”

 

“Good, that’s good. Toriel might kill me for influencing you like that.”

 

“Quite possibly~!” Toriel’s voice sang out from the kitchen.

 

Frisk motioned for me to come closer. When I did she whispered. “Mom’s hearing is  _ amazing. _ ”

 

“Yes it is indeed~!”

 

“Showoff!” I called out to the kitchen. I just got a bark of laughter as an answer.

 

“They looked nice.”

 

I turned my attention back to Frisk. “Hm?”

 

She tapped the screen. “Your friends and family. They looked like good people.”

 

“They are.” I pulled up my parent’s picture again. “Good folks indeed.”

 

Frisk smiled. “We have some good folks here too. And you’re friends with a lot of them.”

 

“Heh. Yeah, I know. Thanks for the reminder, short-stuff.” I put my phone back to sleep and pocketed it.

 

“...Thank you.”

 

That got my attention again. “For… what exactly?”

 

Frisk fiddled with her fingers. “You stopped the cycle. I don’t feel the impulses any more.”

 

I grinned. “You’re welcome, Frisk.”

 

“Okay you two, into the dining room,” Toriel called out.

 

“But I thought you wanted me to stay on the couch!” I called back with a wink to Frisk. She clapped her hands to prevent the giggles.

 

“Are you sassing me?”

 

“A little?”

 

“Hmph. No pie for you.”

 

“Nooooooo!” I threw my hands up in defeat. Frisk mimicked me with a smile.

 

\---

 

“You really meant the no-pie thing?!”

 

Toriel gave me a smirk. “Yes. I meant it.”

 

“You are  _ evil. _ ”

 

Frisk tried so hard to contain her laughter, bless her heart.

 

“Yes, horrible and evil. Truly that is best way to describe me.”

 

There was a sputter.

 

“Toriel, Denier of Pies!”

 

She was about to crack.

 

“Now now, pie denial is only one of my evil talents. I also force children to clean their rooms and chastise short skeletons.”

 

Frisk’s head hit the table as they lost the last bit of their resolve.

 

“And there she goes, she’s done. Nice work Toriel.” I held my hand out and Toriel took it.

 

“Yes, wonderful work making Frisk lose her sanity.”

 

\---

 

Late in the night I had made my way back home to the Inn. The Void Being snoozed away in their makeshift bed. They had had a wonderful day of taking in the smells of the kitchen and sneaking as many snacks as they could before the Shopkeep Bunny stopped them. She told me that I was to leave them in the kitchen to work tomorrow morning to make up for the carnage.

 

I knew I had to get to sleep. Important meeting the next morning and all that. But I couldn’t

 

I kept swiping through the photos I had. And I kept wishing I had taken more.

 

_ Most of these were impulses at the last second. Why was I so concerned about memory before. Hrm… _

 

I lingered on my parents’ picture for the longest time. Tears slipped down my face as I realized what I may have put them through.

 

_ …….I must be one of the most selfish pieces of crap in the multiverse…. _

 

I put the phone to sleep and set it on the nightstand near the bed. With myself curled up under the blankets I wished I could do the same just as easily.

 

\---

 

“Mayor Theodore will be with you soon. Please have a seat over there and I’ll let you know when he’s available.”

 

“Thanks.” I gave a smile to the secretary and went to take my seat soon after.

 

I was dressed up pretty professionally, suit-like clothes and all so I was feeling good about how I looked. I just wished I wasn’t alone. Toriel had to deal with a sudden surge of paperwork for the upcoming school year. Papyrus was still on the graffiti case. sans was at work cleaning up the city. Undyne I think was doing her whole perp-busting schtick. Alphys was breaking a few laws of physics with her recycling programs. With the Bunny Sisters busy with their businesses and the Void Being trying their best to help around the kitchen, I was by myself for this.

 

My leg bobbed up and down a few times as I waited.  A few important people walked by and away. The secretary coughed. I pulled out my phone and tried to pass the time with a bit of solitaire. I gave up when I lost three games in a row. I checked the time.

 

Five minutes had passed.

 

_ Uuuuugggghhhh! _

 

There was a crackle from the secretary’s desk.

 

“Hey Steve, send them in. Meeting ended early.”

 

“Yessir Mayor Theodore.” Steve turned off his intercom. “The Mayor can see you now.”

 

“Thanks Steve.” I pulled myself out of the chair with a slight pop to my left knee and hobbled into the room.

 

The mayor’s office was pretty much what you’d expect. White-ish, beige-ish paint on the walls, general patriotic pictures mixed with generic mountain pictures.

 

_ Huh. Actually, that one looks pretty good. Wonder where they got it. _

 

The desk looked nice though. Mahogany or something? Sturdy looking at any rate with lots of polish and a rather tasteful looking name placard on top.

 

“Hi, hello, give me a moment I have to-” Mayor Theodore stopped halfway and gave me a concerned look. “You’re hobbling, why are you hobbling?”

 

“I popped my knee when I got up.”

 

He winced. “Ooh, ow, yes, I hate when that happens. Mayor Bill Theodore, nice to meet you in person.” He stood up and stuck a hand out for me. I accepted and we shook.

 

The mayor was a pleasantly plump looking gentleman. Slightly balding with peppered-grey hair, a slightly large nose which was enhanced by his tiny glasses, and somewhat small-looking ears. He was dressed a fair bit more professionally than I was, what with the tailored grey suit and red tie.

 

“So I hear you’re a special case in terms of immigration, eh?” He sat back down with a sigh that came from both him and the plush leather chair he commanded upon.

 

“Extremely. Multiversal immigrant at that.” I sat down on one of the guest chairs he had in front of his desk. Fabric opposed to leather, but they were still pretty comfortable.

 

“I heard. No records, no medical info, no identification, nothing but your word and the word of the lovely ex-queen Toriel.”

 

“Yep. Pretty much.” I held up the letter I got from Melissa. “I have the whole political asylum thing though.”

 

He took the document carefully and looked it over. “Yes, this does seem to be in order. Though I have to ask,” the mayor handed my letter back. “If you have this document, why go to the trouble of getting a meeting with me? I mean, it comes from a higher branch of the government than I do.”

 

“Maybe? But I figured as a kind-of citizen with a really weird, nebulous position within the law and voting regulations, it’d be a good thing to get in contact.”

 

Mayor Theodore tapped his desk with a pen. “Okay, that sounds reasonable.”

 

“That and I am technically an ambassador of sorts.”

 

His eyebrow went up and his pen stopped. “And this leap of logic comes from…?”

 

“I am the only being from that side of the multiverse,” I stated proudly.

 

That eyebrow did not go down. “Yes. I can understand that, even if I can’t understand quite how you are here. But… that does not make you an ambassador.”

 

“Come again?”

 

“You don’t become an ambassador by just claiming you are one. You have to go through regulations, paperwork, approvals. I mean, do you even have a means of contacting where you come from?” The mayor’s hands and fingers steepled on the desk top.

 

“Uhhhh… no,” I admitted with a hint of embarrassment in my voice.

 

“No contact, no real political agenda, you’re just kind of here. Now don’t get me wrong,” Mayor Theodore countered against my attempted protest. “I have been regaled quite a bit about your adventure and doings in that Underground place. You have a lot of political power at your disposal if just as a massive figurehead of good humans to the Monster population. By the way, thank you for letting them out, they made my campaign a lot easier.”

 

“They did?” Now my eyebrow went up.

 

“Oh definitely. Personally I have nothing against Monsters. Completely for them, really. Wonderful people. But my rival last year, woof. The things she tried to say. But the public shot her down in minutes and basically let me run unopposed. Then I got to meet them in person without the threat of a reelection over my head? Lovely people, absolutely lovely people.”

 

I grinned. “I am really happy to hear that. I was worried that a lot of the political folks would be up in arms over, you know, walking flames or fish people and the like walking around.”

 

The mayor shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “No no no, most of us like them. Most of us. Sorry to say, there are a few…. eh, dunderheads? That can’t look past their exteriors to the people within.”

 

I sighed. “Yeah, gonna guess that’s a multiversal human flaw.” I cleared my throat. “You said something about political power?”

 

“Oh yes right right right.” The mayor got up out of his chair and walked around the desk to where the window facing the city ways.

 

“The people you freed, even the folks that barely knew about you, have kind of taken you as their ‘good human’ example. And from what I heard about the park-party, they’re ecstatic to have you back on this side of the, er, multiverse you say?”

 

“That’s the thing, yep.”

 

He shook his head. “Never really got into that sci-fi nonsense. But I suppose it’s not really… nevermind.” The mayor turned on his heels and walked back over to me with his hands behind his back. 

 

“You may not be an ambassador, or whatever it is you think your position in all this may grant you, but you are an important person. I can’t just grant you amnesty, but apparently someone in the capital of this country is wanting to. But what I can do is grant you a welcome into our city and say that we are pleased to have you with us, Freer of the Monsters.”

 

I winced. “That’s a thing?”   
  


“It can be. We can work out the title later.” He walked back to his chair and sat again. “Now, there is something I want to talk to you about besides your, how’d you put it, nebulous state within the law?”

 

“And voting regulations.”

 

Mayor Theodore barked out a laugh. “Yes that. I gathered from the stories and from a recent report from a miss Alphys that you had access to magic in your time in the Underground.” The man leaned forward with a rather serious and curious look on his face. “What was that like?”

 

I kept quiet for a minute and looked at my hand. “It… it was like having a burst of energy from within spring out with the feelings and intent of what you wanted to do. I… I think the best way to put it…”

 

He said nothing and simply waited.

 

“You know the feeling? A sense of urge to get something done? Purpose? Drive? All that, mixed with a tingling sensation that expresses itself in the form of… well, energy. For me it was to help calm down a dramatic diva-bot, or make a guilt-ridden, depressed king see what he needed to see…” My fingers curled up into the familiar gun shape I used so long ago. “Or stare down a god-moded child till they finally let themselves lose. Wait, no, not lose…”

 

The mayor simply nodded.

 

“I really don’t know how else to describe it. Outside of the feelings, it kind of taps into your ‘self’ and drains you a little. Or a lot, depending on what you’re doing. And what you want to do affects how it does what it does. Does that make sense?”

 

Mayor Theodore simply stared at me for a few seconds. He lowered his hands to the desk. “Yes. Yes it makes sense. It sounds almost word-for-word what Alphys and Toriel told me back during the thank you bullet incident. What was it they said…?”

 

“Intent is everything?” I ventured.

 

“Yes, that was it exactly.” He took a heavy breath and seemed to be staring at nothing now. Concentration filled his face.

 

“Something the matter?”

 

“Nothing bad, I assure you, but something that may become a bit of a tipping point.” He tapped his desk some more. “I may not understand all the hocus-pocus involved, but the reason Monsters can do what they do is because they can tap into their souls… or SOULS? Whatever it is, and that makes them both more able and less able at the same time. Something about a weaker body?”

 

I gulped. “I’ll be frank, they turn to dust when they die.”

 

He gave me a questioning look. “Well, so do humans-”

 

“Yeah, after a long period of time and decay. They turn to dust  _ immediately _ .”

 

His eyes went wide at that. “Good lord, immediately? What do they do about memorials? Graves?”

 

“I can answer that in a bit, it’s kind of complicated.”

 

“Very well. Now what does this have to do with magic?”

 

I tapped my hand. “We’re more solid than they are. More permanent. We have to have stronger SOULS to keep us together. But because we’re so solid it’s harder to get a grip on the magic inside.” I pondered for a few moments then snapped my fingers. “We have a stronger signal but very thick walls. Harder to get the signal to the folks outside.”

 

A flash of realization flitted on the mayor’s face. “But they have a weaker signal and thinner walls, and can get that signal out better.”

 

“Effectively, yes.”

 

“But you,” he said with a point of his finger. “You were able to get it out. With the help from Alphys, correct?”

 

“Right.”  _ I am starting to get worried about where this is heading. _

 

“So… is it possible for other humans to get this signal out as well?”

 

_ BINGO THERE IT IS! _

 

I hesitated, I couldn’t help it. “Maybe. I don’t know. The only means to do so is with me, and Alphys put up a block on the program that made it possible.” I held up the flip phone and showed off the Kissy Cutie block Alphys had reinstated.

 

“Yes yes, I can see that. But is it possible? And…” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Is it something we need to worry about?”

 

“Uh… come again?”

 

“Monsters have had lifetimes to get used to how their magic works. The thank you bullet, for example, was completely harmless, it just gave off that  _ intent _ , as you said, of gratitude.

 

“But humans,” he continued with a raised finger. “We humans have all but stifled magic from ourselves, whether we meant to or not. If this program,” he pointed at my phone, “Gets out, how dangerous could it be?”

 

I breathed out hard. “Think about the words ‘intent is everything.’”

 

The mayor sat back in his chair and seemed to focus on nothing again for a short while.

 

Minutes passed before he looked back my way. “If someone with good intent has the power, they could free a civilization. If someone with ill intent had it, they would have destroyed it.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Mayor Theodore steepled his hands again, rested his chin on them and closed his eyes. “So much potential good. So much potential harm. I am going to need some time to think about this. In the meantime, I want you to deliver a message to Alphys for me.”

 

“Sir?”

 

He opened his eyes and looked down at where my phone rested on his desk. “She is not to unblock that program unless she has it in a secure location. And only for you. I do not, I repeat, I  _ do not _ want that thing out of your sight, pocket, or anywhere else other than on your person. You may hold one of the biggest threats yet one of the greatest miracles humanity could possibly receive from Monsterkind. And that includes that wonderful Nice Cream of theirs.”

 

“Mayor, I promise.” I snagged my phone and tucked it into a pocket.

 

“Good. Thank you.” He glanced up and to the wall behind me. “Good lord, is it that time? I am nearly late for a meeting with the school board. Something about lunches and full-body hairnets for the new cooks.” He puffed as he pulled himself out of his comfy chair. “Check out with Steve if you would on your way out. I will have to find out about their memorial ceremonies later.”  


 

“Will do, sir.” I got up out of my chair as well. We walked together over towards the main doors.

 

As I reached for the handle his hand caught my shoulder.

 

“I am deadly serious. Until I can get my head around this, and get some opinions and advice about the matter, do not open that program unless you are in the lab with Alphys. Understood?”

 

I gave him an encouraging smile. “Sir, I understand entirely.”

 

“Good. Good, good.” He let me go and we left the room.

 

\---

 

My path home took me close to Alphys’ lab so I decided to swing by and deliver the mayor’s message. I went through the main entrance and towards Alphys’ portion of the facilities.

 

_ Huh. Kinda quiet today. _

 

I got to her area and opened up the door.

 

“Hello, Alphys? I have a message from the m- OH MY G-!”

 

“EEEEEEEEEK!”

 

“G-G-G-GET OUT AND LEARN TO KN-KN-KNOCK!”

 

Electrified spears followed my hasty exit out of that lab.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I did the mayor well. I know that my friends Micbunny, Liatai and a return of Chairtastic gave me their thumbs up, but I still worry. ^^;
> 
> I have no regrets about the ending.
> 
> Micbunny's story is here: [ A Pact Undone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11427096/chapters/25602576).
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's also doing some commissions for folks to help out with money things. Check it out [ here! ](http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24294697/)
> 
> Yes, those are my 'Mon, and they are part of a group in a recent new Sun game. Vexi the Timid Leavanny, Hizei the Timid Salazzle (pictured in her time as a Salandit), Uvali the Hasty Gardevoir, Lenoé the Naughty Gothorita, Taloi the Lax Froslass, and Hipni the Modest Lopunny.
> 
> (Hizei is a straight up miracle story. First Pokemon found in Wela Volcano Park, first thrown Ultra Ball at full health, and when checked on my Moon copy? Damn near perfect stats where it matters and decent speed besides.)
> 
>  
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much. Special Kudos to Chairtastic this time.
> 
> Till later folks!


	10. Why Was The Door Unlocked!?

I was doing my best to focus on my table polishing.  _ Scrub scrub scrub. _

 

“so.”

 

This focus was being marred by a certain someone.  _ Wipe wipe wipe. _

 

“you just barged in.”

 

A certain someone who had decided to use his off day to rib me about “the incident”.  _ Wax on wax… still on. _

 

“and the fact that no one else was there didn’t tip you off.”

 

A very certain someone that has taken great pleasure in repeating “the incident’s” particulars over and over. All morning.  _ Spritz scrub wipe. _

 

“you just walked right on in.”

 

My towel stopped mid-scrub. I slowly put my focus towards my heckler.

 

sans’ grin just grew wider and wider.

 

“I. Got. The point.”

 

“what point, i’m not making a point, no point-making here,” sans said while he inspected the table. “by the way you-”

 

“If you use that tired old line I swear Papyrus will be the happiest brother in the world.”

 

sans’ eye sockets narrowed. “why?”

 

“Cause I will polish you so hard that you’ll shine just as much as he does.”

 

The small skeleton took a half-step back as his eye-lights darkened. “You wouldn’t.”

 

“I have a camera phone and I’ll make sure everyone sees.  _ Especially _ Papyrus, Frisk and Toriel.”

 

We stared each other down. I had the towel in one hand and the polish-spray in the other. sans had naught but his hoodie of the day and vast stores of Blue Magic.

 

The clock in the hallway ticked.

 

The can in my hand creaked. sans’ fingerbones did the same.

 

“you mi-”

 

I held up the can at the ready. sans froze.

 

The clock ticked.

 

“Y-”

 

Up came the towel. We froze again.

 

Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! 

 

“ _ You missed a spot! _ ” sans cried out as his left eyelight flared to life! I jumped at the skeletal troll with my weapons of choice at the ready! 

 

Polish and streaks of blue magic went  _ everywhere. _ Bone projectiles were swatted aside by my towel. We grunted, oof’d, cursed (lightly), and generally showed off what mature and upstanding people we were while we tried to finish one another off.

 

I had finally gotten the top of sans’ head perfectly scrubbed when I heard someone clearing their throat.

 

“Is this a bad time?”

 

“...Looks fun.”

 

sans and I halted our mutual attack-defense and looked up to the figures in the doorway. At the forefront was an equally bemused and amused Shirley. Behind her was RG-01 and RG-02. Both were out of uniform, so I guessed today was their off day too.

 

We rapidly got to our feet. We also made a show of brushing each other off.

 

“I got that-”

 

“no, here, allow me-”

 

“No really, I in-”

 

Shirley snuck up on us in the meantime and gave us both a bop to the noggin.

 

“You can finish each other off later, hun. RG-01 and RG-02 have a favor to ask of you,” she said with a smirk on her face.

 

“Did you really have to say it like-”

 

“Yes. Yes I did. sans, go sit,” Shirley directed to the garbage-skeleton. He gave a mock-salute accompanied by a wink and sat where she told him to.

 

In the meantime I grinned to the happy couple. “How have you two been?”

 

“Been doing okay. Lots of planning still to go, then there’s the cake. And the suit fitting!”

 

“...Tailors scream when they see us.”

 

I gave them both a once over. “Yeah, not every day people get to make a suit for you two’s physiques.”

 

RG-01 gave a small chuckle under his helm. “N-no kidding. But they’ve been giving us fair prices anyways, and we’ve been doing some shopping around.”

 

RG-02 sighed. “...Picky.”

 

That got him a swat to the shoulder.  _ Okay, that confirms it, that’s a sign of affection or something to monsters. _

 

“Heh. You two had a favor to ask? I really don’t know much about weddings, so I have no idea what I could do.”

 

“Stand around and look pretty and or handsome!”

 

“...That.”

 

_ Eh, wha? _

 

I gave the two a confused look each. “I mean, I know I’m invited, but… what?”

 

The bunny-officer stood up straighter. “We want you to be our guest of honor!”

 

“...That.”

 

_ Oh no, more of this? _

 

“Me? Not, say, Toriel? Or Undyne?” I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

 

The pair nodded as one. “Yes, you,” RG-01 confirmed.

 

“....Why me, exactly?”

 

The pair looked to each other. Even with the helmets I could tell that they were a bit confused to my reaction. RG-02 gave RG-01 a tap to the shoulder and focused back on me.   
  


“...You freed us. And not just from the Underground. I know you get that a lot. I have heard from other folks. How you keep trying to downplay that. We find it admirable. But you also freed us from our own shyness. Even if you knew what to say. How to say it. From this dimensional thing we’ve overheard about. You still helped us. We appreciate that. Just as much as our prison being eliminated. That is why we want you to be there in such a spot. You are not a best human on either side, But you are a person we value highly for all you have done, For the both of us as well as our friends and family.”

 

I was pretty floored. Not just from what was said, but from just how much was said. It must have shown on my face cause RG-01 gave a laugh.

 

“He’s been practicing that for a few days now. Just in case.”

 

“...Yep.”

 

“I… uh…” Okay, I’ll admit it, I was a little dumbstruck. I couldn’t help it, this sorta talk just kept happening.

 

“Do you accept our modified invite?” RG-01 asked hopefully. RG-02 leaned in a bit himself.

 

“I- yeah, of course!” I grinned. I wasn’t gonna say no, why would I? I just had the worry of accidentally causing some minor issue with focus on their special day is all…

 

“Excellent!” The two high-fived each other. And then they  _ loomed. _

 

“....Eep?”

 

“Know what this means?” RG-01 asked with a playful threat in his voice.

 

“Wh-what does this mean?” The stutter in my own voice came back.

 

“...Fancy clothes,” RG-02 finished for his partner.

 

“Eep.”

 

RG-01 grabbed me around the middle and hauled me off like a football under his armpit. sans meanwhile was cracking up. I could hear that Shirley tried and failed spectacularly to hold in her own snickers. She called out to RG-01, “Make sure they’re home in time for supper! My sis and I have been missing their company!”

 

sans’ merriment was cut short when I heard RG-02 speak up.

 

“...You’re coming too.”

 

“...what?”

 

There was a light scuffle from behind. RG-01 waited in the lobby (“Gonna let me down?” “Nope.” “Just thought I’d ask.”) and RG-02 followed soon after. sans was in his armpit too.

 

The small skeleton looked right at me with black eyesockets.

 

“not. one. word.”

 

“Agreed. This calls for several. On the Undernet. Hey, RG-01, snap some pictures.”

 

RG-01 obliged.

 

sans glared at me as hard as he could the whole time.

 

\---

 

“Hey sans.”

 

“no.”

 

“I just realized.”

“ _no._ "

 

“You’re still-”

 

“don’t. say it.”

 

“Polished.”

 

“aaaagggh!” sans wriggled as hard as he could, but all that did was make a lightshow from the sun glaring off his very chromed dome. 

 

“If Papyrus saw you now, he could legit say you are the highlight of his life.”

 

“shut it!”

 

“Should remind you to reflect on your words before you start trolling people.”

 

“oh ha ha ha.”

 

I could tell that RG-01 and RG-02 tried their darndest to not pay attention to us as they hauled us down the street.

 

“Hey, come on, I bet you could take a shine to your new look, cue ball.”

 

“now you’re just being hurtful.”

 

“...Yeah, okay, that was a little hurtful. Truce?”

 

sans made a show as he mulled things over in his head. Mostly by aiming his head at me so that the reflections hit me dead in the eyes.

 

“eh. truce.”

 

RG-01 cleared his throat. “Good thing too. Here’s one of the tailors.”

 

sans and I looked up. It was a smaller shop but from the look of it it was a place that had been around a long time.

 

The two filed into the building, RG-02 then RG-01. sans and I were along for the ride, naturally.

 

“Welcome back you two! Oh and you brought friends!” An old lady’s voice twittered from the other side of the building. “Mort! Mort, get in here, those two nice queer men are back again!”

 

“Eh? That big dragon fellow and his bunny?” A wheezy voice called back.

 

“Yes, them, get the tape Mort!” She was a thin, wispy woman, very advanced in her age, and wore a pair of the thickest pair of glasses I’d ever seen on a real person. “And how are you boys?”

 

RG-01 shuffled his feet. “We’re doing fine ma’am.”

 

RG-02 stood up straighter. “... Decided.”

 

The rabbit-cop nodded. “We had! We’d like to go with your shop for the suits!”

 

The old lady clapped her hands together. “That’s wonder-”

 

“Gertrude, where’s my glasses?” Mort asked from afar.

 

“Check your head Mort!”

 

“....Gertrude, I found my glasses, they were on my head!”

 

Gertrude shook her head with a sigh. “Poor dear. Still the best tailor in town, so don’t you worry none. And I’ll be there to keep him in line besides.”

 

The tailor’s wife? Assistant? Walked off to help Mort. I nudged RG-01 in the ribs. “I thought you said you were gonna shop?”

 

“And we did!”

 

“... Decided.”

 

I looked between the two of them. “What, telepathically?”

 

RG-01 laughed. “No way! My bro and I already had kinda decided to utilize this place, but picking you up kinda cemented it.”

 

“...Easy. Good work. Nice people.”

 

Just then there was a clatter. “Gertrude! I can’t find my-!”

 

“Second drawer Mort.”

 

“...Found it in the second drawer!”

 

sans just gave everything a half-lidded stare. “so why do i need to be here?”

 

RG-01 squatted down in front of sans. “You owe me.”

 

“i owe you?”

 

“Two years ago. Night shift. Said you would-”

 

sans shook his head. “ah ah-bup-bup-bup, i remember now, don’t need to-”

 

“With the-”

 

“I! Got! It! Yes, okay, what am i doing?” sans went limp with defeat. 

 

“I heard you had an old skill. Old old magic skill. Papyrus too, but you do it better. A bit more… encompassing.”

 

“...Difficult to find nowadays.”

 

sans’ eyebrow went up. Then something clicked in his expression. “ohhhhh. you want me to…?”

 

“Yep! It’s been ages since a couple was hitched to the old ceremony.”

 

“....Please.”

 

The skeleton’s grin softened. “hey, no sweat. just tell me which of the tunes to do when and i’ll do my best. been a long time since i read classical musics.”

 

RG-01 set me on my feet, snapped up sans and hugged him so hard I was worried I was going to hear a rib snap. “Thank you thank you thank you!”

 

“...Need a suit.”

 

There went a second lightbulb for sans. “ooohhhhh that’s why i’m here. eh, fair enough. i can pay for my own though.”

 

RG-01 set sans down. “Thanks. That helps.”

 

And I felt particularly guilty right then. RG-02 must have noticed because he poked me in the ribs.

 

“...No worries. You’re good.”

 

I shuffled a bit. “If you say so.”

 

“We do say so,” piped up RG-01. “Now we’ll get sans done first, then we’ll help plan out your outfit.”

 

“By the by, what’s the theme?” I asked as I planted myself in a chair.

 

“Suits,” RG-01 answered simply enough as he poked through a few fabric samples

 

I paused halfway from picking up a magazine. “Suits? Just straight up suits?”

 

“...Yes,” RG-02 confirmed. He too was picking through a few samples.

 

“For everyone that can wear one.”

 

I simply stared at the two of them but gave a shrug and continued to snag a magazine. “Certainly an interesting concept of sorts. Hats?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

“hey, at least i get a hat,” sans snarked. “you two do know that you are gonna make papyrus the happiest skeleton in the world just by getting me into a suit, right?”

 

There was a couple of agreements before a gangly old man shuffled into view. About as well aged as Gertrude was, Mort was also wearing a pair of thick glasses. His weren’t as thick as Gertrude’s but they were pretty hefty nonetheless.

 

“Which of of you is this Sans feller?”

 

“here. and it’s sans. lowercase s. it’s cool, lotsa folks say it wrong.”

 

“Eh? What? Ehhh, you young people with odd names,” Mort muttered lightly as he tugged sans by the elbow to what I assumed was the fitting area.

 

“if i’m not back in five days, send a rescue party,” sans said to the three of us. I just waved him goodbye. 

 

I thumbed through the rather up-to-date magazine about fashions and styles. “What’s the color standard for the suits?”

 

“We decided to go for whatever makes you look better.” RG-01 pulled up a bit of cloth and compared it to himself.

 

“...No clashing.” RG-02 did the same but against me.

 

“Potentially multi-colored wedding. Neat,” I said as I imagined a few of the results.

 

“Already have a few pictures from folks. Oh, and uh, spoiler? Alphys and Undyne look  _ amazing. _ ”

 

I choked a bit.

 

“What?”

 

“N-” I coughed hard, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

 

RG-01 and RG-02 looked at one another. A moment later they shrugged and went back to their sampling.

 

Mort called out from across the shop once more. “Gertrude! Where’s my-?”

 

“In the drawer Mort,” Gertrude answered from nearby. She silently took the fabric that RG-01 was holding and swapped it for another. “Better for your fuzz.”

 

“...I found it in the drawer, Gertrude,” Mort called out again. I heard sans give a sigh.

 

“Glad to hear, Mort,” Gertrude consoled as she helped RG-01 with the accents and such to what would be made into his own suit. “Trust me young man, regardless of color, I always pick out what looks best on my customers.”

 

“Awesome!” RG-01 gave a fist pump.

 

I continued to pick through the magazine while RG-01 RG-02 and Gertrude sampled and compared materials. A few times they stepped over and compared colors up against me.

 

“Tsk tsk tsk, looks like we’ll be going with traditional black with this one,” the old woman remarked with a shake of her head.

 

“...No problem.”

 

“Hey, yeah, no worries, ma’am. Black’s cool, just need a suit.”

 

Gertrude shrugged. “Whatever you two boys think. Just a shame, you two are going to have the best colors there. We’ll make sure of-”

 

“Gertrude! Where’s my pencil?”

 

“On your ear Mort!”

 

There was a few seconds of silence. I leaned to Gertrude and whispered, “Is he okay?”

 

“Sometimes it takes a few seconds longer than-”

 

“Gertrude! I found my pencil! It was on my ear!”

 

“See?” She turned slightly and called back again. “Glad to hear Mort.”

 

I chuckled and went back to my articles. I had nearly finished the last article when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

 

“hey, i’m done. your turn.”

 

I turned to look and there was sans.

 

In his… normal outfit.

 

“Wait, what, I don’t get to see?”

 

That grin of his went wider. “nope. not till the day of. tradition after all.”

 

“That’s the bride’s dress for the groom.”

 

“is it? huh. well, whatever, not putting it back on. especially since all that happened was getting the fitting ready,” sans said with a smidge of snark in his tone. 

 

“....Right. Right, I… Right.”

 

Mort shambled over. “Okay, apparently it’s your turn. Come on, let’s go, this way.” Mort snagged me by the wrist and it turned out that the old man had some grip left in him. sans waved goodbye and wasted no time in taking the seat I just vacated.

 

Mort led me across the store and had me get onto a small platform in front of a few mirrors. He circled around a few times and looked me over.

 

“Ehhh, a little pudgy, but workable. Not like them two queer gents waiting. I’ve dealt with a few barrel chested men in my time, but those two are more like those shipping containers.” Mort prodded me a few times on my thighs and upper arms. “Hm. Doable. Stay put, I gotta find my measuring tape.”

 

The tailor picked through a pile of implements and scratched the top of his bald head. “Where did I put that-”

 

“Check your pocket, Mort,” Gertrude directed as she walked past with a roll of material.

 

Mort stayed still for a few moments. His hand slid into a pocket. “Ah there it is.” 

 

Tool in hand the tailor started putting his craft to work. Despite the slight shake of his hand Mort was pretty nimble with his measurements. After each one was ascertained he jotted them down on a notepad he had nearby. He kept grumbling to himself all the while with the occasional number or material idea thrown in. Every so often he would have me lift an arm, spread my legs, or have me stand on one foot. Nearly every square inch of me was measured in spite of the slowly increased blush on my face.

 

What felt like an eternity later Mort pushed my elbow back down and rolled up his tape measure. “Okay, you’re done. Fairly normal stuff to work with even with the slight pudge. Don’t you gain much or lose much in the next few weeks, understand? Would throw the whole ensemble off,” Mort directed with a good deal of sternness in his voice.

 

“That’s happened, I take it?” I asked with a small bit of humor in my voice.

 

Mort’s face hardened. “Way more often that I’d like. Now get goin’, I have two massive gents to measure, and they’re gonna take a while.”

 

I agreed and stepped out of Mort’s way. I followed the old tailor to where RG-01, RG-02 and Gertrude awaited. The three of them seemed to have been in a great deal of discussion over what kind of material needed to be used. sans in the meantime looked like he had zonked out.

 

“Silk just feels weird…”

 

“Young man, silk is the best way to go about it. Satin just doesn’t last as long, and you could use a suit like this multiple times.”

 

“...Point.”

 

RG-01 held up a finger to make a rebuttal, I think, but he brought it back down soon after. “I… yeah, that is a good point.”

 

Mort stepped into the trio’s foot-space and tapped RG-02 on the bicep. “Come on, it’s your go now.” The tailor looked to Gertrude. “This one is gonna take a while, and so’s his fiance. If we get other folks, let them know.”

 

“Yes Mort,” Gertrude complied with a hint in her voice that suggested she had planned on doing that anyways.

 

RG-01 waved goodbye to RG-02 who returned the gesture with a nod. The rabbit-cop about-faced to sans and I.

 

“Since you two are done you can head out. We’ll be fine. We really needed to get you two going, and now that you’re good…”

 

I gave a thumbs up. “Fair enough, dood. Was cool seeing ya again. And, uh, thanks for the invite. And the upcoming suit.”

 

RG-01 chuckled under his helmet. “You’re welcome. Just promise you won’t be late, and we’re good.” He gave sans a nudge with his foot. The skeleton jumped up a little and tossed the magazine that was dangling in his hand into the air.

 

“cobalt with a hint of nitrate!” sans said while he looked around. “...you didn’t see that, and if you say you did, i’ll deny it.”

 

“Okay,” RG-01 said with a laugh. “Just told our friend that you’re cool to head home or wherever. We got this from here.”

 

“huh. thanks. alright, time to mosey.” sans picked the magazine off the wood floor where it landed and plopped it back onto the pile. “to the inn?” He asked of me.

 

“Sounds like a plan.” I looked to RG-01. “We’ll see you two later. Sooner rather than too much later, but you get what I mean.”

 

The rabbit-cop flashed me a thumbs up. sans and I headed towards the exit.

 

Gertrude caught us at the threshold. “You two be good now, and watch out for them graffiti artists,” she warned with a waggle of her finger. “Them vandals have been hitting our poor town’s walls every night for the last week. And that nice Papyrus fellow’s not been able to catch them yet! Dreadful, just dreadful.”

 

“Uhhh. Right, will do, ma’am.” I gave her a grin and she scuffled off to where Mort was measuring RG-02.

 

As sans and I walked down the sidewalk I couldn’t help but notice that the shorter skeleton walked a bit stiffer than normal.

 

“This about the vandal thing?”

 

He nodded. “yeah. it’s really driving paps up the wall. he’s been going to the most commonly hit areas every night for a solid week and he hasn’t even seen anyone. but come the next morning, there’s more of the stuff. it’s easy to wash off, just a little water and it comes right off. but to have someone, or several someones, constantly pulling this stunt and him not figuring out whodunit? hrmph.”

 

I scratched my chin. “What’s this stuff look like? Gang signs, revolution pictures, anti-whatever propaganda?” I thought for a second. “Just plain propaganda?”

 

sans shook his head. “nah, nothing like that. just squiggles. some of them like a foot or so long, others spanning the whole side of the building. and always black.”

 

“That’s weird. Modern art?” I ventured further.

 

“if it is, they have terrible taste in subject matter and venue. i just hope they get caught soon before paps stresses himself to dust.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

sans and I walked in silence for a while. Folks passed by without issue, save for the occasional double-take at sans’ very chromed dome.

 

“ehhhh. okay, i’m gonna say it. sorry for hassling you about walking in on alphys and undyne,” sans said with a roll of his shoulders.

 

“Heh. Thanks. And I’m sorry for giving you a skull-polish.”

 

“nah, don’t be, papyrus has been threatening to do that to me for weeks. just saves him the hassle is all. besides…”

 

He leaned just enough and caught the sun right into my eyes.

 

“now i get to show off how bright i am.”

 

“Ack, pfft, stop that!” I held up my hands to try and block the glare.

 

“gladly. ‘cause i think you’re gonna need your sight soon enough,” sans said with a snicker.

 

“Wha, why?” I blinked the spots out of my eyes and focused ahead. There was something approaching.

 

Something that was approaching fast.

 

A somewhat skinny, blue someth-....

 

_ Oh crudballs. _

 

I turned and found that sans was nowhere to be seen. With my doom mere feet away I slowly pivoted back towards her.

 

“H-hi?”

 

“Hi. Bestie. My bestiest of besties.” Undyne had the most strained, most put-upon, most fierce friendly grin I had ever seen on a fish-woman with teeth that would make a shark blush.

 

No, scratch that, a Tyrannosaurus.

 

_ Eep _ .

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a few chuckles just writing out those two old folks.
> 
> We have a special guest-star beta-reader in Chairtastic this time around, so applause to him. :D
> 
> And yeah, this took a lot longer than I'd have liked to get done, but I have been feeling very drained as of late. I blame a particularly heavy month from work as well as the weather. It's been very hot and humid and muggy and it feels like I'm walking through pudding outside. Bleh.
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's also doing some commissions for folks to help out with money things. Check it out [ here! ](http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8357186/)
> 
> Micbunny's been having a few blehs herself. I feel for her ^^;
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much. Special Kudos to Chairtastic this time.
> 
> Till later folks!


	11. Skull Polish

It was three o’clock in the morning. I was completely wide awake. The events of the afternoon ran through my head.

 

_ “Soooooo bestie! Pal! Friend! GOOD BUDDY!” Undyne’s grin grew wider and more forced with every word. I grew a bit more scared for my life with each word too. _

 

_ “Hiiii Undyne. Uhm. So. How are you?” I tried to smile. I really did. It came off as more of a grimace. _

 

_ “Ohhh, I’m just DANDY! Been enjoying some time with my wife, checking in on her at work. Kinda like how you did! AND IT GOT ME TO-” Undyne cleared her throat. “And it got me to thinking! ‘Undyne! That bestie of yours! They’ve been here a while now, and you haven’t hung out with them properly! Maybe you ought to change that!’ And by golly, you showing up at Alphy’s lab gave me a bright idea!” Undyne was looming over me at this point. How she managed it was beyond me but she did. _

 

_ “And, uhm, what idea was that, friendly friend of mine who would never want to kill me for an unintentional incident?” _

 

_ Her eye narrowed dangerously. “Why! The best thing ever!” She leaned in and nearly went nose-to-nose with me. “You’re gonna see me tomorrow morning at seven a.m. sharp! And you better dress decent! SEE YOU BESTIE!” _

 

_ She patted me on the head and walked off. Well, not walked. More like stomped. Hard. With enough force to rattle windows. _

 

_ “....Meep.” _

 

So there I was. Three in the morning. Wide awake.

 

Some may have thought that that was because of Undyne’s thinly veiled threat. Some may have thought that it was because of the days and weeks of events that have happened had been coursing through my mind. Those folks would be wrong.

 

It was because the Void Being had decided that two-thirty in the morning was the best time to look up cat videos without headphones.

 

I decided that three-thirty in the morning was the best time to toss a pillow at them.

 

\---

 

_ A mixture of colors and patterns. A small cat. Then a loud bang in the distance. Squiggles. So many squiggles. sans. sans sans sans. “beautiful day outside. birds. flowers. birdflowerbirdflowers-” sans disappeared and was replaced with the towering form of the Void Being. I stared up at hem they stared up at me. Flashes of yellow blue purple. Teal. R- _

 

“UP AND AT THEM BESTIE!!!”

 

The door slammed open and I jumped clear off the bed and onto the floor. A clatter from the dresser told me the same happened to my roommate. 

 

A semi-webbed hand fished me out of the pile that was me and my blankets and set me on my feet. “I know I know I know, I’m early, but hey! What are besties for, hmmmm?” A sharp slap to the small of my back nearly sent me sprawling back into the bed I was ejected from. “I’ll give you five minutes to get dressed, then we’ll head out! Now come on, snap to! We have a long day ahead of us!”

 

Undyne flashed me one last toothy grin and closed the door behind her. I stood there dumbstruck for about a minute before I realized that she is very much the type to force-dress me if need be. With all the swiftness I could muster I put on the nicer clothes that I had that would still let me do a bit of exercise. At the last second I snatched up the Void Being.

 

“Come on, you need to get out of the inn. And this is revenge for waking me up at two-something in the morning.” The Void Being stuck a fused tongue out at me but happily slithered onto my shoulder nonetheless.

 

When I got downstairs I saw that Undyne happily munched away on a cinnabunny while she leaned against the sign-in desk. “Dang, girl, you make these the best. Swear that this stuff’s gotten better.”

 

“Ever since we got to the surface, I’ve had access to not just better cooking materials but also tips and tricks from across that internet thing the humans made,” the shopkeep bunny replied with a grin. “They’ve been selling like mad you know.”

 

“Damn straight I know, I’ve been watching your business explode,” Undyne said with a grin before she finished off the remaining bite of her snack. “Hey, Jade, thanks for the cinnabunny.”

 

“And thank you for your purchase, sugar.”

 

Undyne glanced over and finally noticed me. “About freaking time! You’re late! And if you’re late you’re gonna make me late! That’s why I came early!” Undyne did a quick finger-gun to Jade and strode over to me. She looked rather intimidating in her officer’s uniform. And considering how intimidating she was naturally it was quite a feat.

 

“Morning to you too.” I yawned widely despite my nerves. “Soooo we’re doing what now?”

 

A blue scaled arm wrapped around my shoulders. “We’re just going on a little walk is all. A nice, friendly little walk between besties. Bestie.” Undyne shot a  grin to the bunny shopkeep and led me out the doors.

 

“Be safe out there, sugar,” Jade called after me.

 

“I thought we had the safest city in the country?”

 

“Not talkin’ about that, sugar,” the bunny shopkeep said with a smirk.

 

_ Hoooodear. _

 

Once outside Undyne continued to march me along the sidewalk. Her sinister-friendly grin never once left her face even as she greeted folks we passed. Quite a few of them gave me a bewildered look.

 

“Where exactly are we headed?” I asked my escort. The Void Being on my shoulder was having a grand old time checking out the environment as it whirled past.

 

“We’re heading to the station first. Just a bit of paperwork to do first, then!” She stopped face, twirled on her heels to face me directly and showed off even  _ more _ teeth. “You’re going on a walk-along with me!”

 

“Oh. Wait, walk-along? Don’t you mean ride-along?”

 

Undyne got me under an arm and noogied me. The Void Being took this chance to hop onto her shoulder.

 

“IF I MEANT RIDE ALONG I’D HAVE SAID RIDE ALONG! NO! IT’S A WALK-ALONG!”

 

“Ow ow ow ow ow okay okay uncle! I call uncle!”

 

Undyne guffawed and let me loose. “I don’t have a car. Or a license. Yet. The people who tried to test me for it said I had a lead foot or something. THEY JUST CAN’T HANDLE MY STYLE!!!”

 

“I… I can see that being a problem, yes,” I replied with a smirk. I got a swat to the shoulder for that.

 

“Come on, not that far from here, only a few more blocks.” Undyne walked at a brisk pace that I had a bit of trouble keeping up with. The Void Being waved from her shoulder with a smile on their face.

 

“Yeah yeah, wait till she starts running!” I called out to them.

 

“What?” Undyne asked me over her shoulder.

 

“Not you, the Void Being’s on your shoulder.”

 

Even from here I could see the glint in her eyes. “Oh they are, are they?”

 

For a being that was completely black, white, or grey, they sure did get pale at that question.

 

“SEE IF YOU CAN KEEP UP!” And Undyne shot off at great speed.

 

I knew I had no chance against her, not even a little. She didn’t have armor and I didn’t have speed-booster shoes. But I ran anyways and did my damndest to at least keep her in sight.

 

As she trailed away I could see the poor Void Being holding on for dear life.

 

True to Undyne’s word the Ebbot Police Station was within sight after a few blocks worth of running. Running for Undyne anyways. For me it was a block of running followed by a few blocks of huffing and puffing.

 

_ Okay that does it, I am gonna go on a bigger diet than I already am with the Monster Food thing AND I am gonna get into shape! _

 

Undyne tapped her foot impatiently for me as I plodded the last few steps.

 

“I… didn’t… know… Sonic… was related… to fish…” I gasped out.

 

I got another swat to the shoulder. “He’s not, and I’m not a fish. I am an Amazon!” She crowed with her arms stretched up and out. She paused a moment then admitted with a small smile on her face, “At least, that’s what Alphys calls me.”

 

“She, ow my side, she’s not wrong,” I puffed. “Okay, okay I’m good. Inside with us?”

 

“Sure. They still on my shoulder?” Undyne pointed to her right shoulder. I looked to her left. The Void Being looked like they were about to scream in rage, fury, terror, excitement, and pure giddiness all at once.

 

“Yep, still there.”

 

“AWESOME! They passed my test! Come on you, inside! We gotta deal with… ugh. Paperwork.” Her eye narrowed. “They’re like bureaucratic puzzles. Bleh.”

 

I gave a sympathetic chuckle and followed Undyne inside. The building outside was pretty much one would expect from a police station in a growing city. It looked… old-ish. Kinda like how you saw in those Fifties era comic books and tv shows.

 

The inside however was a whole other matter. The lights were way more modern than I had expected, with those really nifty energy-saving bulbs and stuff. Computers and tablets were all over the place, albeit in places where they should have been. There was a main desk in the center, a few doors leading off to places, and yes. Lots of officers walking around.

 

Aside from Undyne herself I didn’t see any other monster officers. All human. Even the secretary-esque guy at the main desk. They all had their uniforms on, naturally, and were equipped out the same across the board.

 

“Huh.”

 

“Wonderin’ where the rest of us folk are?” Undyne asked while she thumbed to herself.

 

“Yep.” I looked around and saw a few of Alphys’ lab-logos on the computers.

 

“Papyrus and I are the bigger members, for sure, but there really wasn’t that many of us in the Guard to begin with. With the Pack in the firefighters’ crew and RG-01 and RG-02 off for today, yesterday, and tomorrow, it’s just me and Paps today. Other monsters are goin’ through training though, so we’ll be helping with the ranks soon enough.

 

“But until then, these guys are alllllll MINE!” Undyne exclaimed with that fierce grin of hers at full force.

 

At that a few officers looked in our direction.

 

“Morning Lieutenant.” “Hey there Undyne.” “Are you the walk-along? I don’t envy you.” “Coffee’s fresh, Lieutenant ma’am.”

 

“Thanks guys.” Undyne nudged me again. “Come on, we have that stuff to get through. Ugh.”

 

I followed Undyne through a pair of doors, up a flight of stairs, and down a hallway. In the meantime I wondered about something.

 

“How, uh how is all this fitting in one little building?”

 

“It isn’t.”

 

The Void Being turned away from the officer they were examining to look at Undyne.

 

“Ohhkay, how does that work?”

 

“Mmmmmagic!” There was a long enough pause to make me believe she was telling the truth before she laughed. “Of engineering. They used the old building as a front of sorts, connected the two nearby buildings on either side once they were built, and expanded in there. Check it out,” Undyne said with a point to the nearest window. We went to it and indeed we were a small distance away from the entrance.

 

“Huh. Also neat.”

 

“I know right! It caught me off guard too, but when I found out their little trick, I felt it was pretty clever.” Another elbow to the ribs and we continued our excursion.

In no time at all we were in the big chief’s office. And at the desk was the big chief herself. She had her head down and was engrossed with some papers in front of her. Even from where I was I could see that she had dark-brown skin, a thick-but-muscular body, and her hair was tied up into a ponytail much like Undyne’s was. A very prominent badge sat on her desk as did a placard on the wall behind her. The city’s shield was inlaid into the desk she sat behind. On top of the desk facing us was a name-plate-thing (seriously, I have to look up what that’s called…) that read Anne Clark. All in all, I was both impressed and a little intimidated even though she hadn’t even noticed us.

 

“Morning, Chief. I brought the walk-along with me so we could get the paperwork done,” Undyne said as she went a bit straighter. Her voice lost a bit of that edge that she usually had too.

 

Chief Clark looked up from her paperwork. A once over of Undyne. Directly into my own when she got to me.

 

“You’re the victim, eh? Musta done something horrid to get her attention.” Anne’s lips curled up into a smile that rivaled Undyne’s toothy one. “Oh wait. You did.”

 

“Just how many people did you tell, Undyne?” I hissed lightly.

 

Undyne laughed. “Only her. It was Alphys that posted a thing on the Undernet. Then immediately deleted as soon as I told her what that entailed.”

 

_ Aaaaaaand that’s how sans knew. Dagnabbit! _

 

A blue-scaled arm wrapped around my shoulder and led me up to the desk. I planted myself into one of the two chairs there while Undyne took the other.

 

“Heh. You’re gonna be getting a workout today, I’ll tell you that right now. Undyne’s on patrol, and she’s got the biggest foot-based section to boot.”

 

“Yeah I do!” Undyne said with a fistpump. I whimpered mentally.

 

“Lessee here. Normally we have a ton of paperwork to go through, background checks to make, all that jazz. But from what I hear, you don’t have that worry. Especially since you don’t have a background to check, right?” Anne asked as she continued to study me.

 

“Uh… no, not here anyways. Not that I had much of one back at the other un- back home.”

 

“Don’t worry. I know about that other universe nonsense.” She gave a nod to Undyne. “Makes this a little easier, actually. I have a few forms for you to sign, as well as some rules to go over.”

 

She pushed forward about half the stack she was picking through moments ago. “Here’s a pen.” And there it was.

 

“Okay.” I plucked the pen and started to look through the paperwork. Naturally a good chunk of it was greek to me, but I did understand some of it here and there.

 

“I’ll put it in Layman’s for you. First off, you follow what she says. Period, end of statement. She tells you to stay put you do it. She tells you to run you do it. She tells you to drop and give you twenty you do it cause I think you could use it.”

 

Undyne laughed some more.

 

Anne chuckled a little as well. “Though seriously, she’s the boss. You’re with her but you are  _ not _ an officer. There are things you can do to help, but in legal terms, you are  _ not _ to do what she does unless she tells you otherwise.” The next part was directed at Undyne. “And you better have a good reason for telling them to do so.”

 

“Understood, Chief.” Undyne nudged me yet again and nearly made me screw up a signature. “I know they look a little doughy, but they took on the Underground and came out pretty well. Heck, they took on the King and won! So if it comes to a situation that I need their help, I am certain they’ll do well. ‘Sides, not like anything in this town’s gonna give us grief. Even the anti-monster stuff’s pretty much died down.”

 

Anne sighed. “Died down, not completely gone. You’re right in that things are pretty calm but I want you both on your best behavior, understand me?”

 

“Yes ma’am,” I responded as I put my name down for the fifteenth time.

 

“You got it chief.”

 

“Good. Second, no weapons,” Anne continued.

 

“Don’t have any. Not too fond of them,” I responded as an initial was written down.

 

“Third, while I expect there to be a little chatter, don’t distract her from her job. Bad enough that when Undyne’s on the route with her wife’s Lab in sight we have to radio her every five minutes.”

 

“That only happened one time!”

 

“Twice. And nearly a third time.”

 

“Aw, come on, she’s hot, I can’t help it!” Undyne argued. I could hear the humor in their voices anyways.

 

“No. If I have to, I’ll make it so they have to keep you in line.” I looked up at that and saw the mischievous grin on Chief Clark’s face.

 

“Pfft, I’d like to see them try,” I heard Undyne mutter.

 

“Lastly, I don’t want you getting a swollen head about this. Yes, you’ve helped out a lot of folks. Yes, you are on patrol with one of the bigger stars of the force. But you are  _ not _ an officer. Understood?”

 

I finished the last of the paperwork and pushed them back to the chief with a grin. “Yes ma’am, I understand.”

 

“Hm.” Anne studied me a moment more and nodded. “Good. Alright, get this to James and let him get things sorted and you two can get out on patrol. And Undyne, I mean it. No Lab visits.”

 

“Got it, Chief,” Undyne said with a salute. “Come on, you, we have a route to patrol.”

 

The Void Being waved goodbye to an unknowing Chief Clark. I did the same as Undyne escorted me out of the room.

 

\---

 

“Lessee. First way to go is along South Briar’s. Then we go down Townes, follow that to Barnes…” Undyne listed as she picked through her phone. “Ah, right, have to make a pit-stop at Jerry’s Bait and Tackle.”

 

“Wait, Jerry went into a business?” My eyebrows shot straight up.

 

“No no no, different Jerry, good Jerry,” she answered with a furrowed eyebrow. “Ah, there. Route plotted. ONWARDS!” Undyne pointed dramatically!

 

And after a moment started walking off at a slower pace than I thought possible.

 

I blinked in amazement and watched her stride right along. She caught on that I wasn’t along a short distance away. “What are you staring at? I’m married! Have to ask Alphys first! Come on, we have a walk to do!”

 

That shook me out of my stunned silence and I trotted up to be at even keel with the amazon. “I’m surprised you’re not running.”

 

“Hah! I bet you are! BUT! This isn’t the Underground! I may have have a good idea where things are, but I’m not perfect in the knowledge! Yet! Not like Papyrus is!” Her eye narrowed. “I swear he has nearly everyone’s names memorized by now.”

 

_ If he doesn’t, I’d be shocked. _

 

Undyne swatted me on the shoulder. “Now don’t you distract me! I’ll point out some things, but this is a walk-around, not a tour! AND I AIN’T A- ahem, I’m not a tour guide.”

 

“Duly noted.” I kept my eyes peeled. And from how the Void Being was periscoping around so were they.

 

“What all are we keeping a lookout for?”

 

“In this part of town?” Undyne ticked off a few things on one hand. “Jaywalkers, litterbugs, foul-mouthed punks and graffiti.”

 

“Like what Papyrus has been dealing with?”

 

“Heard about that, eh? Nah, I’m not on that assignment. I’m just on the lookout for small fry in comparison,” Undyne explained. “I’m also to keep an eye out for officers in need of assistance.”

 

“How often does that happen?” I asked as we stopped at a crosswalk.

 

“Not of- HEY!” I nearly jumped out of my skin at her exclamation. From the sounds of it so did the guy half a block down. “Cross-walk’s down here! Only warning!”

 

“Y-y-yes ma’am! Sorry ma’am!” The guy picked himself up and quickly made his way to the crosswalk where we were waiting.

  
“Much better,” Undyne said with a grin. Traffic stopped, the light for us to cross dinged on, and the four of us made our way. THe impromptu guest practically ran and kept up his pace until he got to his destination.

 

“Just how slow have things been for you to crack down on jaywalkers?”

 

Undyne tutted. “Doesn’t matter if we are in a slow period or a crime wave. I’m not gonna let someone just break the rules so obviously.  _ Especially _ in early morning traffic! You know how many people are driving sleep deprived!?”

 

“Quite a few, admittedly,” I agreed. 

 

Our walk along South Briar’s gave me more chances to look into the life of Ebbot. A couple law offices were on this street, as well as a barber’s shop, an old-looking soda shop, two convenience stores and a lot of apartments. Most of the folks we passed by were human. A couple gave Undyne open stares, but otherwise she was just treated as another officer walking around. I had many questions that rolled around my head as we walked but I remembered the Chief’s warning against chit-chat.

 

Undyne apparently wasn’t as worried as I was.

 

“That’s Melman’s, one of the law offices that helped us out in the early days. Several monster families swear by them. Me, I’m partial to Tom Holk’s office.” She pointed out the place which was right across the street from Melman’s. Both looked pretty much identical to me, but what did I know about lawyers?

 

“That McDonalds over there is new. Not a fan of them. I mean, their food is okay, but it’s nothing compared to Grillby’s. Kinda cool how they didn’t try to run him out business though. Guess they knew that quality was gonna win!

 

“OH! And there’s Tellsend Suites. They were the first apartment complex to have monster tenants. The rent’s okay, but I  _ love _ the home Alphys and I built.”

 

“She helped build a house?” I asked as I pictured Alphys trying to hammer a nail while wearing an constructor’s outfit.

 

“She came up with the blueprints and stuff. Helped a little with the framework. Papyrus and I did most of the heavy stuff.” Undyne sobered a little. “Asgore helped too, for as much as he was able.”

 

I kept quiet. There was the obvious question, but I wasn’t fool enough to just-

 

“Yeah, I miss him. He’s only been gone a few months now, but it’s only recently I realized just how gone he’s been for so long.” Undyne looked around before she focused back on the sidewalk ahead of us. “I bet the big guy’s having a ball with his gardening. Heh.”

 

“Yeah. Kinda wish I had gotten to know him a bit better.”

 

“Heh. He knew a lot about you.”

 

I turned to Undyne with a confused look on my face. “Come again?”

 

“Okay, he didn’t quite know  _ intimate details _ , but thanks to the bullet exchange you two went through Asgore found out a lot about your personality. He didn’t tell me what, but he did admit that he found a fair bit of peace and honesty to your words as you fought. Kinda helped him out, actually.”

 

Once more I was thrown off guard by random revelations. “Wow.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Undyne nudged me again. “Hey, that’s where Papyrus took down his first crook.”

 

“Oho ho?”

 

“Oh yeah it was  _ awesome! _ ” Undyne’s grin returned ten-fold. “See, he was on his walk-around, like we are…”

 

\---

 

It was around noon when the exercise of the morning started to catch up with me. I wasn’t completely winded considering that we were walking at a steady pace the whole time. Still was a bit sweaty though.

 

“Oh come on it’s not that bad!”

 

“Says the fish-lady who does this for a living!”

 

“Not a fish! Amazon!”

 

Another slap to the back was given to me. The Void Being on her shoulder waved hello and continued their look-around.

 

“Buuuut it is about time for a quick break. Moment.” Undyne pulled off her walkie and pushed a button.

  
“Hey, Jackson, heads up. Going on a quick meal break. Be back on the walk in a short bit.”

 

There was a moment before someone answered back. Slightly high-pitched someone too. “Copy that.”

 

“Okay we got about forty minutes, not including wait time. I say…” Undyne looked around. “Them.” She pointed and my attention was directed to a small asian-looking restaurant. “Good stuff, mostly made for the people in this country, but good stuff.” She went to the nearest crosswalk. I joined her.

 

A small trip later we were inside the eatery. It was kinda pleasant actually. Good smells, pretty on-the-nose decor. But the person running the place was this very friendly old asian lady who gabbed at a rapid pace when she saw Undyne. A few hellos were exchanged, orders were taken, and Undyne and I were shown to our seats.

 

“She likes you, eh?”

 

“Ehhhhhhh I pass by often enough. Get noodles and veggies for Alphys when I feel she’s eaten too much of that instant ramen crap.” 

 

I chuckled. “Bet that happens often, eh?”

 

“Not as much as it used to, but there have been a few times where I’ve had to get her out into the sun instead of using that sunlamp and heat-rock of hers.”

 

_ Note to self, she does in fact use a rock lizard-style. _

 

“Me? I like their kung pao whatever. They actually use some  _ awesome _ spices! I may not like getting hot but man oh MAN do they know how to crank up the heat!!!”

 

I chuckled at her expressions and passion. Undyne was always so cool. As she and I talked the Void Being settled onto a third spot at the table. I had made sure to order them a tiny portion of things so that they could eat.

 

“Uh, Undyne, please tell me they have monster-style food here?”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I can’t eat human stuff for a while, remember?”

 

Undyne narrowed her eye in thought. The light bulb went off in her mind. “OH! Right! The no-gut-micro somethings, right? Alphys explained that to me. Right! Okay, one moment!”   
  
The amazon-cop bolted from her chair to go talk to the lady in charge. In the meantime I patted the Void Being on the head. “Holding up okay there?”

 

They nodded once and grinned widely. They pointed all around and seemed to be talking very animatedly with unheard words and unreadable hand signals

 

“Yeah, bet this is all sorts of interesting, eh?” They nodded again. “Least you get to ride on Undyne’s shoulder.”

 

They laughed and bobbed. 

 

“I figure… we give Alphys a few days to cool down, then we go talk to her about the whole spectrum thing again. See if we can’t get you visible to folks.”

 

Their happy look dimmed a little but they nodded anyways.

 

“Until then, keep the cat videos at two in the morning to a minimum? Headphones or something?”

 

They gave me a sheepish grin. Several hands shrugged up into the air.

 

“Okay, I talked to the boss-lady, and they have got your order in as monster-style too. I’m just thankful she installed some of those equipment doohickeys that Alphys made up a few months ago,” Undyne announced as she sat back down. “How’s your friend liking the walk so far?”

 

“They’re loving it, the lucky s-o-b they are.” I got a tongue again.

 

“What, cause they don’t have to walk?” Undyne’s eye narrowed as she grinned playfully. “Or cause they get to ride on my shoulder?”

 

I admit I went fairly red at the question. Undyne guffawed.

 

“Hah, I knew it!” She slapped the table and grinned wider. “Alphys told me about your looks and now that I know I see them  _ alllllll  _ the time. Perv.”

 

I had no idea how to respond.

 

Undyne laughed harder. “Yeah, okay, that was worth it. I know you ain’t lookin’ on purpose. Maybe. But no oggling my wife. Without my permission.”

 

“Uhm. Okay.” I was really not sure where to take all this. A drink of water that I got just now would probably be the best-

 

“Besides, I know a couple monsters who would be jealous if you did.”

 

There went that water up the nose!

 

“W-what?!”

 

Undyne laughed too hard at my face and the water dripping out my nostrils to be able to answer.

 

\---

 

“Oh come on, I said I was sorry!”

 

“My nose still burns,” I said with a huff.

 

“I was just ribbing ya! Come on,” Undyne nudged me in the ribs for the twelfth time in as many minutes. “You kinda owed me from the other day.”

 

I looked at Undyne. She looked at me. The Void Being looked between the both of us.

 

With a heavy sigh I relented and stuck out a hand. “Okay, okay, we’re even.”

 

The hand was shook hard enough to nearly pop it out of its socket. “GOOD! Now we have more to go before we’re done, so come on! Let’s MOVE!” 

 

Undyne went right back to that slowish pace from before. I rolled my eyes but followed along.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come. All I will say ;)
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's also doing some commissions for folks to help out with money things. Check it out [ here! ](http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8357186/)
> 
> Micbunny's been having a few blehs herself. I feel for her ^^;
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much. Special Kudos to Chairtastic this time, albeit last second.
> 
> Till later folks!


	12. At Least the Food was Good

“Alright, alright, I’ve put it off long enough. To Jerry’s,” Undyne announced. She made a sharp turn onto Aquifer Road and I followed right along. The further we went down the stretch of pavement the less buildings were present. To add to this the smell of a natural lake increased.

 

“I’m surprised this city… town? Whatever the nomenclature is is so close to a lake,” I remarked. The Void Being gave a nod to my statement and periscoped even taller on Undyne’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, it’s awesome! I get to swim there every weekend! When I’m off anyways. Lessee… That way,” Undyne said with a point. The road we traveled soon gave way to a small port with a few boats tied to it. The lake itself was pretty massive. The trees on the opposite were basically toothpicks in my perspective. The water itself was a healthy greenish-blue in the distance and an equally healthy murky green up close. 

 

And the whole scene was mired by the ever-present smell of fish.  _ Bleh. _

 

“Ahh! Smell that air!” Undyne’s chest puffed up dramatically as she took in one large breath. “Yep! Definitely a healthy lake!” She gave me a nudge and continued her walk. The Void Being waved and mimicked her breathing actions. Apparently they weren’t as perturbed by the scent as I was.

 

To my credit I did get pretty used to it fairly quickly. As we walked about the port I saw a tentacle splash out of the water. An anchor shined in its grip which was soon deposited onto a barge. “Thanks Onion-san! We’ve been looking for that for weeks!”

 

“No problem!” The octo-monster called back to one of the sailors. “I’ll keep hunting for other little treasures, okay?”

 

He received a chorus of agreements and Onion-san slipped back into the waters.

 

“Hey, glad to see Onion-san’s doing well,” I said to Undyne. She turned her head to the waters and smiled.

 

“Yeah, he’s been helping a lot with cleanup in the lake. There wasn’t much trash to begin with but he’s pulled up lots,” Undyne explained. A short way into the pier and we stood before a small shop with the words “Jerry’s Bait and Tackle” emblazoned in faded red letters.

 

“Why for the pitstop anyways?”

 

Undyne knocked on the door. “Jerry’s a little, eh, paranoid? And the force figured out a long time ago that sending someone to chat him up once a week as opposed to letting him call in constantly would be a better use of our time. It’s my week to do so, so you get a bonus today!”

 

“Hoo, lucky me,” I deadpanned.

 

“Heeeey, he’s cool. Just be prepared for a chat if he feels like you need it,” Undyne said with a nudge. Soon after she finished there was a series of clicks followed by the door opening up a crack.

 

“Who’s there?” My eyebrow went up at the sound of a very Irish accent of an undoubtedly older gentleman.

 

“Undyne of the Ebbot Police Force. And a walk-along,” Undyne answered as she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into Jerry’s point of view.

 

“They vetted?”

 

“Well of course they are! What kind of operation would we be that I’d bring an unvetted so-and-so into your shop? Also!” She grinned extra wide at this. “This is the person who got us out!”

 

“Oh eh you don’t say! By all means come in come in!” The door closed and even  _ more _ clicks were heard. The Void Being leaned in close to listen to the metallic melodies.

 

A few moments later the door swung open. Jerry… well, Jerry was in the exact garb of the most stereotypical old-man bait-and-tackle-shop-owner. Complete with that floppy hat with hooks and lures adorning the brim. He himself was an older gentleman somewhere in his sixties and not too badly aged in terms of physical health from what I could tell.

 

We were ushered in quickly and the door was locked behind us. Just two locks so I guess Jerry wasn’t too worried about me. The place was oldish to be sure but it was very well maintained. I didn’t know much about fishing, seeing as it had been quite some time since I had last done the activity, but the prices on the supplies seemed fair enough. Heck, he had some of the old stick-style poles on special. Neat. 

 

“You got roped into walkin’ with this lady? I’d be knackered in a couple blocks just being with her. Lively one the Lieutenant is,” Jerry said aloud as he shuffled around to behind his counter. “Alright, so I got some things that been doin’ a number on me. First off, I swear to ya that I’ve been seeing folks running around to docks after hours.”

 

Undyne sighed and leaned against a shelf. “Jerry, we’ve been over this. This is a twenty-four hour open pier since the people who owned it okayed the change a few months ago. But I’ll have someone out here to check up on things like normal.”

 

“Just don’t trust ‘em out there. What are they doing in the dead of the night?” Jerry leaned over and peeked through his blinds.

 

“Night time fishing. The same reason why you’re open then too, remember?” Undyne smirked. “What else you got for me, Jerry?”

 

“Well now miss, I’ve been seeing people peekin’ in through my windows. And a few of them have been right pews about it too, pressin’ their noses up against the glass,” Jerry continued.

 

“What kindsa folks?” Undyne asked as she gave me a wink.

 

“All sortsa folks. Some as old as me, some really young, all of them-”

 

“Holding fishing poles or tackle boxes?”

 

Jerry snapped his fingers. “Yes them’s the like!”

 

“Like your customers? Who are still getting used to your new hours?” Undyne asked further with a placating smile on her face.

 

“Ohhh they act like my customers…” The old man doddered on. “I’ve also been hearing lots of rattling noises and the like at night.”

 

“Trash cans?”

 

Jerry nodded hard. “And my displays outside too!”

 

The two continued to chat away as I wandered the shop. There was a few interesting knick-knacks here and there. Especially the dark-blue sparkly nightcrawler look-alikes. I poked a few of them while the conversation grew slightly more heated (on Jerry’s side). Wait, no, Jerry was… hm.

 

“And I say there’s a hidden camera in here somewhere!”

 

“That’s your own camera. You installed it yourself when you thought people were after your special cricket blend.”

 

I poked my head around the shelf and found the two chatting away just fine. The only one that looked perturbed was the Void Being. They had gone into the periscope position again and stared at the door. Their head turned towards me and several hands pointed at the wooden portal.

 

At that prompt I went up to the door and listened hard.  _ Hmm… _

 

A few seconds in and I got the answer to my unasked question!

 

“Undyne! There’s some kinda commotion out there!”

 

“WHAT?!” Undyne was at the door in a flash and Jerry was at his window.

 

“Oi! Get out there! There’s some stook yelling at folks!”

 

Undyne unlocked the door quickly and nearly ripped the door off its hinges. I jogged after her while Jerry closed the door behind us.

 

The point of contention was made very clear very quickly. One of the sailors that had been thanking Onion-san earlier was now screaming at the top of his lungs and brandishing something… silverish. His fellow sailors held up their hands and appeared to be talking to the guy.

 

“Crudballs, he’s armed.” Undyne held out an arm and held me back. “Stay put. Where’s that little friend of yours?”

 

“Your shoulder,” I answered. I had a feeling where this question was going so I plucked them off their perch.

 

“Good, on the same page. Now stay put,” the officer of the law warned me before she trotted off towards the commotion. I heard her say something on her radio but I couldn’t quite make out what. She took determined but cautious steps towards the sailor. I took my own spot behind some crates and nets.

 

The guy was definitely off his rocker at the moment. I could see him look around wildly, almost maniacally. Every time one of his friends would try to get close that weapon in his hands would get swung around wildly. His shouting was way more pronounced outside than in the shop, but I still couldn’t make out what he said.

 

“Wonder what made him snap? He was doing okay just a little while ago,” I asked of the Void Being. They could only give a shrug and watched closely.

 

Undyne started to get close to the sailor. At first things started to go okay. She calmly talked to him, kept her hands up and away from her hips. It was now that I noticed that she didn’t keep a gun on her person. Or any other weapon for that matter.

 

_ Guess she and the other monsters on the force were given special permission to use their magic.  _ I kept my eyes peeled just in case.

 

The guy seemed to calm down just a little. It wasn’t much aside from him lowering the weapon a hair and his movement slowed down considerably. Undyne kept her hands up and overall proved how well she was at conflict resolution when, you know, she wasn’t in a murderous mood for the good of her people.

 

_ Least she knows how to be non-violent. Proves how she got up to Lieutenant so fast. _

 

I saw a patrol car pull up some ways away from the pier area. A couple officers got out and made their way over to where the situation was going down.

 

Suddenly, the man snapped again. As in, literally, his spine snapped rigid and his eyes went so wide I could see the whites from where I was. He lashed out twice against Undyne and missed her by a hair’s breadth on the second swing. She used his momentum against him by pulling his swung arm around and slammed him against the ground. The crunch of wood echoed across the lake. The other two officers hightailed it faster to their location, one of which pulled out her handcuffs.

 

The man tried to struggle more but with Undyne’s superior strength and his position there wasn’t a snowball’s chance of him getting out of the hold she had him under. The other two officers helped out by keeping him subdued while Undyne slapped a pair of handcuffs on him.

 

“Won’t be the last I tell ya.”

 

“GAHH!!” I jumped up into the air and found that Jerry was less than a foot to the right of me. The poor Void Being had to hold onto my shoulder for dear life for they jumped when I did.

 

“Wh-what do you mean by that?”

 

“It’s what I been tellin’ folks for years. There’s somethin’ here and that somethin’s gonna be doing things to folks. And them monsters ain’t the cause of it, no, but they’s likely gonna be the target of it all. Not that anyone wants to listen to me none. But mark my words, ain’t the last. Just the beginning.”

 

I kept my ground but gave Jerry a rather incredulous look about that statement. “Folks around here kinda like the monsters from what I can tell.”

 

“It ain’t the people that’s gonna cause it you daft idiot. It’s the something. I been trying to tell folks but no one listens,” Jerry said with a shake of his head. His gaze never left the pile of people as they tried to get the now-thrashing sailor to calm down. Or at least get a secondary pair of ankle-cuffs on him. 

 

“Just mark my words.” Jerry walked back to his shop and slammed the door closed and a multitude of clicks were heard once more.

 

The Void Being and I looked at one another. When we turned back to the scene everything appeared to be handled. The sailor was breathing hard but didn’t seem to want to fight any more. Undyne kept him pinned down anyways while the other two officers took notes from his friends and witnesses. She caught sight of me and gave me a hard nod.

 

“Guess it’s okay to get down there. Or at least closer or something.” I stood up and with the Void Being now in my shirt pocket made our way down to the scene. I got to the edge of the pier nearest where the sailors’ boat was and Undyne shook her head. I stopped there.

 

The sailor’s breathing came out in ragged gasps that could be heard from where I was. I caught snippets of the other sailors’ answers (“No, he was acting fine all morning.” “Tom’s been sober for five years now, he’s been really proud of that.”) and saw a tentacle in the water. I squatted down by the edge of the pier as Onion-san breached the surface slowly.

 

“Hey there,” I greeted nicely.

 

“Hello friend. Gee, Tom sure did seem upset about something,” Onion-san said sadly. “He never acts like that, especially when he’s on his boat. He loves the boating, he told me so.”

 

“What’d you see? Or hear?” I made a mental note to try and remember everything I could for Undyne and the other officers.

 

“I was looking for more stuff he lost long ago when his first boat sank. Then I heard muffled yelling and shouting. I peeked over the boat’s hull but ducked back down when I saw something silvery swung at me. I stayed down there till just now cause I didn’t want to touch that silvery thing. Or it to touch me,” The octo-monster explained. The poor guy’s usual cheery smile was wiped clean and was replaced with a look that mixed together concern and fear.

 

“Hm. Well, those two officers are trying to get answers and such, so go let them know that, okay?”

 

He nodded twice which caused the waters around him to slosh around. “I shall go do so.” Onion-san sank below the surface once more and swam over to where the two officers stood.

I kept my distance while the folks finished up their questions. A short while later after it appeared everyone got what they needed said. The two officers helped Undyne get the now considerably calmer Tom onto his feet and into the vehicle they brought with them. One of the two drove off with a morose looking Tom while the other stayed put to survey the scene.

 

“Well! That was! Interesting!” Undyne exclaimed when she got back to where I was standing. “Figures that my first walk-along would be an exciting one! You just have a knack for being around for the weird stuff, huh?” She gave me a nudge to the side.

 

“Yeah, no kidding. What was he on about?”

 

Undyne shrugged. “Honestly I didn’t catch most of it. Kept rambling out numbers. But I knew I had to get him either calmed or subdued. So I did!” She beamed widely and put on a heroic pose.

 

“What was he using anyways?”

 

“Some old scaling knife. Which is funny considering everyone keeps thinking I’m a fish.”

 

I smirked. “That’s right, you’re not a fish.”

 

“Damn str-!”

 

“You’re an alligator, clearly.”

 

Undyne sputtered. “ALLIGATOR!?”

 

“Crocodile?” I ventured. The Void Being started waving a few of their arms.

 

Undyne’s eye narrowed. “You got three seconds to run, buster.”

 

“Running ma’am!”

 

\---

 

“What’d you see exactly?”

 

I was sitting in front of the chief’s desk once more. Undyne was off doing some paperwork about the incident so I got the chance to detail the events to the head honcho. Honcha?

 

“Not much in the grand scheme of things. We were inside Jerry’s shop while he did his ranting thing, then I heard a commotion outside.” I paused for a moment. “Well, not me initially. The, uh, being you can’t see that’s on my shoulder heard it first.”

 

Chief Clark looked up from her writing and gave me a very bewildered, concerned look. She glanced to my shoulders then focused back on me. “A little invisible being that no one else but you can see told you that someone was shouting outside.”

 

The Void Being frumped hard and glared tiny daggers at the chief.

 

“That, uhm, yes that sounds a little crazy when it’s put like that. But I can prove it!” I scooped up the Void Being. “Alright if she holds you for a moment? The whole tingly sensation thing.”

 

They gave me an incredulous look but shrugged nonetheless.

 

“Okay, Chief, if you would hold out your hands?”

 

Anne looked just as incredulous as the Void Being did but held her hands out flat. I held the Void Being forward and when I got close enough they slithered onto her palms. The chief’s eyes went huge. 

 

“My hands just fell asleep,” she announced aloud. I was pretty impressed with how well she stayed composed. I simply grinned and helped the Void Being come back onto my shoulder. 

 

“Believe me now?”

 

Anne studied me and my shoulder. “Yeah. I believe you. Okay, they heard the commotion first. You went over and…?”

 

“Leaned against the door and listened. Once I recognized the sound of shouting, with Jerry looking outside to tell us what was going on, Undyne rushed out as soon as she could. I followed what she said and stayed out of the way while she handled the situation. The guy was…. unhinged. Not right in the head? Whatever the best way to say it is. Undyne did pretty good in talking him down… at least at first. Next thing I knew he was slashing away again. The other two officers showed up and helped Undyne get him into the vehicle once she pinned him down. Then, it was like a switch. He just… mellowed out.”

 

Anne wrote the whole time. When she finished she stared down at the report. “Hm. About what the other witnesses said. Also, I have to thank you.”

 

“Come again?”

 

Chief Clark pointed her pen at me. “You did exactly what Undyne said to do. Any other person might have been tempted to join in and ‘help’. Especially since you were a person that apparently had quite the adventure.”

 

“Ahh, right, the whole relapse thing. Yeah, no, I already had... something try to weaponize that against me. Not happening again if I can help it,” I refuted. I gave a sigh despite myself. “Though, admittedly, going on another adventure like that would be fun.”

 

Anne’s eye went up. I waved my hands. “No no no, not gonna go looking for trouble.”

 

“Good. Was worried there for a moment.”

 

I tapped her desk now. “Strangest thing.”

 

“What is?”

 

I looked at the witness reports and caught a few snippets here and there. “Everyone says that Onion-san was the first one to really get that knife swung at him. But just a short while earlier he and Tom were talkin like best buds. Heck, Onion-san was going out of his way to pick up old junk that Tom had lost in the lake.”

 

“And as you said, it was like a switch. I have a note here already from one of the wardens downstairs saying that Tom is telling everyone he can that he’s sorry and he has no idea what came over him,” Anne continued for me. 

 

“Like I said, strangest thing.”

 

“Hm.” The chief leaned back in her chair. “However he’s feeling he still attacked a few folks as well as an officer. He’s gonna be in lock up for a few days, barring things. Maybe get a psychologist involved.”

 

“Okay.” Not sure what else I could say to that. I wasn’t an officer after all. The Void Being simply nodded a few times to the results.

 

“As for you? You’re off the hook the rest of the day.”

 

“Wha, really?” That caught me off guard. 

 

Anne shrugged. “There wasn’t much left to Undyne’s route, and with the incident she’s gonna be busy with other things. So, yeah. Go home.”

 

“Huh. Okay then.” I pushed myself off her chair and made sure the Void Being didn’t fall off in the process. “Anything else I could do?”

 

“Stay out of trouble on your way home, don’t jaywalk, and tell Undyne that I need to talk to her too if you pass by. Otherwise you’re clear.” Anne answered as she shifted in her chair.

 

“Will do on all accounts. Later, Chief.”

 

She grunted a goodbye while I left the room. It wasn’t hard to find Undyne who was, rather surprisingly, hunched over a stack of paperwork.

 

“Hey there. Chief says she wants to talk to you next.”

 

Undyne sat up with a groan. “Damn paperwork. Yeah, gotcha. And good work today.”

 

“What, staying out of the way?” I said with a bit of snark in my voice.

 

“Yep! Cause you did what I needed you to do and you helped out because of that. Make my life easier to have one more witness.” Undyne grinned widely. “Besides it made my day more interesting to show you around town.”

 

“And I appreciate you doing so.”

 

Undyne gave out her trademark guffaw. “Alright, get going, I know you have a bunny-folk family waitin’ on ya. Go on, go on! I got this.”

 

“If you say so. Good night.”

 

I got a one-handed wave in response. A few minutes later I was out of the station and on the sidewalk for home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bleh this took way too long to get out for my liking. But I wanted to make sure that the events within went as I needed them to. And I was a bit sick in the meantime. >.>;;;;
> 
> I had fun writing Jerry.
> 
> As always, here is Liatai's Gaster-OC-Ask-Me Tumblr [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) She's also doing some commissions for folks to help out with money things. Check it out [ here! ](http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8357186/)
> 
> Micbunny's helped a lot just by giving me good feedback on the events as well as playing the part of a good reader. Thankya much doodette!
> 
> Chairtastic had a sizeable part to play as he helped me figure out... ah ah ah, can't say. Spoilers....
> 
> I won't get tired of saying this, Liatai and Micbunny continue to be the awesomest beta-readers ever! Thank you both so so much. Special Kudos to Chairtastic this time as well!
> 
> Till later folks!


	13. Undyne's An Alligator Confirmed!

  
  
  
  


**9:05 pm**

  
  


“I know you’ve told me this a few times, but could you tell me again how exactly you roped me into this?” 

 

“GLADLY! I TOLD YOU THAT I NEEDED HELP WITH A WATCH, THAT THE CHIEF OKAYED YOU STAYING WITH ME SO LONG AS YOU DO WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME YOU WERE WITH AN OFFICER, AND JADE PUSHED YOU OUT THE DOOR SO THAT YOU COULD GET OVER WHATEVER THE TEMMIE INCIDENT WAS!”

 

I shuddered hard. The memories were still fresh. As was the horror lingering in my mind.

 

“Please don’t remind me Paps. Too horrid. So much horrid.” I picked up my thermos filled with monster-style golden flower tea and took a swig. “Stake-out, eh?”

 

“INDEED! YOU SEE, IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS NOW, AND THOSE BLASTED MARKINGS WON’T STOP APPEARING EVERYWHERE ON THESE BUILDINGS! AND THAT’S BAD! SO MUCH TIME WASTED OVER WASHING! SO! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAME UP WITH THE BOLD IDEA OF KEEPING AN EYE SOCKET ON THE AREA THAT IS HIT THE MOST OFTEN!” Papyrus declared with a flair of his hands which was slightly mired by the cramped conditions of the patrol car we were in.

 

“Thus the stake-out. Alrighty. Mind if I ask why me?” I nibbled on one of the dozen cinnabunnies that had somehow made their way into the car. The Void Being between us did the same. 

 

“I WILL ALSO ANSWER THAT QUESTION GLADLY! YOU HAVE EXTENSIVE HISTORY AS A HUMAN THAT HAS DEALT WITH ODD THINGS WHO ISN’T A CHILD THAT NEEDS TO BE READY FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW! YOU ALREADY HAVE A NICE ENOUGH REPUTATION FROM THE CHIEF AS SOMEONE THAT IS RELIABLE BUT ISN’T QUITE ABLE TO BE AN OFFICER BECAUSE OF QUITE A FEW LEGAL REASONS AT THIS TIME! AND YOU ARE VERY WILLING TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS WITHOUT BURNING OUT IN THE SHINING GLORY THAT IS MY AWESOMENESS!”

 

_ Translation, he’s lovable but even the other officers have their limits. Heee, understandable folks. _ I just conceded to his wisdom with a nod and took another nibble of cinnabunny.

 

“BUT NOW THE TIME FOR WORDS HAS ENDED! WE MUST KEEP OUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!” Papyrus leaned forward with his leather-covered hands clamped down on the wheel and stared so hard at the walls in front of us that I was worried they would crumble.

 

I stared at Papyrus for a few moments. When it became apparent that the skeletal monster of the law would be very focused for a while I directed my attention to the walls as well.

 

_ Might as well get comfy. _

  
  


**9:45 pm**

  
  


The Void Being was working on their second cinnabunny. I was happy that they enjoyed the treats but I was starting to get worried about them eating so much lately.

 

“Just where do you put all that food?” I inquired of the Fragment.

 

They stopped mid-bite and looked up at me. After a few seconds they looked away and poked their fragmented belly-analogue. It seemed no bigger or smaller than when we first escaped the Void.

 

The Void Being looked back up at me and shrugged.

 

“No clue, hm? Think it’s safe to eat all that food?”

 

They shrugged again but this time they had a grin that suggested that they were willing to continue.

 

Papyrus continued to stare down the walls. Given the intensity I expected them to bow down in surrender at any given moment.

  
  


**10:27 pm**

  
  


I tapped on the phone from home. The device still didn’t react to any signal in the area no matter how many times I turned it off and back on again.

 

_ Alphys did theorize that it might be able to connect if did a factory reset thing. But if I did that then everything I brought in from the homelands might get erased. Doesn’t help that we found out that the memory on it doesn’t respond to computers on this side of the multiverse either. Hrm. _

 

I lightly batted the Void Being’s many hands away from my tea thermos and opened the small bottle of water that Shirley had given to him. They frumped extra hard.

 

“Uh uh, you’ve been eating almost nothing but sweets lately. You’re lucky I let you continue to munch on those…” I double checked the box. “Five? Holy crow, you ate  _ five _ of them?”

 

“NO, I HAD ONE MYSELF.” I nearly leapt out of my skin. This was the first time Papyrus had even reacted to us in the last hour and half. His sockets still didn’t leave the wall though. “I ATE IT WHILE YOU WERE DISTRACTED WITH YOUR PHONE.”

 

“Still, that’s four bunnies for a being that fits in the palm of my hand. I don’t care if you’re turning this all into void-matter, that’s enough sugar for you, dood.” I pushed the small cup of water into their hands and closed the box. The Void Being gave my own midsection a pointed stare and gave me a look that definitely called me a hypocrite.   
  


“Yeah yeah, I’m fully aware that I have a few extra pounds. I am gonna take steps to eliminate them.”

 

“I FOR ONE AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT! I WILL LET UNDYNE KNOW SO THAT SHE CAN BEGIN YOUR WORKOUT ROUTINE AS SOON AS SHE CAN!”

 

“.....What….”

 

The Void Being couldn’t have looked any more smug.

  
  


**11:03 pm**

  
  


“You still watch Mettaton?”

 

“RELIGIOUSLY!”

 

“Reruns and all?”

 

“WHEN I AM HOME AND SANS HASN’T ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE RECORDINGS OFF THE DVR FOR HIS SCIENCEY SHOWS!”

 

“How often does that happen?”

 

“NEVER!”

 

“The being at home or the deletion?”

 

“DON’T YOU START WITH ME, SANS!”

 

“I’m not sans, I’m-”

 

“YOU TALK LIKE SANS, YOU EAT LIKE SANS, YOU WEAR A HOODIE LIKE SANS! THEREFORE! YOU ARE A SANS!”

 

“ _ A _ sans? You mean there are more of him out there?”

 

“QUITE A FEW! SEE, THE FORMER QUEEN IS A SANS!”

 

“Oh this I have got to hear.”

 

“I SHALL ELUCIDATE! A SANS IS A BEING THAT EITHER TALKS IN PUNS, WEARS THINGS IN THEIR OWN STYLE REGARDLESS OF WEATHER OR POPULAR STYLE, KNOWS MORE THAN THEY THINK THEY ARE LETTING ON, AND EATS QUITE A BIT. IF THEY DO? THEY ARE A SANS! WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT.”

 

“Ohh you  _ did _ cotton on to that aspect of him, eh?”

 

“OF COURSE I DID! HE’S MY BROTHER! AND WHILE HE CERTAINLY ENJOYS PLAYING THE MYSTERIOUS DARK-HERO-IN-THE-SHADOWS OR FEELS HE MUST, I WISH HE WOULD BE MORE VISIBLY PROACTIVE SOMETIMES. EVERYONE DESERVES TO KNOW HOW WONDERFUL MY BROTHER IS, NOT JUST A SELECT FEW!” 

 

I sat back in a bit of stunned silence at that. “Heh. Wow. Impressive, Paps.”

 

“BUT OF COURSE! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! THERE IS LITTLE THAT ESCAPES MY EVER-VIGILANT EYESOCKETS!”

 

“Right on, dood. Back to the ex-queen…”

 

“THAT’S AN EASY ONE! LOOK AT HER ROBES! LOOK AT HOW MUCH PIE SHE MAKES! LOOK AT HOW MUCH SHE ENJOYS THE WORST PUNS! LOOK AT THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SECRETS SHE KEPT HIDDEN FROM EVERYONE INCLUDING HERSELF! WHY, IF SHE WAS ANY MORE SANS-ISH SHE’D BE A CLONE! A VERY TALL CLONE, BUT A CLONE NONETHELESS.”

 

“Wanna know something fun?”

 

“ABSOLUTELY!”

 

“You’re not the only one who feels that way. Back in my home universe sans-slash-Toriel was a very…  _ very _ popular ship. As in, hundreds if not thousands of pictures, memes, stories, you name it. Made within  _ hours _ of the game we played being released to the world.”

 

Papyrus’ jaw dropped and eyes boggled. Yet still he did not look away from his chosen wall of the last few minutes.

 

“YOU! MUST! BE! JOKING! SANS?! MY BROTHER SANS?! AND THE QUEEN!?”

 

“They are called ‘Soriel’. Second biggest ship of the Underground.”

 

“GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! SANS IS NOT ONE FOR ROMANCE! FRIENDS DEFINITELY BUT ROMANCE?!”

 

“Oh it goes a bit beyond romance…”

 

“EGADS! IF THEY ARE THE SECOND MOST POPULAR SHIP, WHO’S THE BIGGEST ONE?!”

 

“It’s a tie. The first one I’ll mention is the most obvious: Alphys and Undyne.”

 

“STAR CROSSED LOVERS THAT WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! I HEARTILY APPROVE!”

 

“The other one…. wellllllll….”

 

Papyrus went stock still. THe Void Being looked on with great interest and curiosity in their eyes.

 

“It’s you-”

 

“YES! I MEAN, CONTINUE!”

 

“And Mettaton.”

 

The car went so silent I swear I heard Jerry in his tackle shop.

  
  


**11:44 pm**

 

Papyrus had yet to move since I told him of the grand secret. I waved a hand in front of his f-

 

Scratch that he snagged my wrist.

 

“ME!?! AND METTATON!?!?!”

 

There was way more surprise in that voice than I expected.

 

“Uhhh yeah. For whatever reason, people latched onto your personalities, took a few quotes about how you liked his show, and just… ran with it.”

 

“THEY DIDN’T RUN WITH IT, THEY ROCKETED WITH IT! INTO SPACE! WITH JETS! AND LASER BEAMS! AND I IMAGINE ABOUT EIGHTY THOUSAND TONS OF GLITTER!”

 

“So you don’t like him that m-”

 

“HE’S A STAR! THE BIGGEST ONE FROM THE UNDERGROUND! ASIDE FROM ME THE ONLY ONE OF THE UNDERGROUND! WHO _DIDN’T_ LIKE METTATON THAT WASN’T BURGERPANTS!? WHERE DID PEOPLE GET THAT IDEA?!”

 

“Dood, you’ve been around Alphys. Since when does shipping make sense?”

 

Papyrus seemed to contemplate this. He let my wrist go too. His free hand rubbed the bottom of his mandible.

 

“I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT. I STILL REMEMBER THAT “KISSES OF SUNLIGHT, MOONLIGHT PASSION” SLASHFIC SHE ASKED ME TO LOOK OVER. I HAD TO CORRECT SO MANY TENSE ERRORS IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH ALONE!”

 

“Oh it gets better. Those were just the top three. There are-”

 

“NOPE! I AM GOING TO NOPE THAT ONE RIGHT NOW! NO MORE SHIPPING! THAT SHIP HAS SAILED AND HAS GONE CARRENING OVER THE WATERFALL THAT IS THE INSANITY OF SHIPPING! I AM OUT OF SHIPPING LABELS! YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE SHIPPING SERVICE PRICES! NOPE!”

 

“That’s a no to you dating Mettaton then?”   
  


“OF COURSE NOT! THAT’S _YOUR_ JOB!”

 

“Uhhhh-”

 

“ _EVERYONE_ FROM THE UNDERGROUND KNOWS IT TOO! HE’S TOLD EVERYONE THAT WOULD LISTEN, WHICH IS QUITE A LOT OF PEOPLE, AND THEY _ALL_ KNOW ABOUT HOW MANY DATES YOU OWE!”

 

“Eep.”

 

The Void Being and Papyrus shared the same smug grin.

  
  


**12:17 am**

 

“Okay Paps, I’m sorry about breaking your mind with the shipping things. Truce?”

 

“HMM. HMMMM. HMMMMMM!” He rubbed his mandible again. “YES! WE CAN HAVE A TRUCE! FOR NOW!”

 

“Cool, thank goodness. Mind if I ask just one last question about it?”

 

“I WILL ALLOW THIS ONE QUESTION!”

 

“ _ Is _ there anyone you are interested in such a way?”

 

Papyrus’ grin slackened a little. Not out of sadness but out of thought. “HMMMMMMM.”

 

I waited for a while. With no answer forthcoming I eventually leaned back in my seat and picked a wall to stare at.

 

“THAT IS A WONDERFUL QUESTION!” Papyrus spoke up at last. “IS THERE SOMEONE THAT IS WORTHY OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ ROMANTIC INTENTIONS? TO THAT I SAY….!”

 

I held my breath for the answer.

 

“...I… DO NOT…. KNOW.”

 

“Come again?”

 

“I DO NOT KNOW. I HAVE NEVER REALLY GIVEN THAT SORT OF A QUESTION ANY THOUGHT! BETWEEN MY BROTHER AND HIS ISSUES THAT HE HAS THANKFULLY STARTED TO WORK OUT, THE POSITION OF THE ROYAL GUARD THAT NEVER CAME TO BE, AS WELL AS MY ENDEAVORS TO SHOW THE WHOLE OF THE UNDERGROUND THE GREATNESS THAT IS PAPYRUS…. I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ROMANCE. NOT EVEN CONSIDERED IT.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“IT IS NOT THAT I AM AVERSE TO THE IDEA. FAR FROM IT! BUT THERE’S NEVER BEEN A REAL POINT WHERE I MIGHT BE WITH SOMEONE IN THAT SORT OF SETTING. HUH. IT IS AN INTERESTING THOUGHT. BUT! I WOULD ONLY CONSIDER SUCH A THING IF THE BEING THAT I HAVE SHOWN INTEREST IN HAS DONE THE SAME FOR ME, _AND_ BOTH SIDES ARE TRULY INTO THE IDEA!”

 

“Well yeah, that’d be the point.” I gave the skele-cop a nudge to the elbow.

 

“BUT THAT IS A THING TO CONSIDER! LATER! WHEN THERE ARE LESS MISCREANTS TO BUST!”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“NOW PLEASE PASS ME A CINNABUNNY!”

  
  


**1:39 am**

  
  


The Void Being paced back and forth along the dashboard. They were about as bored as I was. Papyrus had since gone back into his incredibly powerful but equally silent super-staredown of the wall.

 

“Can’t believe I am saying this, but I wish something would happen already.”

 

Papyrus didn’t move an inch.

 

I pulled out the phone for the fiftieth time in the last twenty five minutes and gave up trying to be interested in the few games I had on it. Same for the Papyrus-phone. The Void being kept up their pacing.

 

“Ugh I have played the  _ crap _ out of Minesweeper. Hm. Hey, wanna play me in Minesweeper, make it a bit more interesting?”

 

Papyrus continued to play a statue.

 

“I know it doesn’t look like a two-player game, but if one guy goes then the second player goes next and tries to beat that time or score.”

 

Papyrus remained stock still.

 

My eyebrow went up. I reached over slowly and poked Papyrus’ elbow.

 

The calcium-fortified Captain jolted like someone hit him with electricity!

 

“WHAT THE-!”

 

“WHAT THE! HUMAN! DON’T DO THAT!”

 

“Wh- Paps… were you-”

 

“NO!”

 

“I mean, serious, it looked like you-”

“NNNNO!!!”

 

“Were you… sleeping?”

 

“NO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD NEVER SLEEP ON THE JOB!!! OR EVER!!! IT IS A WASTE OF VALUABLE TIME THAT COULD BE USED TO HELP EVERYONE!!!”

 

“You totally were sleeping. With your eyes open too!”

 

“NO! I WAS NOT! I REBUFF YOUR ALLEGATIONS!”

 

“You so totally were! Wait till sans-”

 

"BESIDES, EVEN IF I WERE TO DO SUCH A THING! MY POWERS OF OBSERVATION ARE SO WELL-HONED THAT THEY FUNCTION EVEN IN THE DEPTHS OF NOT-SLUMBER! SEE!"

 

Papyrus pointed dramatically to his left. I followed the finger.

 

“That’s a trashcan.”

 

“JUST A TRASHCAN, HMMMMM? PERHAPS YOUR SENSES ARE NOT AS KEEN AS MINE. OR PERHAPS THIS IS A CLEVER JAPE PERPETUATED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS AS A DISTRACTION! NYEH HEH! FOR YOU SEE, THE LAST CINNABUNNY IS MINE!"

 

I looked down at my lap where the box of cinnabunnies once were, and back to Papyrus. He had the biggest grin on his face as the last bunny was stuffed in his mouth!

 

“You cheater! I was gonna eat that bunny!”

 

“HAH HA! THE ART OF DISTRACTION IS THE BEST TOOL IN A WARRIOR’S TOOLKIT! YOU FELL FOR MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY AND YOUR VICTUALS ARE FORFEIT! ALL HAIL THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

 

“I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!” I said as I made a few mock bows. Papyrus took it in stride and only beamed fifty percent more brightly than he usually did.

  
  


**2:15 am**

 

“When does the report of the markings tend to happen?”   
  


“HONESTLY WE GET CALLS ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT AND INTO THE MORNING!”

 

“And you’re certain that this area is the best one to keep an eye on?”

 

“WE HAVE HAD AT LEAST ONE CALL EVERY NIGHT FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS, AND OVER HALF OF THE CALLS ORIGINATED IN THIS ALLEYWAY CONNECTING TO THE SHOPPING CENTER! BY THE LAWS OF AVERAGE THIS IS THE BEST SPOT TO BE!”

 

“Wonder why this spot in particular.”

 

“I DO NOT KNOW AND I INTEND TO ASK THE MISCREANTS ONCE YOU AND I CATCH THEM!”

 

“Any theories rolling around in that skull of yours? Or in the base?”

 

“I HAVE A FEW! FRUSTRATED ARTISTS! TEMMIES! NETTLED YOUTH! PROTESTORS OF THE NEWER STORES THAT TOOK OLD LOCATIONS WHEN THEY WENT UNDER, THE POOR SOULS. ASGORE!”

 

“A-Asgore?!”

 

“HE HAS BEEN IN THE WILDERNESS FOR MONTHS! ALONE! UTTERLY ALONE! WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT HAS DONE TO HIS MIND! NOW! HE SIMPLY HIDES FROM THE WORLD, ONLY TO REAPPEAR TO MAKE HIS MARK ONCE AGAIN!”

 

“With random squiggles that amount to nothing more than a bit of cleaning?”

 

“I JUST SAID THAT HIS MIND IS AFFECTED!”

 

“I think it’s Gertrude.”

 

“THE NICE OLD LADY FROM THE TAILOR SHOP?!”

 

“Yeah. Too nice. Years of working with Mort finally took their toll. Now she’s a renegade granny with an art itch that has to be scratched.”

 

“NOW THAT IS JUST NONSENSE.”

 

“Not as bad as-”

 

“CLEARLY IT’S A JOINT VENTURE BETWEEN GERTRUDE _AND_ MORT!”

 

“Oho?”

 

“VERY OHO! SEE, HE SPOTS THE PLACES THAT NEEDS TO BE TAGGED, AND IN THE COVER OF THE NIGHT SHE DOES SO! WHY? WHY NOT! THEY NEED SOME FUN IN THEIR LIVES AND WHAT BETTER WAY THAN TO MAKE THEIR MOST FAVORITE OF POLICE OFFICERS GO BATTY WITH A MYSTERY!”

 

The Void Being raised their hands up and waved wildly.

 

“What’s up?”

 

They concentrated hard and shifted their body. They took a really good impression-form of Alphys.

 

“Alphys?”

 

“HM? WHAT’S THAT ABOUT ALPHYS?”

 

“Voidy here thinks it’s Alphys.”

 

“HMMMMM.”

 

The Grey Blob gestured for a few moments then seemed to remember that I didn’t understand too much despite my attempts to learn their sign language. They began to mime…

 

“OH! They think she’s sleep-walking!”

 

“SLEEP WALKING?!”

 

“Yeah! She’s been…” They mimed typing at a computer. “She’s been working so hard that she went into a weird sleep and…” They acted out grabbing something, shook it up and started making smooth curved motions. “And tagging the walls in her sleep.”

 

“THAT! MAY BE! A VERY SOLID THEORY! I WILL ASK UNDYNE TO KEEP TABS ON ALPHYS AND TO GIVE ME REGULAR REPORTS OF THEIR SLEEPING HABITS!”

 

“......Uhhhh…”

 

“WAIT! NEVERMIND!”

 

“Good plan, dood.”

  
  


**3:07 am**

  
  


“STILL NOTHING?”

 

“Nope. Not even a car. Heck I haven’t even seen any of the janitorial crews.”

 

“NOT SURPRISING! WE HAVE ASKED EVERYONE TO USE THE MAIN DOORS UNTIL THIS ISSUE HAS BEEN RESOLVED.”

 

“That go for the raccoons too?”

 

“YES! WE MANAGED TO GET THEM TO VACATE THE AREA AS WELL, AND TRANSPORTED THEM TO A MUCH NICER AND RACCOON FRIENDLY LOCATION! IT HAS A CASTLE! AND IT SMELLS VAGUELY OF SOUR CREAM!”

 

“Sounds nice.”

  
  


**3:53 am**

  
  


“Welp. This is getting weird.”

 

“YES INDEED. PERHAPS THEY KNEW THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ALONG WITH THE HUMAN HERO OF THE UNDERGROUND AS MY COHORT WERE TO BE HERE AND KEEP WATCH ALL NIGHT LONG!”

“All night is right. Nearly four am.”

 

“AND YET WE STILL HAVE SEVERAL HOURS TO GO TILL DAYBREAK!”

 

“Ugh. I’m starting to run a little low on energy myself.”

 

“NOT TO WORRY! I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS SITUATION! LOOK TO THE BACK SEAT AND YOU SHALL FIND BACKUP BACKUP VICTUALS!”

 

“Wait, if you had backups, why’d you steal my cinnabunny?”

 

“TO TEACH YOU A LESSON IN TRICKERY AND AWARENESS! AND BECAUSE IT WAS YUMMY!”

 

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and turned around in my seat. “Hey, you got good stuff back here.”

 

“I CAME VERY PREPARED!”

“Though it looks like someone tore through the Hershey’s Kisses already.”

 

“WHAT!?! THEY WERE MY SPECIAL CHOICE OF THE NIGHT!”

 

“See for yourself dood.”

 

Papyrus turned in his seat and ducked down next to me. His jaw dropped when he saw the empty bag. Even the Void Being peered as far over as they could from where they were on the console.

 

“NOOOOOO MY KISSES!”

 

“We can get ya more dood. Though I wonder who would-”

 

He shook his head and got back into his seat. “I WILL FIND OUT AS SOON AS W-”

 

Papyrus’ declaration stopped short.

 

“Paps? What’s wrong?” I pulled myself into my seat as well and went stock still. The Void Being had done the same and all of their many hands drooped down at their sides.

 

The walls in front of us were completely covered in all manner of black squiggles. None crossed the other, but they were jam-packed as they could be without touching and still be visibly distinct. The art extended from one end of the alley way till it literally stopped short at the very front of the hood of the car.

 

“....Paps.”

 

“YES?”

 

“How long did we look away?”

 

“LESS THAN A FEW SECONDS.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“YEAH. HUH.”

 

The Void Being didn’t react to either of us. They just kept staring.

 

“Hey Paps?”

 

“YES?”

 

“....I don’t think this is the work of Gertrude. Or Mort.”

 

“NO. NO I DON’T THINK IT IS EITHER.”

  
  


**4:27 am**

 

“Okay. From the top you two.  _ How long _ did you look away?”

 

Chief Clark was looking fairly groggy considering we woke her up so early. Her badge was a little off kilter but considering the time, the situation, and the fact that I think she bench presses as much as I weigh, I wasn’t about to point that out to her.

 

“We ducked down to check on what happened to Papyrus’ Hershey’s. Took maybe five seconds, ten at most. Not nearly enough time to let... this happen.” I waved my hand where several other officers were taking photos for evidence. A cleaning crew was tasked to scrub off the marks after the police had made their notes.

 

“And you’re sure neither of you saw anything?”

 

“WE WERE COMPLETELY VIGILANT THE WHOLE OF THE NIGHT!”

 

“Iii’ll admit that I got distracted a few times. But Captain Papyrus here never took his eyes off the walls until that fateful moment.”

 

“And the moment you two-”

 

“Three. Voidy was with us too.”

 

“Okay, the moment the three of you did…”

 

“We got hit by M C Escher’s evil cousin. In record time.”

 

“AND WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SOUND!”

 

The Chief wrote everything down on a tiny notepad. “Ugh, this is getting insane. But this does add... something to this case. Not sure what. Hm. Captain, stick with the crew and keep an eye on them. They start acting weird, get them home.”

 

“YES CHIEF!”

 

“As for you and… Voidy,” Chief Clark pointed her pen at me. “You two need to get on home too. I got your testimony as to what happened, and there’s not anything I can really hold you for seeing as you were with Captain Papyrus the whole time.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“But don’t think for an instant this clears you.”

 

My eyebrows shot up. So did Papyrus’.

 

“This is two incidents now where you’ve been with one of our officers, specifically our two biggest monster officers, and something  _ weird _ has happened. It might be coincidence, or maybe something else. You’re not a suspect but I have my suspicions. Understood?”

 

I mulled it over but the long night had started to catch up with me so I couldn’t really figure what she meant at the moment. A glance to the Void Being told me they did though.

 

“I kinda understand you, Chief.”

 

“Hm. That’ll do for now. I’ll have Officer Perkins there get you back to the inn. Have a good night.”

 

“You too, Chief. Laters, Cap’n.”

 

“MAY YOU SLEEP WELL!”

  
  


**4:42 am**

 

When I finally got back to my room, I set the Void Being down on their bed-box and quickly collapsed onto my bed. I didn’t even bother to take off my glasses I was so tired. So… sooo… tired…

  
  


**3:17 pm**

  
  


**“Oh hello Darling! Time for you to answer this quiz while dancing!”** Mettaton announced as a stream of hot dogs fell from the sky. Well not fell. They were being thrown by a gaggle of sanses in Toriel’s robes.

 

“I can’t! I have to launch Papyrus’ ship before the tickets run out!” I pushed against the aft of said Papyrus-Ship as it let out its greatest “NYEH HEH HEH!”

 

**“Oh so sorry time’s up! Tell the human what they’ve won!”** The hotdogs shifted into black squiggles that stopped in mid-air.

 

“Wait no-!”

 

A sudden explosion of sound rocketed me out of my dream and onto the floor.

 

“WHAT THE-!”

 

**“OOOOOOHHHHHH YES DARLING! UP UP UP WE HAVE A SCHEDULE TO KEEP!”**

 

I blinked heavily against the lights and glitter that had come to invade my room. And there, standing at the doorway, in his classic boxy form…

 

**“The cameras await! The audience awaits! I await! It is time for!”**

 

Mettaton picked me up, twirled me around, and dipped me so low my head touched the floor.

 

**“Our first of many dates, Darling!”**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeellllllo everyone! I know, been a lot longer than I expected! BUT! I have gotten a good chunk of my muse back! At least enough to bang out this chapter. Hope you liked it ;)
> 
>  
> 
> In happy news, Liatai was able to beta-read once more, and as always helped add some proper flavor to the Papyrus lines. Thank you much doodette!
> 
> In further happier news, she has also been able to get a few more posts done on her tumblr, [ Ask the Living Core. ](https://askthelivingcore.tumblr.com/) Go have a look see! It has been liked by Zarla and has gotten a couple of really good fan-art pieces, one of which is done by the talented [ 0turn-the-lights-out0!](https://0turn-the-lights-out0.tumblr.com/) Give them a friendly look-see too, eh?
> 
> I hope to see y'all again soonish with another chapter! I am fairly certain it won't take nearly as long as this one did :P
> 
> Tootles!


	14. Instant Squiggles, No Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protip! If you did not read Chapter 13 because you did not know there was a proper Chapter 13 go do so! There is a bit of spoilage here in this one! Go Go Go!
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy, will ya?

**“Oohhhh yes Darling! It is that time! We are definitely going to paint the town red tonight! For you and I? We shall finally get our deluge of dates underway!”**

 

Mettaton flipped me back onto my feet with practiced ease and twirled himself away back towards the door in the process. I stumbled a bit in the meantime and landed keister first onto my bed. The Void Being on my dresser just watched in a mixture of abject horror, abject elation and abject annoyance.

 

Behind Mettaton was a pair of camera people. A frog-like person held up a camera while a human kept a boom-mike in voice-collecting range.

 

**“Darling, what are you doing going back to bed so soon, hm? You have to get ready! I have already booked us a rather wonderful spot in a very prestigious restaurant, followed by a few movies. Most of them starring or including** **_moi_ ** **, of course. And then-!”**

 

I couldn’t help but tune him out at that point. With the night before, the Temmies, as well as a few unsettling happenings in the world around me I was completely wiped. I mean, I wasn’t gonna deny him a night out, I was just-

 

**“And then we have the chocolate tasting! Oooohhh darling I have fallen in love with the human styles of… of… Oh goodness, Darling, are you alright?”** Mettaton asked as lightly as he could in his rectangular form.

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m good, just a little tired from… eh, no matter, I’m good.”

 

Even without a proper face I could tell that Mettaton didn’t buy my words for a second. His hands went to his ninety-degree ‘hips’ and I swear his foot would have tapped if he had one at the moment.

 

**“Really. You’re ‘good’ you say.”**

 

“I… do?” I ventured hesitantly.

 

Mettaton kept up his pose for a few seconds. Then without warning he rounded onto his two crew.

 

**“Cameras off! Cameras OFF I say! Get rid of this glitter, turn off that microphone, off off off I say! We need five minutes! Go!”**

 

The two crew looked between themselves.

 

“You sure Mr. Mettaton?”

 

“We haven’t even gotten enough footage to make it to a comm-”

 

**“When I say something I am very quite sure of what is said! Now skedaddle!”**

 

“Yes Mr. Mettaton!” They agreed in unison. In moments a great deal of glitter was scooped out of the room and they left. Mettaton closed the door and wheeled over to where I sat.

 

**“I know nerves when I see them and you are a bundle of them, Darling. Spill.”**

 

“Uhh…”

 

 **“Don’t you ‘uhh’ me. I can see that you are not nearly as up to a night out on my terms as you claim to be, and you should not force yourself to be out and about for** ** _my_** **sake. As much as I appreciate the gesture it would also be an insult. And I do not take insults lightly, Darling,”**  Mettaton said as he waggled a finger at me.

 

I breathed out heavily through my nose. “Yeah, I shoulda known better than to try and out-act you. You’re the bigger star here, after all.”

 

**“Oh so very true.”**

 

“Heh. Alright, so, the last few days has been hectic with a lot of stuff going on, including a guy freaking out against Undyne and Onion-San, a walk-about with Undyne, Alphys is still a bit heated with me-”

 

**“Not surprising, you DID interrupt her in the middle of her-”**

 

“AND THEN there was the all-nighter with Papyrus and the sudden appearance of the squiggles!” I said a bit more loudly than normal. I just had to stop Mettaton from finishing that sentence.

 

**“I believe you are skipping over the Temmies.”**

 

I curled up into a ball and fell onto my side on the bed. “So. Many. Temmies.”

 

Mettaton’s gloved hand patted my arm.  **“My my my, you have certainly had a rough couple days now haven’t you?”**

 

I gave a small nod. “It’s been spread out more than a couple days, but still…”

 

The robo-star sighed.  **“I should have known this would be the case. You slipped between worlds, and landed right back onto our doorsteps yet again! But of course fate wouldn’t let you relax!”**

 

“It’s not been all that bad, just a bit hectic la-”

 

**“And here I am, demanding that you fulfill the promises you made so long ago, so** **_so_ ** **long ago! Trying to force you to enjoy a meal, watch a movie, and otherwise do something outside of the inn. Oh how terrible I am!”** Mettaton completed this with him falling backwards onto my bed with the back of his hand upon his ‘brow’.

 

I gave the mechanical diva a half-smirk. “Yes, horrible and terrible of you indeed.”

 

 **“Indeed I am. But, to speak frankly Darling, you really do need a night out,”** Mettaton said as he rolled onto his side. **“One that** ** _doesn’t_** **involve weird happenstances.”**

 

“This mean you won’t force me to be in a GlamBurger commercial?”

 

**“I… drat, you found me out.”**

 

“Hah!”

 

**“Will you settle for a Starfait commercial?”** Even with the vocal processing I caught the tinge of humor in his voice.

 

“We’ll discuss that later.” I rolled back into an upright sitting position and helped Mettaton do the same. The Void Being waved from the desk.

 

“Pardon a moment?”

 

**“But of course Darling.”**

 

I hopped off the bed and walked over to where Voidy sat. “What’s up?”

 

As one their gaggle of hands pointed downward as their face made a decidedly determined and serious look.

 

“Iiiiii am gonna guess that means you are staying put, eh?”

 

A nod was my response.

 

“Fair enough.”

 

**“I take it you are talking to your invisible friend?”** Mettaton asked from the bed.

 

“Yeah. They’re staying put, either for privacy concerns or just wanting to binge on more YouTube.” The Void Being gave me a ‘either or’ motion with a few of their arms.

 

**“Very well. But I must admit, I find this whole ‘unseen benefactor’ thing as a bit unusual. Granted, everything that happens around you tends to be unusual, but this is moreso.”**

 

“Maybe, but it is what it is.” I yawned heavily as I went back over to Mettaton. At his prompting I helped him off the mattress and planted his wheel back down onto the floor.

 

**“Real talk, Darling. Do you or do you not want to enjoy a date with me? I’d keep the cameras to a minimum and will use the edible sequins sparingly.”** Mettaton proposed.

 

“Hmmm… I could use a restaurant experience. Ritzy you said?”

 

**“Positively glamorous!”**

 

“Ehhh, I got some good clothes but nothing  _ that _ spectacular.”

 

**“Darling, you just wear your best! You’ll be with me, and my presence alone will make you** **_fabulous_ ** **!”**

 

“Hrrrrrrmmmm…”

 

If Mettaton could breathe I bet it would have stopped in anticipation.

 

“Alright, alright, I’ll go. If just to help start clearing off my debt,” I joked with a nudge. “But serious, keep the cameras-”

 

**“I may enjoy the spotlight Darling but even I know how some people have their limits. While I may have wanted to shoot our first proper date out, I suppose I can settle with the second or third one.** **_C'est la vie._ ** **”**

 

“Do you actually speak French or do you just like using the small phrases?” I asked.

 

**“Believe it or not Darling I can actually speak a little French. I have become fluent in Japanese as well as Taiwanese, and have a smattering of German going on as well,”** Mettaton said with a pose.

 

“Neat. Becoming quite the omniglot in your travels.”

 

**“A necessity of such worldwide renown. Now enough about me! You need to get out of your sleeping clothes and into your dating ones!”** Mettaton exclaimed as he pushed me over towards my dresser.  **“The reservation may be later but I prefer to be fashionably early!”**

 

“Don’t you mean fashionably late?”

 

**“That depends on the situation. Now change, Darling!”** Mettaton patted me on the shoulders and rolled towards the door.

 

I gave a shrug and started to lift my shirt up. I paused when I felt something odd. I turned…

 

And there was Mettaton standing at the door.

 

“Uhm. Do you mind?”

 

**“No.”**

 

He paused for a moment.

 

**“Oh, oh, right right right, I’ll leave you be.”**

 

Mettaton brightly opened up the door and slowly exited. He kept his waving hand extended into my room for a rather long time before it finally followed after him. The door clicked shut.

 

“....Keep an eye on that to make sure he doesn’t poke in again, mkay?”

 

The Void Being nodded and turned their attention away from my phone to the door instead.

 

\---

 

“Well.  Hm. When you said fancy, I was thinking, you know,  _ fancy _ . This. This is uh….”

 

**“Oh Darling, come now! This is the best restaurant in allllll of the city! I even triple checked to make sure they have some monster chefs on hand for your stomach troubles, and they do indeed!”** Mettaton waved a hand to the gloriously opulent building. It was about two stories tall, had several balcony tables, a direct view of the lake that Undyne and I went to the other day, marble pillars, gold inlay decorations, statues. The works. Picture the most stereotypical idea of a super, ultra, extreme high-end fancy restaurant and you’d have this place.

 

“Oy… And here I was, worried about being underdressed.” I looked the place over with mild trepidation. Everything about this universe had seemed to be nicer than the one I came from overall, but this? I could just feel the snootiness.

 

I heard Mettaton rotate about on his leg as he looked between me and the building. Next thing I knew he whipped up his hand in a phone-call mockup and rolled a short distance away.

 

“Uh, Metts?” I was cut off by a held up finger.

 

**“Yes, hello, this is Mettaton. Mhm, yes, that Mettaton. I believe I have a reservation for… what was it, six o’clock? Yes yes I know, close to the mark, but I am afraid I need to cancel. No no no, I don’t want to cancel the rest, just the one. Yes. Yes I know, I know, last second but it’s an emergency. Yes. Yes, bigger than that one. Darling, I can live through that, I proved it two months ago. No, no I have no ill will, I just- oh. Ohhh I see. Well then! Happy coincidences then! Give my regards to the happy and lucky couple. Okay! Okay! Yes, I get it. Okay! Tootles!”** Mettaton closed his hand, gave it a shake and took in a very unnecessary breath. In short order he rolled back over to me.

 

**“Good news Darling! Our evening is now freed up so that we may go and spread my wonderful celebrity endorsement to a different and likely well-deserved business that could use some extra glamour in its life!”**

 

“You just cancelled a reservation at a fancy restaurant for me?” I asked. Mettaton waved me off with a flash of red on his screen.

 

**“Oh no worries, Darling! I told you that I could tell that you needed a night out, and honestly? I think I could do with some less flashy decor. Or at least less opulent. Get in touch with my humbler roots. Besides, we’re going to make several people’s nights just with our glamorous presences! We already made a couple happy by our change in plans, so let’s go spread more happiness!”** Mettaton said with a bit too much enthusiasm.

 

“Heh. Alright, alright, thank you, Metts. I’ll be honest, I don’t know too many places in town. I’ve done some walking, sure, but I’ve not-”

 

**“Then we shall walk the town and let the winds take us where they may! Wherever we end up we shall simply make that place so much more** **_fabulous_ ** **, Darling!”** The robo-diva said with a flourish before he snatched me by the arm and dragged me back to the main sidewalk.

 

\---

 

After a short time walking (rolling in Mettaton’s case) I spied upon a restaurant that was sure to garner a fun reaction from the ghost-in-the-machine.

 

“Hey, look. We could eat there,” I said with a nudge to Metts. He looked over and just froze.

 

**“What.”**

 

“Yeah, there’d be perfect. Right?”

 

I had just pointed him towards a Burger King. He looked at it. He looked at me. He Looked back at it.

 

He started to roll away from me to the other side of the street.

 

“Oh come on, Metts, I was jok-!”

 

**“No, nope, nuh-uh, no no no no, not doing it. I have principles, Darling. Many principles. So many of them. Quite a lot of standards. Nope. Not happening. No.”** Metts put his hands on his hips and just kept on rolling while I tried to catch up to him.

 

“Drama queen,” I said with a joking tone once I got to his side.

 

**“Fashion disaster.”**

 

“Glamour hound.”

 

**“Tasteless hack.”**

 

“Wait, I thought Alphys was the tasteless hack?”

 

**“One, that’s hack-er. Two, she has plenty of good taste. Undyne can vouch for that,”** Mettaton retorted with a finger waggle in the air.

 

“Ohhhhh my.”

 

**“Ohh my wh- oh you dirty minded human you. I don’t know why I thought I could enjoy a simple sin-free night with you.”** Metta capped this off with another diva pose, hand to the forehead and all.

 

“Pft, whatever, you probably knew what you were saying when you said it.” I gave him another nudge. He nearly lost his balance and this time I got to catch him. “Gotcha.”

 

**“Oh my, you know how to sweep me off my feet, Darling!”**

 

“Wheel in this case.”

 

That got me a bop to the nose.  **“Don’t spoil my metaphors with literalness.”**

 

“But that’s the best way to mess with Metta-phors.”

 

**“....I heard that. I actually heard. That. How. Just how.”**

 

I helped Metts back into an upright position (tray tables not included on his chassis). “I have had a few duels with sans.”

 

Mettaton sighed with a hand to his face-lights.  **“Oh that explains so much.”**

 

“Come to think of it, didn’t he try to do a show or two in your hotel when it was up and running?” We resumed our now destination-free walk. Mettaton tapped his head as he thought. Lights on his panel blinked in a random order as he did so.

 

**“You know, I think he did. He got booed off a couple times, but they weren’t in bad nature. If I recall correctly it was the kind of booing expected for his level of…”** Mettaton waved a hand as he tried to find the right word. “ **Punmanship.”**

 

“He must have eaten it up.”

 

Metts did the chin-stroke thing (sans the chin of course).  **“Well. Now that I think about it. He DID act as though it was what he wanted. But in hindsight. He didn’t really seem to care if he got a laugh or a groan. He just kind of... did it.”**

 

I nodded. “Yeah, considering how he was feeling then I’m sure that’s pretty much what was going through his head. Five gold says that he likely did the act at his bro’s insistence.”

 

I snapped my fingers. “THAT! Reminds me. Wanna talk about a different subject?”

 

**“Currently, yes, but I do wish to speak to sans about-”**

 

“He’s getting help, and he’s doing good. He’d really rather not have a lot of folks talk to him about it because it can come off as, well, pestering. I should know.” I sighed. “I’ve been there.”

 

Mettaton stopped rolling for a few moments and it took me a second to realize he had. We shared an awkward silence that was broken when he patted me on the back.

 

**“How about that other subject, Darling?”**

 

“Other sub- OH! Right. Speaking of Papyrus, I kinda broke his brain the other night.” We resumed our walk. We had since entered one of the city’s smallish official parks. It was nice little area. Had a fountain, a duck pond, a Temmie recreation area.

 

We kept away from the Temmie recreation area.

 

**“You? Breaking Papyrus’ brain? I have heard of the skele-man, and he seems to be one that is quite difficult to rend mentally asunder. Do tell.”**

 

“We were on a bit of watch for a happening that’s been going on in the city. You know, the-”

 

**“Black squiggles. You mentioned them earlier tonight and I** **_do_ ** **keep close tabs on my home even while traveling. Do go on.”**

 

“Right, that. Well, we were watching for whatever the hell is making the things and the subject of shipping came up.”

 

Mettaton laughed.  **“Ohhh ho ho ho this ought to be good. I imagine it dealt with how your home universe paired people in ours?”**

 

“Got it in one.” We turned a corner and made our way to the center of the park. Lots of trees, a nice little roundabout for the sidewalk around a statue of the founder of the city (Gilbert G. Gilford for those that want to know. Squat old man, big beard, tiny glasses). Quaint and quiet at this time of the night.

 

“He was flabbergasted at the thought that anyone,  _ anyone _ , would find sans attractive to the degree that I described it, and even moreso when I told him that the fave pairing was with him and Toriel.”

 

The mecha-diva screeched to a halt.  **“The** **_ex-queen?!_ ** **”**

 

“The very same.”

 

**“Scandalous…! Continue.”**

 

“I did. And it led to other pairs that were popular in the fandom. Naturally Papyrus came up.”

 

Mettaton practically pogo’d on his wheel.  **“Ohhhhh! Dish Darling!”**

 

“Yeah. Uhm. The most common pairing for Papyrus? It’s, uh, it’s you.”

 

Mettaton went stock still, mid-bounce and mid-clap.

 

“Yeah. Uh. Apparently people took a few one-shot lines from Papyrus a bit far, as well as your personalities and it just… it just took off like a glitter-and-bone hewn rocket. Save for sans and Toriel you two are considered the most popular ship.”

 

Mettaton just kept silent.

 

“Period.”

 

Mettaton and I just stood there in silence. I was completely certain that his motors had shut down from shock. I gave him a tap to the casing. There was no response.

 

“Uh, Mettaton? You okay in th-?”

 

Mettaton shot out a crapton of confetti like he was a float in a Mardi Gras Parade.

 

**“Oh my goodness Darling! The scandal! The infamy! The sheer tabloid fodder that could be! Me and Papyrus? Why we barely know one another! I know he’s a big fan of mine, I get congratulatory letters from him all the time, but oh my goodness!”**

 

Mettaton started to pace back and forth. I got the feeling that I was about to be ignored for a few minutes.

 

**“If word of this gets out I’d never hear the end of it. Tabloids! Fan sites! Fans in general! I’d be hounded with questions. Nitpicked for details. I’d have cameras twenty-four-seven just to see all of the lurid details!”**

 

He turned to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and hefted me up with a small shake.

 

**“It’d be fabulous! So much instant celebrity added onto my current pile of amazing talent that I could coast for at least a few months before I go back into the normal swing of things! I would gain so much attention!”** He plopped me back on my feet. Just as I caught myself from falling he started to pace once again.  **“We’d have to think of a way to swing this! Maybe throw in how it comes from other fans from another universe. OH! I just realized!”**

 

He turned to me again with a whir!  **“I must be ever so popular back in your universe too! Tell me, do I have legions? Cosplayers? OH! Do I have remixes!?”**

 

I tried to say something but I was cut off in short order.

 

**“Oh this is perfect! In a month a new album of mine is coming out. OH! I wonder if there’ll be a parallel release in the other universe too? I could use that in marketing! Maybe let slip in an interview about the whole Papyrus-Slash-Me ship thing in-!”**

 

“WHOA! Hold it, time out, pause button, STOP!” I planted myself in front of Mettaton’s path. He didn’t react quickly enough and ran smack into me. I fell over backwards with a tumble.

 

**“Oh my goodness Darling I am so sorry! But… What was that about?”** He rolled over and helped me back to my feet.

 

“Okay, being happy about having a whole other planet’s worth of potential stardom is wonderful and all-”

 

**“You have no idea Darling!”**

 

“But you’re not the only one in the equation about the whole shipping thing,” I said with a bit of a point to my voice.

 

**“But wh… Oh. Ohhhhh. Papyrus.”**

 

“Yeah, him. Remember what I said at the beginning of the whole bit?” 

 

Mettaton twiddled his fingers.  **“That he was a bit on the mind-broken side.”**

 

“A bit nothing; he was silent for at least five minutes straight as he tried to contemplate what he learned. And for Papyrus that’s no mean feat.”

 

The diva twiddled some more.

 

“Sooooooo it might be a good idea, a very good idea, to talk to  _ him _ about that sorta thing before you thrust him into the celebrity world. Besides, who knows what’d that do to his officer career,” I said as I crossed my arms. Mettaton paused in his twiddles. His face-plate started to blink some more.

 

**“I… I totally see what you are getting at Darling. Oh dear me I was getting wrapped up in myself again, wasn’t I?”**

 

I did the horizontal-hand-shake thing. “Just a tad.”

 

**“Drat. I was getting better about that.”** Metts looked around. He pointed over to a convenient nearby bench. Hint taken I followed him to the bit of outdoor furniture and the two of us sat.

 

**“Blooky and I have been working on that… aspect of mine. I still have fits of severe selfishness and tunnel vision but I have been catching myself better and sooner. Blooky said I’ve been making progress too. Oh dear.”**

 

I patted Metts on the back this time, though I made sure to avoid the switch. “The part about bolstering your fame with the other universe idea isn’t a bad one. Just don’t do anything with the Papyrus stuff without his express permission. Okay?”

 

He gave a thumbs up in lieu of an impossible to perform nod.  **“I shall make sure of that Darling. Still though!”** He waggled a finger.  **“Your universe has some very odd ideas of who should be with who!”**

 

“You don’t know the half of it. You ever heard of the bara genre?”

 

**“I lived with Alphys, Darling.”**

 

“Right. Well. See, here’s the thing about Asgore….”

 

\---

 

**“....My goodness. I thought Alphys was bad with the shipping habits. But this. This is a whole different level, Darling.”**

 

“Yeah, trust me. And I’ve only skimmed the surface.”

 

We had walked and talked from the park all the way back to the Bunnykeep Inn. The subject matter between us was fairly obvious. By the time we had made it back to my current home it was fairly dark out. Street lamps were glowing and the half-moon was shining as best as it could.

 

**“Dear dear dear. Well. I certainly have a lot to think about. Quite a lot to think about.”**

 

“And not one word of this to-”

 

**“Darling, trust me, I may have been enamored with the prospect earlier tonight but I am dead certain on not letting** **_this_ ** **particular cat out of the bag.”**

 

I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. Welp, I gotta get back inside. Maybe figure out a quick meal or something.”

 

Mettaton froze.  **“SHOOT! I knew there was something I forgot about tonight!”**

 

I gave a short laugh as he hopped up and down in “anger”. “Hey, Metts, no worries. We’ll do something later, I’m sure of it.”

 

**“It’ll be much later with the tours I have set, but I think we’ll see each other again after a couple months. Shame I’ll be missing the Guards’ wedding but a schedule must be kept.”**

 

“Ah, right. Eh, dang man.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “Any way we can keep in touch?”

 

**“No, sadly, I’ll be far too busy and I’d rather talk to you directly than have an assistant do it for me. You’re a rather important person in my life you know.”**

 

I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that.

 

**“But I must be off! Planes to catch, autographs to make.”** Mettaton turned on his wheel with a flourish and his signature posing.

 

“Heh. Good ni-”

 

**“AndquitealottotalkaboutwithAlphysbeforeIleave TOOTLES!”** Mettaton immediately shot down the street like a freakin rocket.

 

“DAMN YOU METTATON!”

 

**“Caaaan’t hear you Darling, Ta-taaaaaaa!”** He called back as he raced far and away from me.

 

I stood there and watched him go. Thoughts, horrible thoughts, raced through my head from the repercussions of the dark information I revealed unto him.

 

“....Crudballs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOO DOGGIES!
> 
> I am so sorry to everyone who has waited for this chapter. I mean, I posted number 13 a while back but I don't think it registered seeing as I took down the "original" announcement chapter. But with this new one perhaps folks will see it....?
> 
> Anyways! I am so so so so so SO sorry about the time it took. I was under a lot of stress with career change, personal fun times, depression, you know. The usual things that kills off a lot of authors :P
> 
> That said, this one [i]was[/i] being worked on the for the longest time. I even ended up doing a massive rewrite in order to fit Mettaton better. Hint: He was initially going to near-force the Protag into the whole fancy place thing until they made it super evident that they were uncomfortable. Nnnnnnot the best of directions after I thought about it, and it was a huge reason why it took so long to complete until I had my own revelation.
> 
> On the negative side I didn't get to show off my subversion of the snooty waitstaff for an uber-exquisite eatery. They were actually kinda fun to write. Ah well, ideas for later.
> 
> I must give many thanks to Liatai and Michelle for, once again, being my beta-readers and to help me pick out things to do, not to do and especiallythe clunky writing. Thank you both so so much!
> 
> ANYWAYS! The next chapter should not take as long. And I swear, there's a rhyme and reason to everything, even the slice of life stuff. ;)
> 
> Till next! Tootles!


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